Belgian Birthday
Before getting on with this week's news roundup, time for some birthday wishes. Today they go to Jordi, who is presently residing in Belgium (for the biere blanche, I presume). So send him flowers, SMSs, or old copies of "el jueves".
Some children nowadays do have the imagination still. For instance, the suffolk teenager who decided to make napalm and bring it into his chemistry class. According to bomb-disposal experts, it wasn't actually napalm, but something else, but they were not willing to specify (found the US's Homosexual Biological weapon maybe?).
Now one for those lonely men out there (you know who you are) the next thing in virtual girlfriends is here. Yes, you can start chatting up Vivienne, going out with her and play with her emotions, but that's all. No hanky panky is allowed (that is, until someone hacks the program and allows everything people really want her to do).
Next barmy science research award is given to the italian, who claims that by measuring the size and shape of a woman's breasts, he can tell what type of personality she has. No prizes for using a similar "study" to guess what type of car this guy drives (or for wondering quite what he has with his fruit fetish)...
For those in the US using breast milk (ok, not a huge percentage of my readers, I admit) a worrying discovery, that the main ingredient of rocket fuel has been found in said product. Maybe this is the start of the baby-on-mars space program...
The Simpsons has been translated into many languages, allowing as many viewers as possible to understand the series, but the latest episodes in Mexico might be a bit difficult to understand, as the speakers have gone on strike. Apparently, they wanted to use a non-certified "doh!" speaker...
At last, some of the German red-tape has been lifted, and this time in the theme of beer. Yes, at last a german beer doesn't have to taste the same as all the others to be called a "beer". Just wait til the chocolate and orange beers come...
Well, celebrate and be happy, I'm off to taste the new law...
Friday, February 25, 2005
Saturday, February 19, 2005
The best way to recuperate
First up, the Berlin Film Festival awards have been given, and the winner was a south african version of Carmen. The amazing thing about this film, is that the lyrics have been translated into Xhosa whilst the location has been changed to a small township in said country.
Who ever thought that a city law banning total nudity in public could be gotten around so easily, by just selling visitors a pad and pencil to make their own sketches of the naked ladies performing for them. Maybe the law was sponsored by an art studio...
In a great move (in my opinion) an independent swedish television station released an advert contrasting itself with the italian leader's monopoly of media, and stating that it's content would not be politically tainted like that in Italy. Of course, said leader wasn't at all pleased with these facts, but hey, if he wants to claim his stations aren't biased towards himself, let him try to prove it...
In New Zealand, a man protesting at his right to travel about in public naked, turned up to his court appearance in nothing but his birthday suit. He did put on some clothes before seeing the judge, however.
In an effort to reduce the amount of cockroaches (of which, apparently, the german one is the worst), scientists have found a way of reproducing sex pheromones normally released by the female, which can attract males from far away to it. Combining this with a deadly virus or pathogen, they hope the disease will spread and kill off not only the males who were originally attracted to it.
Researchers at Stanford University have shown that Dracula was not just a guy with a weird biting fetish, but that taking young blood does actually help to liven up the old body. Expect to see fizzy cans of it on your shelves soon...
A teacher in Florida was recently visited by local police after it surfaced that he was teaching students how to make bombs in the chemistry class, which led to one boy detonating an explosion on a local golf course. Of course, the other teachers should be taking note, as to get students actively involved in class takes some doing. Also, one can't help wondering to think what his classes in physics and biology would have been like...
Now with the Bush visit coming closer, the number of demonstrations is increasing daily (see this site) and the problems his presence is going to cause becomes more apparent. Not only is most of the old town completely closed off to people (those living there also having to leave) but most of the centre is also closed (see this map), and anyone wishing to work on this day has to give a good reason (apparently it's not enough that it's a normal working day, you have to have a special reason why you can't take this day off as one of your holidays!!).
So if on this day I was to be interviewed, and asked if I had a question for the president, I would proffer the following: What does he feel about the fact that his visit will force me to walk home from hospital after a knee operation, as no connecting transport will be running? Taxis will also not be allowed throughout the city, and due to the number of protestors, it will be impossible to get past the main station.
Not enough that I have to walk back, but now I'm running the risk of catching rabies whilst I'm there, after an organ donee recently died after being infected with the disease from the transplanted organ. Now I will sleep well...
Think of me...
First up, the Berlin Film Festival awards have been given, and the winner was a south african version of Carmen. The amazing thing about this film, is that the lyrics have been translated into Xhosa whilst the location has been changed to a small township in said country.
Who ever thought that a city law banning total nudity in public could be gotten around so easily, by just selling visitors a pad and pencil to make their own sketches of the naked ladies performing for them. Maybe the law was sponsored by an art studio...
In a great move (in my opinion) an independent swedish television station released an advert contrasting itself with the italian leader's monopoly of media, and stating that it's content would not be politically tainted like that in Italy. Of course, said leader wasn't at all pleased with these facts, but hey, if he wants to claim his stations aren't biased towards himself, let him try to prove it...
In New Zealand, a man protesting at his right to travel about in public naked, turned up to his court appearance in nothing but his birthday suit. He did put on some clothes before seeing the judge, however.
In an effort to reduce the amount of cockroaches (of which, apparently, the german one is the worst), scientists have found a way of reproducing sex pheromones normally released by the female, which can attract males from far away to it. Combining this with a deadly virus or pathogen, they hope the disease will spread and kill off not only the males who were originally attracted to it.
Researchers at Stanford University have shown that Dracula was not just a guy with a weird biting fetish, but that taking young blood does actually help to liven up the old body. Expect to see fizzy cans of it on your shelves soon...
A teacher in Florida was recently visited by local police after it surfaced that he was teaching students how to make bombs in the chemistry class, which led to one boy detonating an explosion on a local golf course. Of course, the other teachers should be taking note, as to get students actively involved in class takes some doing. Also, one can't help wondering to think what his classes in physics and biology would have been like...
Now with the Bush visit coming closer, the number of demonstrations is increasing daily (see this site) and the problems his presence is going to cause becomes more apparent. Not only is most of the old town completely closed off to people (those living there also having to leave) but most of the centre is also closed (see this map), and anyone wishing to work on this day has to give a good reason (apparently it's not enough that it's a normal working day, you have to have a special reason why you can't take this day off as one of your holidays!!).
So if on this day I was to be interviewed, and asked if I had a question for the president, I would proffer the following: What does he feel about the fact that his visit will force me to walk home from hospital after a knee operation, as no connecting transport will be running? Taxis will also not be allowed throughout the city, and due to the number of protestors, it will be impossible to get past the main station.
Not enough that I have to walk back, but now I'm running the risk of catching rabies whilst I'm there, after an organ donee recently died after being infected with the disease from the transplanted organ. Now I will sleep well...
Think of me...
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Pancakes and Roosters
So who forgot it was pancake day on tuesday? Well, I did. Which is surprising, considering the willingness I show to cooking them with my special brandy butter filling. Never mind, I'll just have to celebrate a late pancake day sometime soon.
Not a day before, Mainz found itself at fever pitch with the "carnival". Yes, whilst people danced to good rhythms with exotic costumes and lovely weather in Brazil and Barranquilla, here in Mainz everything took on a military/political apperance as soldiers marched through the streets to the sound of their drums. Along with all the drunkards lining the pavements, the mess of broken bottles and left over food, the transport system comes to a stop for 3 days during which it invariably snows and people start to realise that 5 hours standing outside at -5 degrees is probably not the healthiest of pastimes.
Following on from Ireland, New York and Italy's recent smoking bans, the home of the cigar, Cuba, also brought in powerful legislation banning the smoking in public places, and sale of tabacco near schools.
If you think the state of people's driving in Europe is getting worse, just lend a thought for those in the US. After a car was followed swerving all over the road, crashing into two different cars whilst trying to park in it's drive, and then reversing into the observing policeman's car, it was found that the driver of said vehicle was in fact a 4-year-old boy who had learnt to drive whilst sitting on his mother's lap...
Now for any of you who like to let it hang out in public (your underwear, I'm talking about) take care if going to the state of Virginia. After passing a new proposal (it still has to be ratified by the state senate) people who show too much in public will be fined around 50 dollars.
For all those men out there reading this (yes, this does even include you, Jordi :) take a look at this story about a woman who grabbed at her ex's pants, ripping them off, and with them one of his testicles. She then attemped to swallow it, choked and then spat it out on the floor. Makes you queasy just thinking about it...
Anybody hoping to be able to visit any of the 2006 world cup matches in Germany should better watch out, as all tickets are being fitted with RFID tags, and your identity will be checked with it's database on entering the stadium. If you are not the person who bought the ticket (eg someone gave it as a present, or was ill and passed it on to you to use) you wil not be allowed in. I suppose that's one way of reducing the number of people who will see Germany get knocked out after the first round...(biased, me?)
And finally, for those who went out and bought the much hyped MS Tablet PC, take heed of this new warning from the manufacturer, stating that it is advisable to reboot your machine every day...
Well, a happy new chinese rooster year to you all, may you find your gold (to do with the rooster, honest).
So who forgot it was pancake day on tuesday? Well, I did. Which is surprising, considering the willingness I show to cooking them with my special brandy butter filling. Never mind, I'll just have to celebrate a late pancake day sometime soon.
Not a day before, Mainz found itself at fever pitch with the "carnival". Yes, whilst people danced to good rhythms with exotic costumes and lovely weather in Brazil and Barranquilla, here in Mainz everything took on a military/political apperance as soldiers marched through the streets to the sound of their drums. Along with all the drunkards lining the pavements, the mess of broken bottles and left over food, the transport system comes to a stop for 3 days during which it invariably snows and people start to realise that 5 hours standing outside at -5 degrees is probably not the healthiest of pastimes.
Following on from Ireland, New York and Italy's recent smoking bans, the home of the cigar, Cuba, also brought in powerful legislation banning the smoking in public places, and sale of tabacco near schools.
If you think the state of people's driving in Europe is getting worse, just lend a thought for those in the US. After a car was followed swerving all over the road, crashing into two different cars whilst trying to park in it's drive, and then reversing into the observing policeman's car, it was found that the driver of said vehicle was in fact a 4-year-old boy who had learnt to drive whilst sitting on his mother's lap...
Now for any of you who like to let it hang out in public (your underwear, I'm talking about) take care if going to the state of Virginia. After passing a new proposal (it still has to be ratified by the state senate) people who show too much in public will be fined around 50 dollars.
For all those men out there reading this (yes, this does even include you, Jordi :) take a look at this story about a woman who grabbed at her ex's pants, ripping them off, and with them one of his testicles. She then attemped to swallow it, choked and then spat it out on the floor. Makes you queasy just thinking about it...
Anybody hoping to be able to visit any of the 2006 world cup matches in Germany should better watch out, as all tickets are being fitted with RFID tags, and your identity will be checked with it's database on entering the stadium. If you are not the person who bought the ticket (eg someone gave it as a present, or was ill and passed it on to you to use) you wil not be allowed in. I suppose that's one way of reducing the number of people who will see Germany get knocked out after the first round...(biased, me?)
And finally, for those who went out and bought the much hyped MS Tablet PC, take heed of this new warning from the manufacturer, stating that it is advisable to reboot your machine every day...
Well, a happy new chinese rooster year to you all, may you find your gold (to do with the rooster, honest).
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