Post-Christmas Round-Up

The turkey has been eaten, the wine bottles are all empty, now we're at that time of the year where nobody really knows what to do. Of course, this has not stopped marketing types coming up with the idea of bringing forward the January sales so that they actually start from Boxing Day. So if you're not out getting next year's Christmas presents right now (best time of the year) then sit back, relax and read through my selected news stories.

So you got an iPhone for Xmas. yippee. Bored already? Want to actually make it do something useful? Well try the iBoobs application. It had to come at some point. Watch the video and see what tilt mechanisms are really meant for.

Maybe you got that same old boring doll again. Never mind, you can give that away to a friend whilst you play with the next generation. Yes, these dolls let you feed them, and when it's time, the processed food comes out down below. Take too long, and you'll be buying the extra packs of nappies...Just what very girl wanted !

Scientists fed up with telling us the problems that drugs have on our brains have come up with a job on the side. Yes, they're now playing with bees, getting them hooked on cocaine, selling their bodies to scientist pimps and throwing up outside the local pubs. Ok, the last two things are maybe an exaggeration, but the addiction of bees is being studied in great detail.

How did technology help little kids this Christmas? This year they got to track Santa's journey around the world using online maps and webcams. The pictures of him taking a short cut were apparently just fakes...

And what better way in getting peace to spread in the middle east, than to give the warlords a big pile of Viagra tablets. Yes, as they'll keep on saying - Make love, not war...

So if you managed to survive the cholesterol mountain, and you need something to do, then you just have to call the A(fter Xmas sales) Team...

Wrap up those credit cards well...

Perfume with Fries, Singing Underwear, and Swiss Opening

You've heard of the J-Lo scent, but did you know that a new perfume in wowing the crowds on the streets of New York this Christmas? This one you'll never guess. It's from Burger King. Yes, not only are people being asked if they want fries with their meal, but whether they want to smell like that even when they have left the establishment. Next up will be the Fishmonger's, Cheese-maker's and maybe the Manure-spreader's varieties...

Looking for a present for some woman that has everything? Well how about some Syrian underwear that falls down when you clap your hands? Or ones that have fairy lights on them and play ringtones? Until recently little known outside of Syria, these pieces of clothing are now coming to light and are arousing interest (pardon the pun) outside of the country.

Switzerland, the neutral country there in the middle of Europe has opened up its borders to other European countries. Yes, in November of 2008 it joined the Schengen Agreement allowing free movement for people from other member states. The population are now waiting to see whether or not a negative impact of this change will come. At least border controls should be quicker...

And finally in the terrible episode of the decline of Zimbabwe, Mugabe has decided that the cholera epidemic that is currently killing many inhabitants is an attack from Great Britain. Yes, in a country where the inflation rate has gone off the scale, poverty is nationwide, and political opponents commonly disappear, one can only hope that he gets removed from his position as soon as possible, and allows all the innocent people of Zimbabwe to try and rescue their lives.

So, Christmas is coming, it's already cold, so get your mug of mulled wine, put on the Christmas pud, and snuggle up to the fire.

Just remember, a blog's not just for Christmas...

Every Second Counts, Remakes, Dangerous Kisses

Sometimes you just have to take advantage of what time you have. This year, thanks to certain scientists, you get an extra second to use as you wish. No strings attached. So when you are listening to the bells toll at midnight on New Year's Eve, then think about that final second - you get to celebrate it twice ! Use it wisely...

After having seen the Americans rehash, sorry remake, The Italian Job, it comes as no surprise that others are following suit too. I don't know why people can't just leave originals as they are, and keep the memories fond. This time it's Bollywood that's making it, and will include lots of song and dance. I doubt there will even be a bank heist...

Next time you pucker up, be very careful. A Chinese woman was left deaf after her boyfriend gave her a bit too strong of a kiss. The media warned soon afterwards of the dangers of excessive kissing, and doctors advised people to proceed with caution...

You here of cities trying to build taller buildings to break records, but this time a Chinese city has decided it wants to know down it's tallest ones in order to be considered as a Unesco site. All very well you might think, but the owners of said buildings hadn't heard anything about it until this report...

The new Airbus A380 is now getting complaints from it's pilots - that it's too quiet. Apparently they like the rumble of the engines to fall asleep and drown out the noise of the passengers nearby...

Amsterdam is cutting down the number of red light district windows, and "coffee shops". Apparently they want to get rid of organised crime, but keeping their most famous attractions.

The Japanese like their toilets. They have dynamic flush options, are able to measure your body-fat ratio, can be heated, and have a wash function like that of a bidet. Makes those public toilets outside the Rewe supermarket at Mainz HBf really look like holes in the ground.

The Max Planck Institute is somewhat of a serious name here in Germany. They do great scientific research, are well recognised and are one of the best known German brands. So how do they feel, now that they mistakenly put up an advertisement for hot young housewives in Chinese on the front cover of the research magazine? You would have thought, they would have found someone to check it thoroughly before it went to press...

Well, Lobelto had his birthday a while back, but hasn't been here in Mainz yet to celebrate. Apparently he's arriving today - but we'll believe that when we see it. Apart from that the snow's been falling on occasional days, but not as much down south around Stuttgart earlier in the week. It's still cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey.

Wrap up well, and get one of them gluehweins down ya...