News snippets you could live without

German companies are moving over to advanced security in the workplace now. When in meetings that are of a secretive nature, they put a biscuit tin in the middle of the table and participants place their mobiles into it. Of course there is some scientific backing to this, but in order to make sure you don't trust something that isn't secure, The Register has done a test and found out for you which biscuit tins will work. Read it here now...

In Australia, a man has come up with a great business idea that is bound to make a profit. The government is giving out tax credits for people that reduce the output of greenhouse gases. As there are many camels around the area, he reckon that by eliminating them would cause a huge reduction in gases due to the reduced methane from lack of camel wind. Novel is definitely a word for it...

3D printing is slowly becoming a reality, and what better way to first use it, than to start 'printing' of your first bikini set. Yes, the scientists have concentrated on the things close to their hearts and produced 3D printable bras too. Rumours that pressing a button on your mobile will automatically undo them, are as yet unfounded...

In the US, a man is trying to get out of a series of charges made against him including drunk driving, and speeding, as he is claiming he was at the time having intimate relations (my words, not his) in the back seat at the time. Just how one can drive at that speed whilst under the influence and being busy in the back of a car has yet to be understood, but I'm sure it'd make the Guinness Book of Records...

And if you were appalled about the guy that sold his internal organs in order to get an iPad2, then you might find the latest financing attempt of a like mind. A young lady from China decided to auction off her first time to someone that would get her the latest iPhone. Apparently after finally getting the deed done she went to the store to find out there were no white ones left in stock...

So sit back and dream of the time when such stupidities did not exist, and people would sell off their sticks to have the latest fire-maker...

Jericho Street Fair and Communication Problems

On 11th June in Jericho, Oxford, the annual Jericho Street Fair took place.
Well, apparently this is the case. Getting there at 7pm there were just two tents up. One housing the band, and one the beer. I suppose it was a very efficient setup. Food stalls were also sparse, with a few lonely sausages on show at the Big Bang stand, and the scraps of leftovers of Asian food.

The music kept the crowd happy, and the beer was refreshing, but something was lacking.
That's when I heard the voice of Alessio (ok, he was calling my name) who had also turned up. We then headed off to the Gardener's Arms, where a hearty meal and a drink were consumed. So all in all it was worth the exploratory trip.

Waiting at the gate to depart from Heathrow knowing that the flight was already running late, I was looking out over a lovely sunny blue sky to be told over tannoy "We currently have another hour of delay. This is due to weather". It wasn't just me who looked out of the window with a frown on our faces. In a later announcement it was added "due to the weather in Frankfurt", which I duly checked on my phone to see that it was dry there too. After a good hour and a half we finally boarded and were underway, to be told by the captain that the delay was actually due to some work on the airport tower they had just finished, and apparently the staff weren't trained yet how to use it. Apart from the training part, the thing that really got me, was the fact that the communication was so bad that they each told us different stories.

Well, the bad weather did start this morning in Mainz, so maybe they were just 12 hours early with their forecast the night before...

Off tonight to casa del lobelto for a surprise dinner of je ne sais quoit. Let's hope the heavens don't break...

Wantage Wedding and Ali's German Vegetable Escape

Before the month of May was out, I had to venture back to Mainz. Despite the long hours in the office, a few hours were enjoyed each night with various friends: Carlitos, Ali, Diani and Jan.

The main event of this month has to be the italo-anglican wedding between Hannah and Diego on June 2nd. The celebrations were accompanied by the afropean choir, as well as some musical talent shown by the bride and groom themselves. Now off on their honeymoon, they are missing the miserable weather we are currently experiencing, which is very nicely planned on their part.

Germany has caused a bit of a furore by blaming an outbreak of E.coli on Spanish cucumbers. Straight away they banned Spanish vegetables, but apparently without any actual proof. After causing huge amount of suffering to the farmers in Spain it was announced that in fact they could have been mistaken, that it might actually have come from a bean sprout farm just south of Hamburg. So nothing like pointing the finger first and then actually trying to find the truth...

In fact, they still don't know for sure the real biological cause, but are merely following the pattern of the outbreak. I wonder whether the EU, EC or whatever body feels responsible here are actually going to act on this blatant shift of blame, to another country's detriment?
What if it was found that German cars caused large radiation doses in all passengers? With the same amount of investigation (all people with high radiation doses had ridden once in a German made automobile) maybe then they will feel the other end of lousy research and despicable marketing.

So, in order to escape the ban on vegetables, Ali came over to visit us again in Oxford. Unfortunately the weather didn't hold up for the trip to London and was a little wet, but visiting the food festival in Reading was nice and bright. Hopefully she left with some good memories too. Next time we can see more dinosaurs...

Enjoy your meat...

Flying History

Don't worry, I am not planning on giving you a long-winded story on the history of flying from the Wright brothers to the Space shuttle, although I might keep that for later on :)

A couple of weekends ago the Abingdon Air and Country Show took place. There must have been a good few thousand visitors there, with many stands selling home made marmalade, chutney, cider, as well as games to play. Of course, the main attraction was in the air. Paratroopers, biplanes, trainers and gliders were all present, but the thing everybody wanted to see was of course the Vulcan. This is the last flying one around, yet is still able to impress. It's silence and near invisibility whilst coming towards you turns into a rip-roaring ringing of your ears as it speeds away overhead. Definitely something to be experienced !

The weekend after it was time for Hannah and Diego to celebrate before they tie the knot. So appropriately there was a Han-do for the girls and a stag-do for the boys (+Nina). Great fun was had by all involved, with few people waking up early the next morning...

This weekend saw a surprise visit from Will who was up in Oxford on Saturday. A brief visit to the Turf Tavern was duly rewarded with thirst-quenching beverages. Last time this place was visited was at new year with Luigi, Roberto and Ali. Unfortunately it was closed then. I can confirm that it is as good as it looked though :)

Well, the weather isn't quite sure what it's doing, with very gusty winds shooting the clouds across the skies. When the sun becomes unhidden though the temperature goes up dramatically. Let's hope the icelandic volcano eruption doesn't combine with these winds though - could become unpredictable.

So, keep your hat on...

Wallingford Walks, Oxford Colleges, Cambridge Duke & Duchess

With Maria over here visiting us, a few touristy things were in order. In Oxford, a few colleges were actually open and so we took the chance to go around them. Merton provided us with some interesting quads, whereas Lincoln will be remembered for being completely green (and that's not just the lawns).

A day trip to Wallingford was also organised (Agatha Christie area). Although we didn't see any murder mysteries going on, we did have a lovely walk around the old castle gardens and meadows (you probably saw the photos on the right hand side of the page) before getting the bus back to Oxford.

The Royal Wedding on April 29th 2011 was not seen in London by us. Not too keen on the 4am start people were having to make to be able to share a push and shove with other people trying to get a photo. We did set up the TV to record the whole day (just in case), but decided to head off to Blenheim Palace for their big screen showing on their south lawn, picnicking with the other families, cheering and waving flags. They also had a jousting competition and some falconry, which was great after the main event had finished with "I do".

All in all, a very busy weekend, and the weather held out marvelously for it...

Royal Wedding and Birthday Celebrations

There might be a little fuss going on around here at the moment. Something to do with a royal wedding maybe? Basically you can't switch on the TV, radio, open a paper or go into a shop without coming into contact with this royal event. So where are you going to be for it? At a street party? In London outside the palace? Glued to the front of the TV with the other 2 billion people? Why not let me know through the new poll on this subject...

Today is he day before the wedding, but is just as important (if not more so). It's Olga's birthday ! Yes, not mentioning her age, but she celebrates a new year today and we hope to celebrate it accordingly later on when she gets back from work. Happy Birthday !! :)

So, a bit of a short post today as also need to prepare for Maria's visit, and still need to clean the place...

Statistics is not all boring maths

...it can be physics too :)

So, I thought you might like to hear a bit about who's been visiting this site, and what they're doing on it.

First off comments. These are the things you can leave at the bottom of the posts to express your opinion. It seems there have only been 3 comments so far, done by two different people. So now you know how they work, why not go ahead and say something (nothing obnoxious though please).

Next to the button for posting comments, there are icons for emailing the post to someone, tweeting it to your followers, or posting it on your wall in facebook. So why not give it a go and help spread the word, you can look all Web2.0ey as well and impress your peers.

The polls don't seem to be going down too well, only a couple of participants over the last 4 polls makes me wonder if it's worthwhile continuing with them. So how about writing a comment below to tell me if you want them kept?

Since moving over to the new site (back in August 2010) we have been having more visitors nearly every month. In fact, April has the highest hits yet!

Regarding the most popular posts, currently one from 2009 has the most hits (I'm not going to say which one, as I prefer you to visit the new ones). All the later ones have actually a quite low amount of visits, although this might be because until now, the links that I posted were to the site in general and not to specific post.

Referral sites have google doing it's bit at the top, followed by facebook, then nbgecko, stupidforce, anathemaesto, nuestrobarcodecolegas and lajirafitarayada. Thanks for your support!

The majority of you seem to be using Firefox now with IE reducing each month. Mobile browsers are also being used more frequently. Windows is installed on just over 60% of visitor's computers, although linux variants are gaining.

This month the UK is top of the country list, with Germany, USA, Russia, Belgium (thanks Jordi), Netherlands (must be Bas), Spain, Colombia, Latvia, Georgia, Ukraine, Singapore, Cambodia and Iran (?).

So from all these statistics I can tell that me readership is so out of the ordinary, that there's no typical reader !

Circolombia, Persian Paddington, Midnight Tango

With no visitors around last weekend, we went out to The Roundhouse in Camden to see an amazing production from Circolombia called Urban. The stunts were stunning, and the show is really worth visiting if you get a chance, the performers taking part being disadvantaged young people from Colombia.

Whilst in London we wanted an early dinner before catching the train back to Oxford. It was news to me that around Paddington there are a lot of Persian restaurants and shops, but not one to shy from new experiences, we entered an Iraqi, Persian and Kurdish restaurant called Valentino. We can definitely recommend many of these dishes. We tried the mixed starters, which really were tasty, and for mains tried the meat platter, lamb shanks, spinach stew and mixed pulses stew. We were definitely well fed at this chance visit, and will return.

After taking Tango lessons back in Mainz last year, we were missing it a bit. So when we heard that a show was coming to Oxford based on this dance and with a storyline, we thought we better give it a try. so off we went to see Midnight Tango. We were probably the only ones not knowing who Flavia was (UK TV didn't really make it over to Germany) but that didn't matter. Most of the tunes we had heard and danced to were played here, and the variety of dancing on the stage really was spectacular. What a way to get back into the spirit, now let's google tango courses in oxford...

What a cultural time !

London Tour #1

Is far from the first tour I've done around London, but it is the first one I've decided to write down for other people to try out, so here goes:

Time Needed:: 1/2 Day
Best Time to Start: 11am
Weather Required: Dry, sunshine best
Starting Point: Covent Garden Tube Station
Tickets Required: Zones 1 & 2

When arriving at Covent Garden Tube Station by tube, make your way up the 193 steps to street level (be aware this is not for the faint hearted).
Exit to the right and head down to Covent Garden Covered Market.
Here you can enjoy the architecture of the market (both inside and out), watch solo artists perform inside (this time there was an opera singer) as well as outside (jugglers, magicians), see great food dishes being prepared (two huge paellas were being cooked) and wander around the different stalls and shops.

Once hunger is no longer ignorable, make your way back up towards Covent Garden Tube Station, but turn right at the road before you get there. You will see the Bridge of Aspiration twirling across the road linking the two buildings together. Head underneath this, past the Ballet school, and on your left will be The Masala Zone. Have lunch at this great Indian restaurant (try the Thali plate of assorted flavours) to get back your stamina for the next part of the tour.

Now head back to the tube station you arrived at. If you are feeling up to it, take the stairs going down (be warned, this is more strenuous on the back of your legs than climbing up them), Go down on the piccadilly line (the purple one) towards Heathrow Airport and get off at Green Park. Here you need to change onto the jubilee line, towards Stratford/Greenwich. Get off at Canary Wharf.

Canary Wharf is a very modern area of the London Docks, with high glass buildings housing some of the country's most influential financial institutions. You need to head along the road following the signs for the DLR (Docklands Light Railway).

Go up to the platform for the DLR going towards Lewisham/Greenwich. Get in the back of the train if there are spare seats (there is no driver), as the train will leave the way it entered.
Traveling higher than street level is great for looking around this area, especially with the sun reflecting off the buildings and water. Leave the train at Island Gardens and walk towards the river. Here you have a lovely view across the Thames to Greenwich (pronounced Grenich) on the other side.

Now go into the circular building and go down the stairs into the tunnel (not as many stairs as Covent Garden tube). Walking along the tunnel just think of the amount of water flowing above you with a few feet of solid concrete and metal between you...

When you get out at the other side, you are in Greenwich. Follow the road, and the signs, into the town centre and towards the observatory. When you reach the entrance to the park, walk along the right hand path enjoying the green grass and the people relaxing. You will see a steep incline on the right hand side, which you should go up. Once you reach the top, you deserve a sit down on one of the benches overlooking the town. From here you can see the Millenium Dome, the town of Greenwich, and in the distance Canary Wharf.

Once you've relaxed a little, go down the path you just came up, and follow the path to the right to go up the other hill (it has steps). At the top of here you will find the Greenwich Observatory, which is where the GMT line can be found (look through the railings if you don't want to enter).

Once you've maybe looked around the observatory, head back down through the park to the gates that you arrived at. Now is the time to make up for those walks, and head into one of the pubs for a local ale, and maybe a bite to eat.

Once you have finished, you can get the DLR to Canary Wharf (straight from Greenwich, no need to walk under the tunnel again - sorry, did I forget to mention that?), and the tube to where you want to carry on to.

Scannable Zebras, Controversial Stamps, The Germans Are Coming

Finally, what life has been lacking since the invention of the barcode scanner has become reality. Yes, you can now find the price of zebras (or verify it's the same one) as scientists in Chicago and Princeton have developed a zebra scanner !

You can get a tea-towel, mug, t-shirt, and of course, stamps to celebrate the upcoming Royal Wedding. However, what you might not have been expecting were the New Zealand stamps that allow you to tear Kate and William apart. Not the most diplomatic of moves...

The weekend also saw Christiane come over and visit. Walking around Oxford, visiting Magdalen College (pronounced maudlin), topping up at the old sweet shop, and of course, having lunch at Jamie's. The weather also played along with some nice sun and reasonable temperatures. A trip was also made to London, details of which will follow in my forthcoming London Trips guide. All in all, a great weekend !

Of course, you can see the photos from these trips over on the right hand side of this blog, where you can confirm the good weather yourself :)

Sit back, relax and listen

It has come to my attention through one of the few comments left behind by visitors to this site, that since the change of style, content and location, some of you were actually hoping for a more comparative study of the differences between living in Oxford and living in Mainz (thanks, Carlitos).

One reason this has been left out so far, is the fact that I am not exactly unbiased, and wouldn't want to offend too many people. But then again, since when has that stopped me?

So without further ado, I will include a couple of comparisons, and try to keep them in the future posts.

First up, Sundays. In Mainz these mostly consisted of walking down to the river and then walking back, as long as the weather was good. Otherwise they would be spent at home wondering when the rain was going to stop. Here the forgotten shopping gets done at the supermarket, cycle trips to local villages for a pub lunch, trips into Oxford to see the current festivals (this weekend is the chocolate festival and the Oxford Literary Festival), and we haven't even ventured over to the river yet...

Another comparison would be the food. I know that lots of people have pretty bad ideas of English cuisine, whether through the school exchange family only feeding them fast food, or the many articles (Daily Mail-esque) and TV programmes showing some dysfunctional family feeding their kids burgers, frozen fries and ketchup (Jamie Oliver is of course doing a good job of changing the TV-watcher's impression of English food). Of course there are people that do live like this, but that is the case in any country, and if you don't move in those circles, you won't experience that here either.

So what does one typically do for food over here? Well, typically is a difficult concept. Meat is a popular foodstuff bought at the butchers or local supermarket. And unlike Germany's choices of pork and chicken, we have a huge selection of beef and lamb too. It's not just the selection, but the quality as well. Last weekend I spoke to a lady from Spain who was selling tapas, and her husband who was from Germany and grilling meat, and they both said that they were amazed by the quality of the meat over here. The husband was astounded to see the cows moving freely in an open field, get slaughtered and the meat packed up for the supermarkets whilst it is still warm. As opposed to the cows being stuck in cages and it being days before their meat is actually shipped off to anywhere to be packed, which he was used to back home.

Of course I could go on for ages on the food subject, but I think this might start to bore you, my beloved reader. So maybe I should just give some examples of what we have eaten, and where we have been (it's not all pork and potatoes here...).

If you're not convinced, photos will surely follow...

Moving along

What a week! Seeing The Canterbury Tales at the local theatre (very amusing), cycling around Yarnton (keeping fit), and enjoying the sunshine. It definitely looks like summer is on it's way...

From an administrative view, I have taken the time limits off the polls on the right of this blog, so that if you didn't happen to read it within a week of being published (why not?) you can still cast your vote ! They now default to a whole year.

Also you will see the ability to follow new posts by email, just fill in your email address and let the blog come to you.

A new section has also been created to keep you up to date on mobile apps of interest. At the moment they link to the owner's own page, but in time they will point to my reviews of the one's I have installed and tried out.

And for those of you wanting to know how many other people have been viewing this site recently, there is now a number and small graphic depicting the number of visitors over the last 7 days.

Monday saw a surprise visit from Martin and Sybille as they decided to go for a quick trip from Wuerzburg to London via Oxford. It was great to catch up with them after so long and to hear their amazing news. Now for the preparations...

This weekend sees Broad Street taken up with the chocolate festival, which should be great for lent...

Last but not least, who could forget that today is Diego's birthday ! Why not go onto facebook and send him your wishes.

Stop counting those calories...

Flatulant Dentists, Takeaway Jobs Ban and Gardening Vice

Straight onto the news today. A dentist has been reprimanded after coworkers and patients complaining about him breaking wind. Apparently he found liked to do it whilst his employees were on lunch break. Although the case is being judged by the medical council, I think it might be an interesting prospect if he was put in a cell for a few days. I'm sure his habit would stop pretty quickly then...

According to our friend Hugo (not Victor, Chavez), capitalism killed the martians. Yes, he must have kept hidden some compelling evidence to come up with that one. Maybe it's stored in the same place as the proof that the big bang was a western attempt at taking over Venezuela?

In a blow to cheap takeaways filling up our streets, the government has prohibited migrants from outside the EEA coming to the UK in order to work in takeaways. Yes, no longer will the server of your kebab or vindaloo be a person of non-EEA descent, just the food itself...

On that same theme, police are looking for an 18kg stick of kebab meat that was stolen from a takeaway in Trowbridge. If you see someone walking around the city with a huge piece of meat under their clothes, you might be sensible not to get too close, especially when it starts defrosting...

Visitors to Hamburg will soon be able to travel directly from the Garden Show grounds to the Reeperbahn via cable car if plans go ahead. No longer will you be forced to wander around watching meaningless flowers all day, but hop on to the cable car telling your wife you'll meet up with her in a couple of hours...

On a sad note, the BBC Caribbean radio service has been stopped due to funding cuts. Let's hope someone high up realises the effect this will have on independent news service in this region, and will relaunch it soon.

If you thought that the defense cuts that took place in the UK were a good way of saving money, you might want to read this article which discusses the role of the UK military in Libya, and the effects the choices in the cuts have meant to our ability to play any military role in the future. Seems a pretty compelling point of view...

And if you are filling in your census forms on the 27th March, before you have fun writing down Jedi as your religion etc, you might want to pause for a moment over the words "your data is protected for 100 years". This used to be the case, indeed the data from the census 100 years ago is now available for perusal. But, there was not a labour government around then who was whittling away all privacy of the population. Laws that came into effect after the previous labour government lost the election, and before the new coalition came in, mean that although your data COULD be kept private for 100 years, it is not guaranteed to be so. In fact, the list of the people who can use and pass on this data is nearly as astounding as how little chance you have to know what has been passed o to whom. Hopefully someone in this government is listening and wants to take up the case to reverse some of these privacy-stealing laws...

Now where is my Guy Fawkes mask?...

When the Cure is worse than the Problem

As men get older, they start to worry about losing their hair (especially it seems, if they are of Valencian descent). Many resort to medical treatments to try and get that fluffy stuff back up on the coconut, sometimes with success. However it has now been claimed that the chemicals used for these treatments have actually been found to cause the user to become impotent. Yes, before you spray, maybe it's worth considering the consequences fully...

Ever wonder why some languages have held on, despite all the odds, then an interesting piece of research has been published, claiming there is a mathematical formula to work out if a language will survive living alongside another more prominent one. Maybe that will make the welsh feel safe again...

Now for those of you who are fans of Jamie Oliver. On his website he is currently offering free recipe books in return for filling in a short survey. Go on, tell him what you think !

Another great saver for those of you with Thames Water. They are currently giving away some fancy shower heads, plus other water saving devices. Just fill in your details here and you'll be sent them through the post. No cheaper way to save money...

Despite only one entry in the last poll, I persevere and have made a few changes to the site to hopefully make it more appealing to you. Gone is the Google AdWords bar, as well as the Amazon search widgets. Nobody was using them, so I presume nobody will miss them. The polls were becoming a bit difficult to read in a half-width column, so I have now made them full-width. Hope you approve.

Talking of polls, this week's is asking whether there should be a section to list the current special offers I think you will be interested in? At the moment they have mentioned in the blog posts individually, but if you skim-read (why? surely the content is worth reading in it's entirety?) you might not have realised that you could be saving money, receiving free things, or having a cheap holiday. As a taster I will put it in already, and you can let me know what you think (more detailed feedback can always be written in a comment).

Get voting !

Murcian Visits, Palacial Deals, and Thrice Uncle

Last weekend saw murcian Ali come and visit us in Oxford. We had a full program organised, so no sooner had she got off the bus, we set off to Bicester Village, the famous high class shopping outlets. Of course despite the 70% discounts, many of the products are still in a league of their own. No sooner had we found a good selection of jackets for Ali, than the price tags of over 400 pounds came into view. But it makes for a great excursion if you leave your credit card at home.

A cup-cake fair for neighbour Kate's London Marathon run to raise money for St. John Ambulance was also supported, coming away with a box selection of them for later :)

A trip down to London was also in order, meeting up with Andres and heading off for Camden Town. Despite it being a Sunday, this place was heaving, as always, and it really made for a lively atmosphere whilst wandering around the markets. We didn't find the Arepa&Co stall, but were filled up with the huge plates of Chinese food that were mixed for us. We made our way through the clothes, food and chucherias, and headed back towards the City. Buckingham Palace was passed, as well as a leisurely walk through the park until we got to Westminster to take a look at the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben's tower (we didn't visit Little Ben) and then went off to Chinatown via Leicester Square, stopping for a cup of tea and piece of cake. Wow, what a full day that was!

The sun came out on Monday, which is why it was perfect for a visit to Woodstock (England, not the festival in the US). After a filling late lunch at one of the local pubs we visited Blenheim Palace (where, incidentally, they currently give you a free annual pass when you buy an entry ticket). The history of Sir Winston Churchill, plus of the palace itself makes for a very entertaining tour of the building. Of course the grounds are also quite amazing, so we'll be using that annual pass to have a picnic in the summer.

There have of course been many birthdays in between posts, including those of Jordi, Lourdes, and Javi. Felicidades to you all !

And to top off the week, it seems I have become an uncle for the third time. Welcome to the world, Mary-Jane !

The Non-Carnival Planner

In Barranquilla they're singing curramba whilst dancing in the sun, in Mainz they're shouting Helau! whilst marching through the streets, and here we're not doing anything of the sort. Yes, londoners like to celebrate carnival too, but aren't as mad as the Rhinelanders, and decide to celebrate in August when it's nice and hot (relatively speaking).

Further to the mention in my last post about the breast milk ice cream, it appears the police have now stopped the sale of these products pending further investigation.

The Panama Canal took a long time to build, many were killed through disease whilst building, and everything that could have gone wrong did. But now there might be an alternative in the pipeline. Colombia is apparently in talks with China to build an alternative passage from the Pacific to the Atlantic. It will be interesting to see how the planning comes along, and if as many problems occur. Let's just hope it doesn't have as many leaks as the Yangtse Dam did when it was finished...

And this week a call goes out to Carlitos who is off visiting Luigi in Paris. Let the Louvre be warned...

On a final note, you have just 12 hours to vote in the latest poll on this page...

The alternative side of the news

It's hard to read or see anything different on the news as so much space and time is being taken up by revolutions, protests, and meerkats selling car insurance. Right, I thought, now it's time for me to publish some more of my really important alternative news stories of the week.

First up is Watson. No, not Sherlock's great sidekick, but rather a special supercomputer from IBM that has just finished beating the best contestants at the American game show Jeopardy. Yes, this machine was so clever at finding the correct answers (or questions) that it will probably be spending the rest of its life relaxing on some desert island with the winnings it made.

Talking about science, the Royal Society has published its annual report and said that there aren't enough schoolchildren studying scientific A-Level subjects, and the ones that do aren't helped by the lack of motivated teachers. This is leading to a never-ending spiral of film-studies and 14th century badminton rackets students . Okay, maybe their aren't that many types badminton rackets in the 14th century, but there definitely weren't any fast food burger joints offering degrees then either.

On a royal note, anything planned for the must-be-seen-at wedding in April this year? Well, for want of something unusual to write home about, why not visit Abingdon. This city will be having a bun fight in celebration of the occasion, catapulting thousands of currant buns from the rooftop of their city hall to the crowds gathered below. Just make sure you're wearing a hard hat in case they have had to bake them weeks in advance...

Not quite such a seamless link to this next story, but if you venture down to Covent Garden in the near future, you might get a shock when ordering an ice-cream. A parlour has started selling their deserts made from human breast milk rather than cow's. If tasting something which you haven't tried since you were born is not for you, you can always give some yourself. They pay for your milk in order to keep their ice-cream business up and running...

Remember the Russian spy caught in the US last year? Ever wondered what people get up to after being unveiled? Well, apparently they get employed to design the space suits for the next cosmonauts...

Other interesting news coming from that scientific centre in the East: Just under a third of Russians interviewed believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth. Yes, no riding on back of turtles or being flat for them. In addition, the majority said that all radioactivity is man-made, and 29% said that humans fought the dinosaurs for control of planet earth.

Animals sometimes seem so close to us humans though. Take monkeys. Some women would argue that most men are still closely related to these mammals. A further explanation has recently arisen, in that they have been found to wash themselves with their own urine. Before the females amongst you start saying "I told you so", the reason cited for this behaviour is that it makes them more attractive to the female monkeys. What does that say about you now? :)

If you decide to go off to the cinema to try and forget about that last piece of news, then be careful with your manners. In Latvia a viewer was shot dead after eating his popcorn too loudly. The rumours that this happened during the erotic parts of the Black Swan are as yet unconfirmed.

On a food note, the EU has given the humble Cornish Pasty a protected status just like Champagne, Parma Ham, and Stilton Cheese. So next time you go out to buy one, check it has the correct authenticity.

For those of you of an inventive nature, you'll be pleased to find out that something sought by thousands of students has finally been invented. Yes, a cocktail-dispensing-slot-machine. Play this one armed bandit and be rewarded with non-historic concoctions like a Long Island Beach or a Green Virgin Slammer...

And finally to something personal. As the last poll attracted a grand total of one participant, I think you've had enough of being asked what to do with this site. So I will make the changes from a democratic-dictatorship position and stop pestering you.

What about Mainz, you might ask? What's different about Oxford? Well, currently it's a lot milder here and we haven't seen snow since early Jan, whereas I have been reliably informed that there was some of that white stuff over in the Rhineland just last week. Being able to compare the Irish pubs is another major thing. Here you get the usual great Irish beers, as well as a couple of English ones too. Bu there is no fast-food ordering service from the place next door. No, sir. Here they cook you a lovely Irish Stew, or Steak and Guiness Pie, all served with the seasonal vegetables, just to make sure you have something healthy too. Has that whet your appetite yet Carlitos?? :)

Oscars tonight - better get the sparkling wine out...

The Results Are In

Tunisia might have fallen, Egypt might be on the brink, and many other countries might be shaking in their boots, but here in this little corner of the cyberworld democracy has prevailed. Yes, the votes have been cast, the numbers counted, and the bribes ignored. I am therefore pleased to announce that this blog will be updated more often on a weekly basis. The fact that 3 voters consumed but did not inhale also pleases me.

So as promised I will unveil a bit of what's been happening recently. Christmas 2010 was spent in Wiesbaden, being Julianna's first celebration of this type we were allowed to enjoy it with her, her parents (Mark and Friedi), Christiane and the rest of the family. Snow was above the knee, cars were getting stuck, but it really was a great white Christmas, the like of which not seen for many years. Some photos of this event can be found here.

A trip up north was also on the cards the week before Xmas to see Doug, Gem, Dominic, Mia-Rose and bump. This was when the big snows had just started, but luckily we were not too badly affected. Some of the pictures can be seen here (including Olga enjoying the snow...).

New Year was spent here in Oxford with the lovely company of Ali, Luigi and Roberto. Typical tourist things took place like getting on the open top double decker bus to tour around the city (that was cold), visiting a good few traditional pubs, and some traditional British food for new year (yes, we did Indian). To check out some of the sights you could come and visit us, or just look at the photos here.

January also saw some familiar faces with cousin Jonathan and Sally being over here from Australia, and using that as an excuse to meet up with them, Juliette, Arnaud and Mariette, Clive and Wend. A great Spanish meal was had by all, although I think more time was spent catching up than actually eating...

And does Harald still appear in Neighbours? Apparently not (although his photo is still on the website), but Lou Carpenter, Paul Robinson, Karl Kennedy, Toadfish, and the lovely Libby are still there. Of course, it's never going to be the same without Charlene (aka Kylie Minogue).

I see that the the number of visitors has been going up steadily (not sure if it's because of my improving writing style, or just people are starting to wake up after a new year stuper). Thanks for that :)

You will also notice that on the right hand side of this page there are a couple of boxes from Amazon (one for UK, the other for Germany) and a Google ad column further down. These are little ways in helping to finance this site when people order anything through these links. However, according to my statistics, nobody actually uses them. So this leads to the next quiz: What would you prefer to have appear on the right of this site?
Maybe you like the idea of being able to buy via Amazon straight from this site, maybe you find some of the adverts from Google interesting, or maybe you want a list of great offers and links carefully picked by yours truly? Cast your vote and let me know !

One last thing before I let you get back to your Sunday papers: There is actually a button below each post allowing you to write your comments, post to facebook, tweet and email. Please use them! Nothing like getting the word out :)

Change is in the air

Winter might seem to be on the way out, letting spring into 2011, but that's not the only change that has happened. In fact, the other change has been the main culprit which has stopped posts being published on this blog.

If you hadn't noticed the change of heading, then maybe you should just give up now. Yes, This blogger has pulled up his roots, slung them over his shoulder and left on a mule. Well, sort of. After a good many years writing from the German city of Mainz, the wind has changed and posts will now be written from the wonderful city of Oxford, Great Britain.
If you think this might affect my writing style, then you might be correct. But it couldn't get much worse now, could it?

And in the chaos of the move, the new life, culture and bureaucracy, a new leaf will be turned, democracy fulfilled and some people sighing relief. Yes, YOU get to decide!
First decision you can influence is how often updates to this blog should be written? I know it's not the most frequently written page, and that most of you have probably given up (website analytics tell me it's about a tenth of what it used to be in it's heyday back in 2001), but maybe you don't have time to read it every day anyway. In fact, maybe you just subscribe to the RSS feed and don't visit the page at all. So in the interests of information gathering I have created two polls for you just over on the right hand side of the page. Please fill them in with your feedback, you have a week to show there is more than the three people that answered in the last two polls...

So what happened at Christmas 2010? How was the New Year 2011 celebrated? And is Harold still in neighbours? All this and more in the next post, coming to you...when you decide ! (a bit like on-demand viewing but fewer buttons).

Cast your votes !

Paella, Pa'ella, Pa'mi

First up, Lobelto now has a place in Mainz! Yes, he couldn't have chosen a better place except if it came with a ladyfriend included. So by the end of the month we should be seeing a lot more of him...

Saturday saw the latest Seacava Paella. This time cooked and organised by Ali and Mamen. Without wanting to put down the retired paella maker (Carlitos), it tasted great. Despite the slightly late start, the assembled group ate and ate, and drank and drank until there were only a few doggy bags to take home for the next day's dinner. After this filling meal, a trip to Haddocks was undertaken, where it ended at 2am with Lobelto asleep in the corner and a lot of burros playing cards. Pity that the following day had to be spent washing all the clothes as a table of guests saw fit to flout the no-smoking laws during our time there.

On another note, it looks like Jordi (yes, of 2000/01 fame) has been given a job in Brussels now where he will be doing what he does best. Good luck !

And now for something different - news related. What with Angela Merkel admitting that the German method of integration of foreigners has been a disaster, how do you feel? Go on, have a go. Hopefully more than the previous 3 will respond...

Licensed to Live

This last week has seen Olga complete her studies as a psychologist, and Rafa graduate as an electrical engineer. So if you have problems with your life or mind, see the former, and if you have problems with your TV or the computer see the latter.

You might have noticed an addition to the right hand side of this blog. Yes, the polls are back, asking you those relevant and important questions on life. So go on, give it a go!

Website Fun, Dirty Pavements and Bottle Deposits

Nowadays everyone has a website, they are so easy to create. There are few companies that don't have some form of online presence, and most allow you to order their products or services directly. I like to call this user interaction. Well Hema (a dutch department store) brings this interactivity to a new dimension with their e-store here: http://producten.hema.nl/. This is going back to the roots of website building - for fun and enjoyment. Well done to the person that programmed that, and to the company for letting it go past prototype stage!

Now people say that we Brits are dog lovers. This is probably true, but I am sure that the Germans give us a run for our money. I remember when I first came over here to Mainz. I was walking along when I saw a mother with a young child in a pushchair and a dog on a leash. She stopped at the entrance of a supermarket, and to my astonishment, she tied up the pushchair to a lamppost and took the dog on the leash into the store with her. That's something that can only happen here.
Dogs can go anywhere. They are regularly taken into restaurants, supermarkets, swimming pools, which personally I don't find all that appealing. It will be of no surprise then, that I often come across a pile of dog turd in the street. Yes, there is a law forbidding them to leave a mess without the owner cleaning up, but with so many dogs about, how are you going to stop them all?
So the other day I was walking across the city and started to count how many different piles of poo I had to avoid. On this half hour walk which I repeat most days, I counted no less than 9 different dollops. This is getting ridiculous! Of course the reason why I decided to write about it now was that earlier this week, whilst carefully avoiding one steaming mess I accidentally trod in another. Next time I see a dog even bending it's leg in preparation for a squat, I am going to get out my camera and make sure a big flash goes off. Maybe some owners will learn to take control...

Talking of cameras, I am seriously considering having one permanently to hand whilst crossing zebra crossings in this city. At least twice a week I ma nearly hit because cars like to race across them rather than stop for pedestrians. Legally they have to stop as soon as my foot treads on the crossing, but in Mainz they like to speed up and keep driving across, despite being mere centimeters away from me. So be warned - next time I will have my camera to hand and there will be a nice clear photo being sent to the local police station.

So the UK is currently considering putting deposits on bottles of drink, like they did about 40 years ago. This of course is nothing new to the people of Germany who have had deposits on drinks bottles for as long as I cam remember. Although I have to admit they have changed the law a good many times as to which types of bottles have which type of deposit, and whether you have to take them back to the very same store you bought them from, with your receipt and a token (luckily that is no more).
But back to the UK. The main reason being touted for deposits being necessary, is that it would reduce the amount of litter on the streets. I don't have the statistics for the percentage of litter being made up of bottles, but I would hazard a guess at maybe 5% from what I personally remember seeing.
Now jump to Germany again. Asking a few locals gives differing answers with respect to if it helped the littering problem. Some say that it did, and there's less broken glass on the streets now (although if this were true, the streets must have been paved with glass before, as I still have to avoid at least 3 broken bottles on my daily walk - maybe I should do a proper count like with the dog turds). Others say that now instead of a few bottles on the ground, there a re many more vagrants combing the bins around the city, looking for any spare bottles. They will habitually empty out a bin whilst getting to glass container at the very bottom, which of course might mean that there's less glass on the street as a percentage of litter, but the amount of litter on the street has gone up considerably.
So I'm all for new ways to get our streets cleaner (personally believing that people who litter should be punished by having to clear up the town for at least a day for every piece they threw down) but maybe people should look beyond what the direct effects could be, and think of the side-effects too, to make an informed decision of whether the total balance is beneficial or not.

As a final note, for the doctor who recently celebrated his birthday and who used to be a frequent visitor to this site - welcome back !

The bane of malfunctioning credit card machines

To accompany the new design to this site, how about a bit of new content style too? That question was rhetorical, by the way :)

So in case you don't know, in Germany it is hard to pay for goods and services with credit cards. Big stores normally accept them, but otherwise you might just have a chance with the so called EC card. This is basically a debit card instead of the normal VISA debit cards etc one is used to.

Actually, an example I always like to give to people on the use of cards in Germany, is at a supermarket a couple of years ago. I was in the line to buy my groceries and as often happens, there is some special offer on some home electronics (or a chainsaw, but that's another story) this day there was a huge flatscreen TV on sale. It had a pricetag of around 550 Euros. And sure enough, the customer started to count out lots of fifty notes into the cashier's hand. And the cashier didn't flinch once - this is normal here !!!

But I digress, the card readers.

So to pay for a meal for instance, like in other non EC-card countries, a machine is brought out and the card inserted or swiped. The machine sends the details per wireless or cable to the base station where it checks with the payment authority if this card is valid. Then the customer is asked to either enter their PIN, or to sign a receipt.

Now I'm not the oldest person I know, but I remember this happening in some form for at least 10 years (pubs at uni accepted cards, don't you know). And I don't remember once ever having a problem with them.

Now wind forward to the present. Last night was the second time in two days (and on average I would say at least twice a month) when trying to pay for a meal in a restaurant (knowing full well they accept cards, so I don't bother making the treck to the bank to take out extra cash) that the waitress comes back and says sorry the machine isn't working today.

I know I long gave up on everything being so efficient here as people are led to believe, but I had hoped that at least this problem could just be a freak occurrence. So, we could be in the most rustic village in the middle of Spain, and the machines worked without a hitch, but here in Mainz they seem to have a malfunctioning rate of about one a week. Shouldn't someone investigate this? Did they get these machines on special discount from Aldi? Maybe they need to be sent to China to be repaired?

I think next time this happens I'll just give them my address and tell them to send me the bill. That way I don't have to do 3 trips to the bank a day...

So, about that chainsaw...

Lost but not forgotten

So I might have neglected this blog for a while now. No excuses, just lack of time. Well this weekend has been used to update the look of this site, which hadn't changed since I started it in 2001 (that's 9 years ago !!!) time. Hope you approve...

Dangerous Cheese, Spyclists, and the Purple People

So I've blogged before about the escapades of rolling cheese down a hill and people getting hurt trying to catch it. Well apparently it got too much, and this year's rolling has had to be called off. Next they will be banning egg-and-spoon-races...

The Shambles, in York, has been named Britain's most picturesque street, beating Bath's Royal Crescent into second place. Definitely worth a visit if you up that way...

You've heard of the warning about spies in our mists during the war. Loose tongues cost lives and the like. Well, what you might not have heard about, were the German touring cycle groups, which apparently went around the areas of possible invasions, to take note of the potential targets, and possible hostilities in the area. Is that why they love cycling so much in Germany?...

Movement is afoot in Italy. Not about the Vatican and the sex abuse claims, but rather on the political front. They don't have their own political party, but the Purple People are a large group of people that apparently formed through Facebook to show their dislike of Berlusconi. They have organised protests with hundreds of thousands of demonstrators turning out, all wearing something purple. It might not be a direct competition for the upcoming elections, but they do have a voice, and one which is getting louder by the day. It will be interesting to see when they reach a critical mass, how the current leader can cope (except for using violence of course)...

There once was a lovely village set in the middle of green pastures, where one could relax without noisy motorways, airports etc nearby. This Area of Natural Beauty is called the Chilterns. And this will no longer be the case if the government has its way and creates their new High Speed Rail Link between London and Birmingham going straight through this greenbelt area. Start joining the protests now...

And the Rugby. The latest Six Nations game is underway at the moment, France vs Italy, and then the final matches are being played next Saturday, which we will hopefully be able to enjoy with Luca, Carlitos, Luigi and a possible show by Lobelto. Then we will have to wait for the World Cup in South Africa...

Carnival Thaw

So the carnivals have drawn to an end. This year there actually seemed to be less broken glass on the ground...could it be fewer bottles were smashed? Or they were quicker in cleaning up? Or did the cold weather keep many people at home? I don't know the answer, but it was a nice surprise on the Tuesday morning to not have to pick glass splinters out of my shoes when I arrived at the office.

Of course, cold weather was never a problem in Barranquilla, where their carnival took place at 34 degrees celsius.

As most people are still recovering on the Tuesday after carnival, I suspect they forgot that it's also known as Pancake Day. Yes, you should pick up all your leftovers and use them as filling for the pancakes you make. Tasty...

Google StreetView has appeared in this blog a few times. And here it is again. This time the video-car came across something in Norway that was very unexpected...just take a look at this link.

Well, Luca is back in Germany, this time in Bochum, so maybe there will be a meetup again, once the weather has warmed up a bit.

Keep those woollies on...

Pricey Ham, Evils of Playstation, and Airport Security

Selfridges has decided that there are some people out there who would pay an arm and a leg for a nice piece of ham. They have put up for sale a piece costing 1800 pounds. Yes, that's pounds, not pesetas...

Amongst all the worrying things that the current president of Venezuela has done (taking over anything and everything) is the attack on the Sony Playstation. Yes, that's right, Chavez has decided that this piece of technology is evil. A bit like the pot calling the kettle black...

So after the latest attempt to blow up an airliner it's become all the rage to bring in the nudity scanners in airports. You know the ones - you walk through and the attendant no longer asks you if you have a canoe in your pocket. Well, in principle, the better you get at detecting these things, the safer for us, right? Well, it would be if humans were not part of this equation. Just take Munich airport (go on, take it). They have the explosives detection in place to work on laptops, and the machine says that this laptop was probably in touch with explosive substance. Well that should be the end of it you may think. Inspect the guy thoroughly until you are sure it was just a false positive. Well, no. The human element lets this guy take his laptop and walk away into the (security cleared) area of the airport. Here he can board a plane, make a transit in another country and not get rechecked.
So it doesn't really matter if we have to pass through a scanner completely naked, get all our orifices checked and have sniffer dogs all over us. In the end the human element will allow mistakes to happen. So what should we do? Well, maybe we should just sit back and await all the status updates that these new scanner machines could generate on twitter...oh, nobody told you they were attached to a SIM card?...

Travel safely...

Certain Weather, Riot Sledging and Chavez Stores

Whilst the weather here can't make up it's mind (finally the snow had cleared for 2 days and then in 2 hours 2 inches of snow had fallen in Mainz yesterday evening) let's have a look at what's been happening in the world.

A novel new use of police riot shields has been found in Oxfordshire. After a heavy snowfall with most people being snowed in, a couple of bobbies decided to take to the slopes on their aforementioned protective gear. Looks like fun, although that didn't last once their boss got wind of their escapades...

After devaluing the Venezualen currency last week, Chavez ordered soldiers to take to the streets and take over shops not offering their wares at their recent lower value. Is there anything this man won't keep his hands off?

Ever wondered what that whiff was when you drive out of London? Well it could quite easily be the recycling of sewage, which has been saving millions of pounds a year, and generated 14% of Thames Water's energy. Other ideas for recycling it as lip-gloss haven't gone down too well though...

Just left to say that the earthquake in Haiti has been taking up most of the news lately. Let's hope they manage to sort out the supply dispersion quickly enough to save as many lives as possible of those that are left...

Think before you apply that make-up...

Lidl Drugs, Bean PM, and Y2010 Bugs

If you're going shopping at Lidl in Spain, maybe you should take a closer look at that package of bananas you put in your trolley after one kilo bags of cocaine were found to be hidden in amongst the fruit. I suppose there's going to be someone that's not too happy about losing so much powder, and then there's going to be someone who's very happy with their latest banana trifle ;)

Spain's PM, Zapatero has often been likened to TV personality Mr Bean. So it was a funny surprise to see that a hacker had exchanged the PM's photo on his website for the new EU presidency for that of the comic. It would be interesting to find out how many people had seen the site without realising there had been a switch...

Ten years ago, you heaved a sigh of relief, that after so many reports of the world coming to an end, the millenium actually started with very few technical hickups. Pity the people with German cards then, who woke up on the 1st of Jan 2010 and tried to pay for their shopping, take out money from the ATM, or were on holiday trying to pay for that expensive meal they just ate - and finding out that there's a technical glitch with the chips on their cards and they don't work. Well this happened to around 30 million German card holders, who were without resolve until yesterday. Of course, this comes on top of the fact that in November last year, over 100 thousand German credit cards had to be recalled after there was a security breach in the payment system, and they were being used without the owners consent.

Well, there's been a lot of snow chaos going on all over Europe, temperatures reaching -22 degrees, airports being closed, planes being cancelled, lorries and cars in pile-ups and accidents, and water pipes bursting. If it wasn't so cold out there I'd take some photos and put them up, but you'll have to make do with this link to the BBC article here.

Wrap up well !

Cheese Charge, Being Swedish and Marmite Thefts

So, what's being going on this winter so far? After having the family over for Christmas Markets visit (and Clive getting addicted to the Glow Juice), Tati and Jan got married, and we had the first snow.

In fact, the first snow happened yesterday with -4 degrees, and despite being predicted, caused large scale chaos in Mainz. The buses were all held up as the city came to a standstill with the roads all gridlocked for about 4 hours. The roads and pavements were of course not gritted, so became sheets of black ice, and the emergency vehicles couldn't get through the traffic. This morning we had -13 degrees...

Hopefully you're not traveling off to Hong Kong with Cathay Pacific, as it is currently having problems with mysterious toilet blockages on it's flights. If you are traveling these holidays, then now you know why the extra sick bags can be found in front of you...

You either love it or you hate it, but this saying is being brought to extremes as a petrol station manager is having to lock away his jars of marmite behind the counter after they were targeted in multiple robberies. It is not mentioned whether the assailants were armed with twiglets...

Ever wondered what being Swedish is all about? Well according to a local politician part of it is the ability to swing both ways in the same day. If you want the more detailed and exact definition she gave, check out this link.

The Cosmopolitan has some sound advice for those of you wanting to make sure you do everything possible not to catch the swine flu: avoid the missionary position - adopt the reverse cowgirl. Nice to know that they are thinking of our best interests...

The financial crisis is having it's effects felt everywhere. In Aachen, Germany a 74 year-old man and a 53 year-old woman disagreed about possession of the trolley. So to sort it out the woman got hold of a 4 pound wedge of parmesan cheese, and used it as a dagger, whilst the man counter-attacked with a stick of salami. The woman had to be treated for a cracked head at the end of the day. It is not mentioned who ended up with the trolley, nor what products were obviously so valuable...

History has been made by a man in the US who was put away in jail at the age of 19 for 35 years, only to be freed now on DNA evidence. Looking at the t-shirt he was wearing, maybe the police could have gotten a clue t his innocence a bit earlier on...

Well, nothing like freezing at home, wondering when the summer will come (or some more glow-juice, hey Clive?).

Wrap up warm...

Spanish Helping Hand, Stolen Cafe and Female Blue Pills

Government education plans have always been criticized as too simple, too difficult or too expensive. Well the Spanish region of Extremadura has hit the headlines after they have put forward 14000 euros for booklets telling children how to go solo (and no, I'm not talking about flying across the channel). It's not mentioned whether they get practical lessons too, and if they do, whether it's in mixed classes...

Imagine going in to work one day to find the building gone. Well that's what happened to the owner of the Tip Top Tasters Cafe in Keighley. The 2.5 tonnes of building with all of it's contents went missing overnight and nobody saw anything. Next time maybe chain it to a bike rack...

Now woman are allowed to get a similar amount of spam mail as men after the discovery of a drug that is claimed to be a female viagra. Look out for the Christmas his'n her sets this December in your local pharmacy...

And finally good news for men everywhere. Alcohol is good for our hearts. In fact, according to this report, having more of it makes our hearts better still. Somehow I have a feeling this news will be shot down by various medics though...

Well, get out there and do your xmas shopping...

Huge Meatballs, Oxford Street X, and Sexy Accents

So you thought the triple decker burgers were an exaggeration? How about a meatball that weighs in at 101 kilos ? Thankfully all that meat didn't go to waste - it was donated to a local kitchen to feed the hungry. It isn't noted, however, how many of them it managed to feed...

Oxford Circus has a new crossing. Based on a japanese design, it's based on the X shape, and apparently carries up to 70% more people across it. This blogger will be taking a look at it in the near future and be letting you know if he feels like there's 70% more space around him when he crosses it...

The Italians have been toppled ! The Irish have gone up to 1st position in the tables of sexiest accents in the world. The Scottish, Welsh and English are also in the top 10. In fact, all bar Australian and American were European accents. I suppose, had all the poor people in world also been given a chance to vote, maybe this would have changed the results. In fact, if the survey was done in more languages it would also maybe have attracted some of the more populous countries like China and India to take part. Then again, maybe they did, and still found the Irish accent the sexiest...

Ever thought bats were boring, nocturnal creatures that don't get to enjoy life? Well, think again, as the latest edition of Science has an article describing how asian bats get up to all sorts of naughty business that would put viagra-fuelled monkeys to shame. It doesn't state, though, whether this is due to them hanging upside down all day and the blood rushing to their heads...

Prepare yourself for Guy Fawkes Night...

Childish Lemonade and Online Memories

Fentimans traditional Victorian lemonade, fermented over 7 days, has caused controversy in the US, after the natural alcohol content of 0.5% was noticed by a schoolboy in Maine. He then complained to the principal and it's escalated up through the police and the state Attorney General's office.
All this over a drink that's been legally classified as a soft drink. It makes me wonder why this kid decided to tell his principal. Was he annoyed that he wasn't getting drunk on something he saw had alcohol content on the label? Did he try drinking 16 bottles to get the equivalent of a pint of weak beer? Or did he just not like the Victorian age in his history class? Well, at least it made sales soar with all the media interest...

Ever thought that technology is all well and good, but as soon as you die, it's not really helpful anymore? In order to prove this wrong, facebook has introduced a new feature allowing you to enshrine a profile as a memorial to that person. So just wait to hear about some celebrity's profile being hacked to make it look like they've died, especially around April 1st...

On top of that, if you're not quite sure where to get burial apparel, then don't worry, Walmart now has a selection of coffins for you to order online. Start getting worried when they have them on offer "2-for-1"...

So another month draws to an end, and in the next couple of days there are a few birthdays to celebrate. Mavi with be blowing out candles on Sunday, as will Patricia on Monday. Also on Sunday, Mariette will be christened. Enjoy !

Battle of the Whales, Healing Curry and Court (in)Security

An event until now not captured on film, the BBC have managed to witness humpback whales fighting of the female. The video is worth watching here. It's amazing how close one can get, and feel like you can touch them (without getting hurt or wet, of course).

What students have been using for decades as a hangover cure, the humble curry now seems to also have cancer-healing powers.
Now those students (who are now more grown up) have a new excuse for going down the curry house - just trying to keep healthy, my dear !

In Germany, the trial begins of a man that stabbed a muslim woman to death in a courtroom. The original case was about defamation in the playground, but obviously it's gotten a bit more serious than that now. Let's just hope that they check for weapons at the court doors this time around...

Another case of ID cards not adding up today. This time, it's been calculated from government figures about total cost of the scheme, and cost for each person, that in order to be self-financing (as the government has said it will be) there need to be 28 million people that voluntarily join the scheme (and pay up the 30 pounds for the privilege). That's nearly half of all people in Britain ! Good to know that we are talking in realistic figures then. Maybe it would have been better to join up with the national lottery, and for every ID card registered, you get a free chance at the jackpot millions? It might make it past the two thousand volunteers that signed up in Manchester then. I thought maths was obligatory at all schools. Even those which politicians go to...

Just popping out for a curry... ;)

Celebrity Hitmen, PC Nursery Rhymes, and Messed Up Monkeys

So you are doing a show of murders that are happening in your city. Things are a bit slow. What do you do? Well, this Brazilian TV host decided to set about ordering killings which just happened to be his rivals in the drug trade. I wonder if one should start investigating Crimewatch...

Political 'correctness' is coming into the BBC now, where they've just made the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme have a happy ending. Isn't there any topic that doesn't end up being savaged by such political nonsense?

Fifteen years ago, pregnant monkeys were given cocaine. Now their middle-aged children are showing the effects. The male monkeys that were inside the womb at the time of the drug intake are impatient, and have no self control. I suppose the female monkeys were like this at this age anyway, which is why they didn't notice a difference...

Keep those monkeys happy...

Driving Beer, PC Brain, Peruvian Food, and Conker Clampdown

We all know you shouldn't drink and drive. But how about driving your beer? That's what an German biker tried out, converting a beer crate into a sort of quad bike. Despite the police saying it was va very clever idea, they still confiscated it as an illegal vehicle. It isn't mentioned whether to go faster you have to drop balast, or drink a beer...

There are all sorts of addons for your PC. But I bet you never say a pulsating brain? Looking pretty life like, this gadget pulsates with the processor, expanding when the CPU is busy, and shrinking when it's running idle. You just have to see the video to believe it...

Peru is combatting the crisis by pushing it's food business. In fact, there are so many people interested in becoming cooks there, it's hard to find a place on a course. You could of course take the other route (preferred by this author) of just eating the food cooked by the peruvian cooks ;)
Here's waiting for some peruvian restaurants to appear around here soon...

I remember collecting a huge bag of conkers whilst doing the paper round and bringing them into school to try my luck in the one of the best playground games. It seems to have become a bit less fun nowadays, as officials in a village conker tournament in Gloucestershire have been checking all pieces of string, and putting the conkers in a vice to check that they haven't been tampered with. I suppose there will be no hot food being sold at this competition, as otherwise those unscrupulous players will be putting their conkers in the oven with vinegar to improve their chances...

Colombia is attracting tourists to an area that until recently was impossible to visit due to security fears. La Macarena is an area of natural beauty with it's famed red-tinted water, which is now attracting visitors doing eco-tourism. Hopefully this can keep up and the income can help to make more areas of this amazing country accessible to others...

Are you a fan of Friends? Or rather, were you? Well head down to London where they have built the Central Perk coffee shop and fitted it out with all the props that were seen on the set. Of course, the couch is the most attractive of them all to the visitors, as most of the filming was done on there, so get a drink, sit back and remember those good times...

Ever wondered what all the fuss was about in the playground when the latest fashion accessory is some cheapy plastic wristband? Well, wonder no more, as this article (commenting on an article in the Sun) explains it all. Just makes you wonder what really is going on behind those innocent faces...

The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has decided to change it's name that it has had since 1979 after realising that it might mean something else now. WTF will now be known as TFW (Tourism Federation of Wisconsin). Maybe they should have checked the meaning of this new acronym as well, as this page shows...

Now let's get those winter clothes out...

Two Weddings, Six Spanish Cities, and a lot of Friends

What a lot of news ! I don't know where to begin...

A few days spent in the Spanish capital Madrid, seeing Javi and Andrea (preparing themselves for their wedding to come) as well as Lourdes (with whom we had the cheapest three rounds of drinks ever - it cost us negative 6 euros). The city was also visited, taking in the sights from the Turibus, having a coffee at the Juan Valdez, and having some great vegetarian food with Andrea and a menu del dia with Lourdes.

It was then off to Valencia by train. Here we stayed with Gemma, Victor, Alejandra and the newly born Claudia. The wedding of Fernando and Valeria was what everyone was waiting for here, and so we also met up with Nuria, Sylvia, Joan, Luca, Albakra and Sofia, Jose Marques and Angela, Paolo, Ali and Luigi, Juanfran, Bruno, Carmen, and many others that I'm sure to have forgotten to list here. Fun was had by all.

From here we went down to Cordoba, where arriving at 7pm with 34 degrees, we realised we weren't going to need any warm clothes. Great Mezquita, again great food, and then it was off the next day to Malaga. More specifically Torre del Mar. Here we met up with Marilo and Julio with their newborn Javi. Time was spent sunbathing on the beach and generally enjoying the seaside life in October.

Flying from Malaga to San Sebastian, we arrived just in time to miss the bus, so had to make our way by taxi to the city. The place is amazing. A proper sandy beach right next to the old town, with pintxos to be eaten non stop. Here we met up with Albakra and Sofia, Paolo, Jaume and Maria Jose, Albe, Luca, Jordi, el Putogues and Francesca, and Juanfran to go off to the wedding of Javi and Andrea. Here we ate until we were full, and then some more. The wedding was great, the meal was also enjoyed, and the party afterwards was just perfect for letting down your hair. Definitely a trip to remember !

From here it was then off to Bilbao before making our way to Santander to catch the plane back to Germany. Arriving to 6 degrees was a bit of a shock to us after temperatures of 30 degrees above that in Spain.

So many people, places and types of food (just think of those gambas in San Sebastian...) and all in all a very enjoyable trip. Now let's prepare the next one...

Ammo Rationing, Nude German Rights and Intimate Millions

Rumours abound when people start fearing something is about to happen. Look at the US. People believing Obama is about to stop sales of weapons have been buying up every last bit of ammunition available to them. The factories have been working 24/7 to try to keep up with demand, and Walmart has been forced to ration the sale of bullets per customer. Yes, you read that right. I didn't know either that whilst buying my groceries I could also pick up a good few rounds of armour-piercing weaponry...

Those Germans. What have they done now? Well...seeing as they love nudity so much (although I must say the adverts on TV are definitely reducing the amount of flesh they show, thankfully), a campsite owner is creating the first nudist walking trail. Yes, put on your walking boots, thick winter socks, backpack, headgear and gloves, just leave your trousers at home...

So you are a truck driver travelling along a major road in Sweden, what would be more normal than pleasuring yourself at the wheel, right? Well, that's what this German truck driver did, whilst also high on drugs, causing his truck to tip over and block the road for over 10 hours. When police interviewed him to find out what happened he began to pleasure himself again in front of them. As you can imagine, the police were not too pleased, and took him away to their station.
Just imagine the calls from people held up going to work, phoning their bosses: "Hi, I'm sorry, I'm not going to be coming in to work today, I'm in a 10 hour tailback because of some German w***ker".

Staying with Sweden - apparently the military are being heavily criticised, as their uniform bras are exploding in combat. Yes, due to all that hard work they pop open or burn up, causing a fire beneath the rest of their clothing. Both cases require the quick removal of their outer clothing. Apparently there are plenty of military men only too willing to help them in their hour of need.
You may think that this would deter women from entering the Swedish armed forces. Apparently not. This year there are over 2000 young women who have signed up to join. I would love to draw conclusions, but it's probably best I don't...

Ever wondered what your Sex degrees of seperation are? Well, according to Lloyds Pharmacy (no direct relation) the average guy or gal in the UK gets around with 2.8 million people (no, you're not missing out on something here, don't get worried yet). These are statistics of taking your partner's partners, their partners etc for 6 degrees. Of course, the reason behind publishing these statistics are not too well hidden. You can buy a testing kit from said pharmacy for a princely sum of 75 pounds...

Private data is just much too handle nowadays. I mean, who wants the responsability to keep hold of thousand or even millions of people's personal information? Well Demon ISP obviously don't, as they sent out a file with all the data of 3600 customers in it, to those customers. So if you wanted to find out the username and password of New Scotland Yard, for instance, you just had to scroll. Maybe someday somebody will get reprimanded big time for such lapses of security...

So, another month drawing to an end, and this time a bit of a break for you. Yes, this blogger sometimes needs a rest too ;)

We'll meet again...

Japanese Gropers, Digital Inclusion, and Hospital Food Blog

First up, congratulations to Gema, who has just given birth to her second daughter Claudia. We can't wait to see her !

Of course, we can't forget Gigi's birthday either, albeit celebrated a bit late in an indian restaurant with a circling fly.

If you're out and about in Japan on the train system and female, then maybe it's worth checking out some websites to find out which lines not to go on, after a man arrested for groping a student told police that he chose that line because it got top marks for gropeability on a website he visited. And you thought there are some things not done yet on the internet...

Everything's possible in Second Life. Which is why it is also currently being sued for allowing counterfeit goods to be produced and sold. But these aren't just any normal goods, rather a specific type of sex toy that the creators claim have been copied by others, and the owners of the Application haven't done enough to stop it. I wonder if the laywers have to file their case from within the program...

The Office for Digital Inclusion (making all people have a computer, whether they like it or not) have managed to really spread the word, as their offices were broken into and all the PCs stolen. Sounds like that their marketing program did it's job then...

When you are laid up in hospital (yes, this includes Carlitos still) with pain, lack of sleep, strangers all around you, and very few friendly visits, you would hope that at least the food would cheer you up. Well, take a look at this blog, written from a hospital bed, detailing in pictures what gets served up at his bedside every day. I'm thinking of collecting all my tinned vegetables together and sending them across to him...

And for those students out there, if you are interested in getting hold of a copy of Microsoft's new operating system, then head along to this page, where you will be able to get Windows 7 for a measly 30 dollars or pounds...

Be thankful for your food...

Carnivals, Hi-Tech Wheelchairs, and Unhealthy Bed-Sharing


So, another August goes by, and another month of carnivals also survived. After the South American carnival from earlier on in the month, came the Notting Hill Carnival, which celebrates all things caribbean. Weather seemed to hold up, and many got to enjoy what is Europe's biggest street party.

Ever wondered why the wheelchair seems to look the same still as it did in the 1960s? Well, maybe you just haven't seen the latest technology coming out of Japan. Roll up their new product which includes such treats as integrated GPS and mounting from behind.

According to recent research, couples should consider sleeping apart in order to be able to relax whilst in bed. Suggestions like "doing it like the romans" spring to mind, but so do the early 19th century homesteads apparently, where there was enough space in the houses before the industrial revolution came about, to have seperate bedrooms.

According to a recent survey, some people actually believe that kebabs, fizzy drinks and crisps are actually oral contraceptives. Admittedly, if you've just eaten the aforementioned articles, it is definitely going to put any potential partner off, maybe that's what they were meaning...

A Swedish father has decided that he would like to be able to give children milk even when the mother is not there. So instead of just getting a pre-prepared bottle, he decides to massage his chest until after about 2 years he might have managed to produce about one drop of milk. I don't know if there exists a translation in Swedish for efficiency...

Ever wondered what the US government knows about you? Well, have a look at this article which contains the results of a Freedom of Information request, and contains gems such as full credit card numbers, expiry date, even of ones you didn't use for any booking in the US. Feel safe now? In fact, I wonder whether you are covered if these numbers get used fraudulantly? Do you have to prove that your number was on some government database in order to get any of the money back?...

Keep safe...

Pornflakes, Stolen Member and Mayoral Miscreants

This Friday saw the visit of Roberto the Italian (as opposed to Roberto the Frenchman). As can be imagined, a visit to the Eisgrub was due, along with Ali, Luigi, Carlitos and Olgui, a few tubes were taken care of...

So you open up a nice new packet of cereal, want to pour on your milk and put the freebie DVD in the computer and watch that keep-fit episode. Imagine how shocked you would be if not only were there aerobics to see, but also plenty of smut. That's what happened to one Swedish woman who said that although she was shocked, she didn't get put off the cereal. In fact she went down the shops to get another packet (to watch the next episode in the series?). So make sure you open the new packets of cereal before your kids get an eyeful of something they shouldn't...

When the Lego version of a giraffe in the Berlin Zoo had its tail stolen again, there were a number of articles about it. None, however, happened to change the story as they UK version of Yahoo! News. They got a bit stuck on where the bit of anatomy came from and wrote:

Visitors to a tourist attraction in Berlin have been making off with an unusual memento - the 30 cm long penis of a Lego giraffe.

Notice the careful use of double-entendres as well in that phrase...

Mayors can get found out for fraud, misuse of property, inappropriate expenses claims and taking bribes. But not many stand accused of breaking into women's houses in his district and stealing their underwear. Well, ok, he is no longer a mayor (he resigned after being arrested), but the ex-mayor of a Lancashire town called Preesall is accused of just that. It is not mentioned whether he intended to give them back at all...

Keep an eye on your underwear...