Pornflakes, Stolen Member and Mayoral Miscreants

This Friday saw the visit of Roberto the Italian (as opposed to Roberto the Frenchman). As can be imagined, a visit to the Eisgrub was due, along with Ali, Luigi, Carlitos and Olgui, a few tubes were taken care of...

So you open up a nice new packet of cereal, want to pour on your milk and put the freebie DVD in the computer and watch that keep-fit episode. Imagine how shocked you would be if not only were there aerobics to see, but also plenty of smut. That's what happened to one Swedish woman who said that although she was shocked, she didn't get put off the cereal. In fact she went down the shops to get another packet (to watch the next episode in the series?). So make sure you open the new packets of cereal before your kids get an eyeful of something they shouldn't...

When the Lego version of a giraffe in the Berlin Zoo had its tail stolen again, there were a number of articles about it. None, however, happened to change the story as they UK version of Yahoo! News. They got a bit stuck on where the bit of anatomy came from and wrote:

Visitors to a tourist attraction in Berlin have been making off with an unusual memento - the 30 cm long penis of a Lego giraffe.

Notice the careful use of double-entendres as well in that phrase...

Mayors can get found out for fraud, misuse of property, inappropriate expenses claims and taking bribes. But not many stand accused of breaking into women's houses in his district and stealing their underwear. Well, ok, he is no longer a mayor (he resigned after being arrested), but the ex-mayor of a Lancashire town called Preesall is accused of just that. It is not mentioned whether he intended to give them back at all...

Keep an eye on your underwear...

Scary Fungi, Scary Politicians, and Lots of Cheese

Ever thought that you should get a certificate for things you do every day? Well, a child from Bury was surprised to learn that he earned a certificate for getting on a bus. Before you laugh this one off, check the end of the article, where it mentions that this brother failed the test...

Twitter is the new texting, the new RSS, the new Facebook. Well, it's also the new botnet gateway, being used to tell computers where to download their latest payloads from. You have to give it to them, it's definitely a novel way of doing it. Let's just hope that it's just as easy to block them, otherwise Twitter will become known as the new malware...

Now for something not so nice. Sorry if you're currently eating...
A fungus has been discovered, that when eating away at living flesh, also controls the nerves and muscles of it's prey and turns them into zombies to go off to where the fungus can spread itself easier. Read the article, and then decide if you really want to do that jungle trip now...

On a similar note, a CDU politician in a district of Berlin decided there was no other option but to do something risque to try and win the local election. The problem is, she used a photo of Angela Merkel and herself, both in low cut tops, with the slogan "we have more to offer". Had they have been of some of Italy's politicians, then maybe it would work, but this...

The size wars have gone a step further now, with Tesco bringing into stock condoms of size XL after a growth in demand. Before you break out the champagne and laugh at the Europeans stuck with just L, take a look at the US where they already have XXL. Show offs...

Feeling a little down in the economy stakes? Got a bit of cheese lying around? Well why not use it as collateral for a loan with your bank. That's what the Italians do. In fact one of the banks which has been doing this since the 1950s has now got over 400 thousand parmesan rounds.

Now you thought that it was enough that Chavez decided to make the Venezualan time zone 30 mins different to what it has been, but spare a thought for the poor Algerians. Their weekend has been changed (again) and will now be Fridays and Saturdays...

Next time you are China don't be surprised if you get offered a piece of Stilton Cheese. Apparently, for the nouvelle riche, it's the status symbol, and western foods are used to impress business colleagues and partners alike. Finally an export market for SPAM...

And in case you are planning on eating rocket salad here in Germany, beware! It doesn't seem to have made it to the English-speaking press except for this one webpage from the Netzeit. Poisonous plants were found in packages of rocket salad in a Plus supermarket here in Germany, which cause damage to the liver. Check here for the information in English, and here for the original article from Der Spiegel in German. Best to keep with the iceberg lettuce then for now...But it always amazes me that this sort of occurrence (like the 5 year old meat that was sold as fresh) doesn't make it outside of Germany...Propaganda still seems to be working then...

And this weekend started off with a visit from Gloria, her sister with husband and child in tow. It was Gloria's first return to Mainz since our Erasmus year in 2000/1 so of course the visit had to include the (now finished) Theatre, Main Station, and of course lunch at the Eisgrub with a meter of beer. Great to see her again, and I think she enjoyed seeing Mainz again. Here's to the next time...

And tomorrow will be Roberto's turn to pay us a visit. Also a long time no see, but of the month variety, not years. Still, always good to catch up on all the gossip...

Don't eat green...

Banking Brothels, Saving Water and Wedding Trains

The economy is in a crisis, you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, so what do you do? Well ,maybe take a few leaves out of the Japanese banker's book. They have seen that the demand for brothels increase whilst other expenditures, like eating out, have decreased. So, now we know where all those finance people go after being laid off...

It's not just the economy that's in a crisis, so is the health of planet earth. Trying to help out, a Brazilian environmental group have released a video that's making it's rounds on YouTube, encouraging you to take a leak in the shower rather than flushing the toilet. Apparently it saves 12 litres of water per flush...

So what can a groom-to-be do to make his love stand out? How about, get his family and friends together to make the longest wedding train for his bride-to-be, reaching an astonishing 2162m long. The even sowed petals all over it. Apparently, though, the groom's mother didn't think much of the expenditure, and said it was a waste of money. At least the mother-in-law was probably positive about it...

Well, a humid week has been and gone, the thunderclouds are predicted for tonight, so hopefully it will cool off a bit for next week. Beatriz had her birthday picnic out by the river, enjoying the sun whilst one can, and Ester, Salvo etc came back from their Croatia trip full of enthusiasm.

Have a great shower...

Expensive Scotch and Housewarming

Ever wanted to taste a really good scotch? Got too much money that just needs to be spent? Well head on down to the Glenfiddich distillary and buy yourself a bottle of 50 year old single malt for the handsome sum of 10 thousand pounds. If you can't quite make that, how about a shot for 357 pounds?

So we went off to Diana and Jan's place for a housewarming party. In the headlands of Hechtsheim, their top floor flat looked out over the rooftops of the surrounding houses, as smoke came out of the BBQ, and the marshmallows were going soft, we all tucked into the home made salads to accompany the meat. Fun was had by all.

Well, a bit short today, but lots to do...

Real Balti, Dry Beer, and BBQ Bust-Up

Most of you should know by now that the best thing to come out of Birmingham is the balti. Okay, that's harsh. The best foodstuff to come out of brum is the balti. How's that? Well, in order to protect it's reputation and stop other people coming along and trying to pretend to serve up a real balti, Birmingham County Council is considering taking it up with the European Union to protect it's assets. Yep, prepare to see it alongside such protected names as Champagne, Wensleydale, and Yorkshire Pudding. Now where's my balti dish...

It shouldn't happen. It just shouldn't happen. But the Beer on the Wye fetival had to be called off early as they ran out of beer. Yes, you read it correctly, the visitors appeared to be so thirsty that despite picking up another 18 barrels on the saturday, they still couldn't keep up with demand. I don't know whether to praise the participants for setting a good example, or to condone the organisers for not being well enough prepared...

Ever wondered what sort of discounts you get for being a cyclist? Well head over to Berlin where the current offer is for a 5 Euro discount off an intimate affair (or as TheRegister accurately puts it "a pop"). Just don't forget to take off your reflective trouser clips...

Fancy having a barbie for your birthday? A nice small group of 15 friends burning their sausages and talking about the old days...just be careful you don't mention it on any social network site. After announcing one on facebook as being an all-nighter (open-end til the food or beer runs out), one man was surprised to see a handful of police cars, a riot van, as well as a police helicopter arriving to shut them down. They didn't even get the music plugged in. Maybe that's why so many people turned up to the Beer on the Wye festival...a lot safer...

Want to know where to get your next joint? Got an iPhone? Well look no further than this new application that let's you know where your nearest dispenser is, and has a list of local lawyers too in case you get busted by the cops. Takes all the fun out of asking dodgy people on corners...

Next time you go to a charity shop, take a good look before you pick something up, after a Claymore mine was dropped off at one shop in Colorado. Luckily nobody thought about packing it in a box with other items on top...

Ever on your bike and realise you're mobile needs charging, but don't have the time to do it at home before you need to go out again? Well why not use your own pedal power to charge it whilst you're on the move? Two students in Kenya have produced these pedal chargers and hope to be making some more soon once they've finished their studies. Next up you'll need to charge the bike GPS as well...

Keep safe on the streets...

The Real iPods, Chili Bombs, and Behind Crop Circles

If you're like me, you got fed up about 6 monhts ago about everything iPoddy. Well here's a piece of news that might cheer you up. The London Eye (yes, the big ferris wheel along the Thames) has started an upgrade to it's capsules, by floating the first one down the river. These capsules are otherwise known as pods, and they come from the London Eye...ok, never mind, moving swiftly on...

Think that the local curry house's vindaloo is a bit too hot for you? Well spare a thought for anyone on the receiving end of one of the Indian army's latest crowd control deterrents. It's a chili bomb. A grenade is filled with special chili powder that is about 1000 times hotter than normal chili. You'll need a gallon of lager to wash that down though...

Aliens or alien-wannabes are normally seen as the culprits of crop circles that appear all over the world in various forms. Well in Australia the secret is no more. Wallabies were found to have been eating poppy seeds and getting high on the opium within, that when they went around hopping, they couldn't do it straight, and went around in circles. Definitely sound more amusing to watch...

Ever wanted to see a volcano explode from above, but a bit weary about flying overhead? Look to the ISS for this great picture they took whilst passing by this eruption in the Far East. Amazing view...

And you thought that your church was a good sanctuary...not any more. One US pastor has held a service with the congregation bringing in their own weapons, saying that it should be celebrated that one can 'bear arms'...Thinking about this some more, maybe three was a misunderstanding when the original amendment was done to the US constitution. Maybe every American has the right to the arms of the bears. Also not particularly eco-friendly, but maybe a little less dangerous...

Before you go swimming in the local river, maybe it's worth taking note of what type of fish you might find. In the river Wear a rare blood-sucking fish was found (note the many teeth) recently. It's a thing of nightmares and horror films...I'll be going to the local swimming baths from now on...

Late breaking news is that the leader of Honduras has just been ousted by the military. Let's hope the situation sorts itself out peacefully in a short time...

Keep those toes out of the water...

Spanish Insults, Vegetable Revolution and Sticky Wallpaper

No sooner is one batch of news over and done with, than a few more stories catch my eye. So, part two of this week's news:

Want to let out your frustration and aggression from work before you get back home to the family? Well one barkeeper in Spain has decided that he will endure this for the good of mankind. The fact he thinks we need an invitation to do this is surprising indeed coming from a country that uses such obscenities in everyday language without raising an eyebrow...

Che would be turning in his grave. All that revolutionary spirit and strict beliefs...and what does his daughter go and do? Pose naked only dressed up in bio carrots and his famous beret for PETA...

Just got onto the netbook bandwagon, and decided that Windows 7 will be the best operating system for it? Just make sure you like Microsoft's colours, as they are not letting you change lots of settings like the background wallpaper...

Keep those colours free...

Crumbling Recession, Flying McDonalds and Sicily Vanishes

As the financial crisis takes its toll, people start to cut back on their luxury items. No longer wanting a second car, nor jetting off to those far off places. One thing apparently doesn't change in these circumstances - our appetite for food. We seem to go through our normal routines without turning to financial diets. Let's just hope the economy can survive on this in the long term...

Two Royal Naval officers have appeared in a Chilean court for apparently stealing a life size Ronald McDonald statue, and throwing it into the harbour. I bet they wouldn't have had any trouble if they had just thrown their burgers in there...

Alitalia has been a bit red-faced recently after it printed maps in its inflight magazines missing off the island of Sicily. When someone checks in a horse's head, you will know why...

If you didn't already know, the summer solstice has just begun. You would have noticed if you were passing anywhere near Stonehenge, where over 36 thousand people attended the rising of the sun on this day. And you thought you had to be a musical star to attract that many fans...

Google's StreetView has had quite a bit of bad press, due to the privacy implications of everything being filmed when it's cars drive by. Well this time it gets some good press out of it. In the Netherlands StreetView was used by a victim of a mugging to identify his assailants. Now if you could only track them back to their homes...

If the weather is still being good to you, you might want to head down to Brighton to celebrate the arrival of the thousands of cyclists that are making their way down from London in order to raise money for the British Heart Foundation. Of course, if you're in a car, you might want to avoid this route...

Dr Who fans everywhere should head down to Huddersfield to see the reappearance of a Tardis. And not for the television series, but actually being reintroduced for the local police force. Are we heading back to the good old days of old fashioned policing? Let's hope so...

Well, Karla's birthday party has been and gone, everyone enjoyed it, and now we have to get ready for a new week...

Keep out of the way of those Johannisfest revellers...

GPS Capers, Special Nurses, and Free Willy

So, we've heard about the people that follow their GPS blindly, even if it sends them from Birmingham to Liverpool via Calais, but how about the guys that bulldozed a house from it's GPS coordinated rather than an address? It was the first the owner heard about it too...

Ever wondered how life could get any worse than just being put in jail? How about if the nurse gives you an overdosis that makes you "stand up" for the next 3 days? You can imagine how that goes down in the communal showers...

And back to reality where Carlitos has been trying to survive on the hospital food here in Mainz whilst they operate on his leg. Here's hoping they let him out tomorrow and he gets back to normal soon. Okay, normal for him...

Don't walk under any ladders...

Chasing the Cheese, Losing your Fingerprints, and Okay to Snog?

Fancy running after a cheese? How about rolling down a hill after it? That's what happened again this May bank holiday when the 7lb Double Gloucester was rolled down Cooper's Hill. Be warned however if you plan to join in next year - 58 people needed medical attention this year...

The Chinese theme park based upon sex, with naked bodies, large genitalia and the history of sex, has not been allowed to open. No, the government managed to step in and say that "Love Land" was just sensationalist and had no moral values. So, let's see if those flight tickets can be canceled...

An often used cancer drug has been found to remove patient's fingerprints. As it causes blisters and peeling of the skin, after using it for some time, the fingerprints become so faint that they can no longer be detected for ID purposes, for instance at the US border control. I can see spiderman coming back with this knowledge...

Ever wanted to know if your breath is minty fresh enough for chatting up that lovely lady in the pub? Well, first off, don't bother worrying, if you've had a few pints, it'll be the lager they can smell whether you've done your teeth or not. But seriously, an israeli inventor has come up with a "breathalizer" which you can use to check if you're going to put someone off before you get close to them. Of course, it's not mentioned about people from different cultures having different versions of their preferred smells...

So, another national holiday has gone by, weather wasn't good enough for a BBQ though. Have to leave that til august. Must say that "Educating Rita" at the English Theatre in Frankfurt was worth seeing, whatever the weather.

Keep it fresh...

Birthdays, German Busts and Shorter Meetings

First up, birthdays have been on left, right and centre. Ester, Vanessa and Caro L have all been out celebrating an extra candle on their cakes. Happy birthday to you all!

Anyone wondering about the German preference for large breasted women can now go back to the origins, after a 35,000 year-old statue was found of the earliest 3D pornography. As one can see, here too were the proportions more on a fantasy scale rather than something realistic. Unless they are realistic, then I think there will be many people wishing they could go back in time to check it out for themselves...

Ever thought that the meeting you need to go to shouldn't take up a whole hour that it is set for? Maybe you wanted a quick decision on something without the filling in a whole block of your diary. Well, IBM has come up with a solution for you. You will be able to schedule shorter meetings than the one-hour unit. Yes, they will sell you software that will allow you to have a meeting of 50 mins if you like. Think you can do this yourself without their help? Well, watch out, they have just filed a patent on shorter-than-one-hour meetings...

You will probably already know of Google StreetView, where cars of the search giant go around cities filming everything they see, which is then made available for all to see on Google Maps. Personally I find it a great help being able to see what an area looks like before visiting it. Of course, there is the privacy to consider. After catching people in all sorts of positions, they were forced to integrate a face-blurring algorithm. This has been seen as a great way of protecting people's identities without losing the great quality images. Well, it seems that this algorithm is so good, it's also started protecting children from the fast-food industry. Yes, Colonel Sanders face has been blurred, looking eerily like one of those crimewatch videos...

The (polish) catholic church is fighting back and showing people it's up to date with modern wishes. Yes, a priest has decided to get people away from that far eastern Karma Sutra, and onto his own book called "Sex as you don't know it". It's already on a second reprint after selling out of its initial 5000 copies within a week...

Well tonight it's the Eurovision Song Contest. Get your vote in...

Birthday Wishes, Hedgehog Diet, Hidden Irish

So first up it was Olgui's birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday !!! This year's event took place in Havanna (the restaurant) with a fair number of tables being filled by guests. Highlights of the night were the rollos (of which were eaten about 15) and the birthday cake (with chocolate sticks for candles).

Now some people go on diets, then their cats and dogs go on diets, but this is the first time I've heard about a hedgehog having to go on a diet. It apparently weighs over 2 kilos...

Lined up for brain surgery? Maybe it's worth insisting that no Father Ted is shown on the hospital television beforehand. A Yorkshire man woke up from his with a full Irish accent, despite having never been to the country, nor having an relatives from there...

Next time you hear noises late at night have a thought for this lady that now has to appear before court for having breached her ASBO for noisy sex again. There apparently is no proof of the noise except for the neighbours not being able to sleep...

An interesting twist has come to the tale of Israeli oranges that appeared in Iran. Apparently they were faked brand oranges from China...

Finally wanted to get some use from Google Street View? Well how about for checking out the local ladies of the night...

Wrap up well...

Protective Underwear, Long-distance Loving and despicable parenting


Get nervous when youths enter a shop you are in? Feel intimidated when people start shouting at each other around you? Want to wear a bullet-proof vest but worry you can't disguise it? Well fear no more, all you need is a suitably wired bra, as a woman in Detroit found out. When four robbers trying to escape saw that a woman had been watching them, they fired off a shot at her. This bullet hit the underwiring of her bra and was deflected, not even piercing her skin. Now all we need to do is find something similar men can wear...

Technology can solve everything someone once said. Well, for the people that are a long distance apart yet need the intimacy between them to carry on, scientists have invented such a device that projects the position of one body through light on your own body and allows as such a virtual interaction. However, it's uses are not restricted here, they are also testing a similar device for virtual fighting...

The province of Alberta in Canada might not be well know all over the world, but a brief knowledge of geography and one can normally know that it's a land-locked (shouldn't this be logged?) state. So it was a bit of a surprise when their latest tourist video showed pictures of a family on a beach. Further investigation showed that the picture of the beach was actually from Northumberland in the UK. Well, I suppose the advert helped someone's tourism...

Feeling the pinch of the financial crisis? No longer able to do all things you used to? Feel insecure about how your family is going to survive? So what would you do? Well, hopefully not set off for Italy and then leave your three young children in a pizzeria and go into hiding like this faimly in Germany just did. It beggars belief what some people have for brains...

So a BBQ along the Rhine coming up if the weather holds, great way of sing up those sausages...

Tube Reading, Sexless Ants and Brazilian Lingerie

Whilst the weather can't make up it's mind, why not take the tube to some of London's favourite tourist attractions. Whilst you're about it, pick up a good read. Once a month novels are given outside certain tube stations and can be dropped off once they are read. Makes a change from all those free papers that end up stuck to the bottom of your foot, or lanced at you whilst you walk down Oxford Street...

Remember those science fiction films you saw as a kid (or maybe also as a grown up?) where the villains use cloning to produce their perfect race of soldiers? Well, amazonian ants have started cloning themselves, so they no longer need to mate in order to reproduce. As it's known by all that ants will take over the world someday, surely this is the first wakeup call, that this day is coming soon?...

Considering taking the missus away on a dirty weekend? Well don't think about coming to the UK. A Brazilian woman has been refused entry to Newcastle airport (after also being denied to enter Belfast too after it was found that she had a lot of underwear in her suitcase, but little else. It just goes to show that one should travel without any clothes then...although I bet you'll be turned back for other reasons as well...

Looking for that unusual gift for someone special? Well the new rage in Australia is paper made from wombat poo. Yep, this isn't just any recycling, it's exporting the sewage that one would normally pump out into the sea or bury in land fills. Genius...

The so-called environmental bonus in Germany is under mounting criticism that it's creating scrapyards full of cars that would otherwise have been resold. Cars with less than 20k on the clock, 9 years old, sparkling condition are all being scrapped as the Germans get a bonus off purchase of their new car. Of course this means more people are buying smaller cars now (the bonus is therefore a higher discount) but also, as Germans are used to changing their cars every other year, it's created a surge in scraps which are perfectly ok to drive, and probably not even environmentally worse than the newer ones they buy. It reminds me of a time (1939?) when all metal objects were collected by the government in order for them to make products of their own...

Now for something completely different. You may have asked why are people on the telly always good looking? Why aren't there any not-so-good-looking people that have talent? Well, in Britain's Got Talent a lady named Susan Boyle appeared, astounding critics with her marvelous rendition of Les Miserables, despite coming on stage to jeers and laughs. You have to see this video of it. Very enlightening...

So get your karaoke out and start practicing...

Meat, Sex and Pineapples

According to new research, eating the famous bacon sarnie after going on a bender does actually help to cure your hangover. It wouldn't surprise many of us, however, things like this we have known since the heady days of Selly Oak life. What we're still waiting for is the proof that having a curry at 4am after coming back from a club also helps one to lose weight...

It appears that chimps have finally figured out the meaning of life. The male chimps now know that if they share their portion of meat with the ladies, they get to mate more often than their greedy cousins. Of course there will be nervousness around the hut, with rumours of a "meat for sex" scandal to erupt soon...

So you've come to a foreign country to film a video, and you decide to have a break and go and grab a bite to eat. Who do you leave protecting your expensive camera kit? A security guard? Policeman? Some big bloke who needs the money? Well these japanese decided that leaving some poor guy dressed in a pineapple outfit would be enough. As you can imagine, the camera kit vanished quicker than you could say pineapple juice...

Always on the lookout for great job descriptions, the swedish have decided that they are missing out on claiming tax on people stripping on the web. So some poor guy has to go around visiting all the stripping webcam sites of the internet, checking to see if one of the strippers could be swedish, who he then tries to contact in order to get a name or address so that he can then send off a tax bill to her. Must be a difficult job to find people for...maybe the community could do it for him...

Do your bit...

Sunning it up

So, you've finished looking at the pictures of the Mainz Carnival 2009, and wanting to know what to do? Well, you should have gone down to Colombia in March. Great weather (sun, 35 degrees celsius in Barranquilla), great food (perrito italo-hawaiano, chuzo de pollo desgranado con mazorca, sancocho, arequipe, fritanga...), great music (Santana in concert) so I hope you can understand why I didn't update this blog for a while :)

Anyways, the world has moved on over the last month. The sun has actually come to work part-time in Mainz. Yes, the last couple of days we've had sunny spells, and temperatures rising to 18 degrees! Time to put the winter clothes away and get those shorts back out...

If you're planning on going down to the Black Forest, double check which hotel you've booked into, as one in particular has decided to go naturist. Clothes are completely forbidden. Just make sure you don't order a hot dog...

How to annoy everyone at a political summit? Hold up the starting speech by talking on your phone. That's what Berlusconi decided to do at the NATO summit. I wonder whether the Italians pay his roaming charges...

Get those grills cleaned up, if this keeps up we'll be having a barbie next week :)

A little bit of the Carnival in Mainz 2009

Polish Drivers, Best Sarnies, and Chavez Dictates

The Carnival is underway here in Mainz, which means that you meet even stranger people on the street than normal, any style goes, and that there's always enough broken glass on the floor to cut your shoes open. Well, I suppose that's what the alcohol is for - it stops you worrying about these sort of problems. Today the children get to process in the pouring rain. Maybe it'll dry up by Monday when there are meant to be half a million extra people in the city...

If you were reading the driving license of a foreign national what would you think would be the most important piece of information on it? Maybe the name of the driver? Well not if you're in Ireland. On the police computer systems there are aver 50 people with the equivalent name of Mr Driving License. Good to know that the streets are safe...

Feeling peckish? Well why don't you pop down to Bob's Big Bite in Stourbridge and get your hands on a great bacon sandwich (as rated by the AA guide). Definitely one not to miss...

Want to get one over on a mate? Ten try copying this prank which sent a Manchurian up to Glasgow to see his new internet love, only to find she didn't exist. It brings a new level to team rivalry.

Hugo Chavez has pulled it off and is now able to be elected president of Venezuela as many times as he likes. The favourable vote nothing to do with the fact that the law also applies to all state positions...

So get your fancy costume on (yes, I mean you, Carlitos) and get down to the parade...

Chips and Ironing Boards, Missing Apostrophes, German Spies

As the snow and rain do their worst, there are some things in life that brighten up your day. Watching Wales play against England in the Rugby Six Nations yesterday is one of them (want to know the rules, watch this). Great game, helped along with the company of Carlitos and Luigi and a couple of beers. Hearing that I've become a godfather and uncle at the same time is another.

The Deutsche Bahn are having a bit of a problem now, as it turns out that they have been secretly spying on their employees, and their families. It gives most of the population a bitter taste harking back to the days of the third reich. Maybe the investigations were the reason why the trains always came late...

Ever wondered why a chippy always smells good when you pass by? Well according to new research, the mix of smells from butterscotch to ironing boards are the reason. Let's get those shirts out again then...

There is a current trend in the West Midlands of getting rid of that little harmless dot, the apostrophe. Yes, all street signs have started having theirs snowpaked out. Of course some people aren't happy about this, so they've started up a group of apostrophe protectors that protest against these inhumane persecutions.Next they'll be wanting to get rid of commas...

The Telegraph has done some investigation and found a reason why kids nowadays should be doing cocaine instead of having a pint of lager - it's cheaper (sorry, am I allowed that apostrophe?).
Maybe we should bring back the good old days of a pound a pint in order to get rid of the drug craze :)

Well, the Carnival time is getting nearer, weirdly dressed people are all over town, and it's not the usual lot of the lederhosen brigade. There will be cows, bulls, even certain cartoon robots (bender?) all out there mingling with the other strangely dressed objects. So button down the hatches and unplug the TV, there's no escaping it...

Snow Chaos, Final Countdown and Back to Earth

In case you hadn't heard already, the UK is currently experiencing the worst snow conditions for over 20 years. This has led to schools being closed, all buses in London being taken out of service, huge delays and many cancellations at airports, and low levels of salt for gritting the roads. At least those that are inside can keep cosy with their mugs of ovaltine and a log fire...

The clock's ticking, not long left now. Are you ready for it? Yes, it's the Epoch countdown. In under a week the computer date system will reach 1234567890. Rumours of millenium-style problems occurring are completely unfounded...

After a while out exploring the universe(s), Red Dwarf is set to come back to Earth this Easter. Yes, the series will be coming back to our screens for a couple of episodes to top off their 11 year stint on the BBC. Set your video recorder...

On a similar note, if you have a problem, and you don't know who to call, then get down to the cinemas next year to see the film version of The A-Team. Whether BA will be able to board the plane to Hollywood has yet to be seen...

The new African Union chairman is going to make things interesting this year, as Col Gaddafi has started off by saying that in Africa, the best model is where there are no opposition parties, like in his own Libya. He also started up the discussion of the United States of Africa again...

In the meantime, here in Mainz it's been raining most of the time, which sort of dampens the spirits for going out to parties at the moment. Never mind, maybe Ali will cook up a great Sunday dinner for us :)

Eat well...