Cheese Charge, Being Swedish and Marmite Thefts

So, what's being going on this winter so far? After having the family over for Christmas Markets visit (and Clive getting addicted to the Glow Juice), Tati and Jan got married, and we had the first snow.

In fact, the first snow happened yesterday with -4 degrees, and despite being predicted, caused large scale chaos in Mainz. The buses were all held up as the city came to a standstill with the roads all gridlocked for about 4 hours. The roads and pavements were of course not gritted, so became sheets of black ice, and the emergency vehicles couldn't get through the traffic. This morning we had -13 degrees...

Hopefully you're not traveling off to Hong Kong with Cathay Pacific, as it is currently having problems with mysterious toilet blockages on it's flights. If you are traveling these holidays, then now you know why the extra sick bags can be found in front of you...

You either love it or you hate it, but this saying is being brought to extremes as a petrol station manager is having to lock away his jars of marmite behind the counter after they were targeted in multiple robberies. It is not mentioned whether the assailants were armed with twiglets...

Ever wondered what being Swedish is all about? Well according to a local politician part of it is the ability to swing both ways in the same day. If you want the more detailed and exact definition she gave, check out this link.

The Cosmopolitan has some sound advice for those of you wanting to make sure you do everything possible not to catch the swine flu: avoid the missionary position - adopt the reverse cowgirl. Nice to know that they are thinking of our best interests...

The financial crisis is having it's effects felt everywhere. In Aachen, Germany a 74 year-old man and a 53 year-old woman disagreed about possession of the trolley. So to sort it out the woman got hold of a 4 pound wedge of parmesan cheese, and used it as a dagger, whilst the man counter-attacked with a stick of salami. The woman had to be treated for a cracked head at the end of the day. It is not mentioned who ended up with the trolley, nor what products were obviously so valuable...

History has been made by a man in the US who was put away in jail at the age of 19 for 35 years, only to be freed now on DNA evidence. Looking at the t-shirt he was wearing, maybe the police could have gotten a clue t his innocence a bit earlier on...

Well, nothing like freezing at home, wondering when the summer will come (or some more glow-juice, hey Clive?).

Wrap up warm...

Spanish Helping Hand, Stolen Cafe and Female Blue Pills

Government education plans have always been criticized as too simple, too difficult or too expensive. Well the Spanish region of Extremadura has hit the headlines after they have put forward 14000 euros for booklets telling children how to go solo (and no, I'm not talking about flying across the channel). It's not mentioned whether they get practical lessons too, and if they do, whether it's in mixed classes...

Imagine going in to work one day to find the building gone. Well that's what happened to the owner of the Tip Top Tasters Cafe in Keighley. The 2.5 tonnes of building with all of it's contents went missing overnight and nobody saw anything. Next time maybe chain it to a bike rack...

Now woman are allowed to get a similar amount of spam mail as men after the discovery of a drug that is claimed to be a female viagra. Look out for the Christmas his'n her sets this December in your local pharmacy...

And finally good news for men everywhere. Alcohol is good for our hearts. In fact, according to this report, having more of it makes our hearts better still. Somehow I have a feeling this news will be shot down by various medics though...

Well, get out there and do your xmas shopping...

Huge Meatballs, Oxford Street X, and Sexy Accents

So you thought the triple decker burgers were an exaggeration? How about a meatball that weighs in at 101 kilos ? Thankfully all that meat didn't go to waste - it was donated to a local kitchen to feed the hungry. It isn't noted, however, how many of them it managed to feed...

Oxford Circus has a new crossing. Based on a japanese design, it's based on the X shape, and apparently carries up to 70% more people across it. This blogger will be taking a look at it in the near future and be letting you know if he feels like there's 70% more space around him when he crosses it...

The Italians have been toppled ! The Irish have gone up to 1st position in the tables of sexiest accents in the world. The Scottish, Welsh and English are also in the top 10. In fact, all bar Australian and American were European accents. I suppose, had all the poor people in world also been given a chance to vote, maybe this would have changed the results. In fact, if the survey was done in more languages it would also maybe have attracted some of the more populous countries like China and India to take part. Then again, maybe they did, and still found the Irish accent the sexiest...

Ever thought bats were boring, nocturnal creatures that don't get to enjoy life? Well, think again, as the latest edition of Science has an article describing how asian bats get up to all sorts of naughty business that would put viagra-fuelled monkeys to shame. It doesn't state, though, whether this is due to them hanging upside down all day and the blood rushing to their heads...

Prepare yourself for Guy Fawkes Night...

Childish Lemonade and Online Memories

Fentimans traditional Victorian lemonade, fermented over 7 days, has caused controversy in the US, after the natural alcohol content of 0.5% was noticed by a schoolboy in Maine. He then complained to the principal and it's escalated up through the police and the state Attorney General's office.
All this over a drink that's been legally classified as a soft drink. It makes me wonder why this kid decided to tell his principal. Was he annoyed that he wasn't getting drunk on something he saw had alcohol content on the label? Did he try drinking 16 bottles to get the equivalent of a pint of weak beer? Or did he just not like the Victorian age in his history class? Well, at least it made sales soar with all the media interest...

Ever thought that technology is all well and good, but as soon as you die, it's not really helpful anymore? In order to prove this wrong, facebook has introduced a new feature allowing you to enshrine a profile as a memorial to that person. So just wait to hear about some celebrity's profile being hacked to make it look like they've died, especially around April 1st...

On top of that, if you're not quite sure where to get burial apparel, then don't worry, Walmart now has a selection of coffins for you to order online. Start getting worried when they have them on offer "2-for-1"...

So another month draws to an end, and in the next couple of days there are a few birthdays to celebrate. Mavi with be blowing out candles on Sunday, as will Patricia on Monday. Also on Sunday, Mariette will be christened. Enjoy !

Battle of the Whales, Healing Curry and Court (in)Security

An event until now not captured on film, the BBC have managed to witness humpback whales fighting of the female. The video is worth watching here. It's amazing how close one can get, and feel like you can touch them (without getting hurt or wet, of course).

What students have been using for decades as a hangover cure, the humble curry now seems to also have cancer-healing powers.
Now those students (who are now more grown up) have a new excuse for going down the curry house - just trying to keep healthy, my dear !

In Germany, the trial begins of a man that stabbed a muslim woman to death in a courtroom. The original case was about defamation in the playground, but obviously it's gotten a bit more serious than that now. Let's just hope that they check for weapons at the court doors this time around...

Another case of ID cards not adding up today. This time, it's been calculated from government figures about total cost of the scheme, and cost for each person, that in order to be self-financing (as the government has said it will be) there need to be 28 million people that voluntarily join the scheme (and pay up the 30 pounds for the privilege). That's nearly half of all people in Britain ! Good to know that we are talking in realistic figures then. Maybe it would have been better to join up with the national lottery, and for every ID card registered, you get a free chance at the jackpot millions? It might make it past the two thousand volunteers that signed up in Manchester then. I thought maths was obligatory at all schools. Even those which politicians go to...

Just popping out for a curry... ;)

Celebrity Hitmen, PC Nursery Rhymes, and Messed Up Monkeys

So you are doing a show of murders that are happening in your city. Things are a bit slow. What do you do? Well, this Brazilian TV host decided to set about ordering killings which just happened to be his rivals in the drug trade. I wonder if one should start investigating Crimewatch...

Political 'correctness' is coming into the BBC now, where they've just made the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme have a happy ending. Isn't there any topic that doesn't end up being savaged by such political nonsense?

Fifteen years ago, pregnant monkeys were given cocaine. Now their middle-aged children are showing the effects. The male monkeys that were inside the womb at the time of the drug intake are impatient, and have no self control. I suppose the female monkeys were like this at this age anyway, which is why they didn't notice a difference...

Keep those monkeys happy...

Driving Beer, PC Brain, Peruvian Food, and Conker Clampdown

We all know you shouldn't drink and drive. But how about driving your beer? That's what an German biker tried out, converting a beer crate into a sort of quad bike. Despite the police saying it was va very clever idea, they still confiscated it as an illegal vehicle. It isn't mentioned whether to go faster you have to drop balast, or drink a beer...

There are all sorts of addons for your PC. But I bet you never say a pulsating brain? Looking pretty life like, this gadget pulsates with the processor, expanding when the CPU is busy, and shrinking when it's running idle. You just have to see the video to believe it...

Peru is combatting the crisis by pushing it's food business. In fact, there are so many people interested in becoming cooks there, it's hard to find a place on a course. You could of course take the other route (preferred by this author) of just eating the food cooked by the peruvian cooks ;)
Here's waiting for some peruvian restaurants to appear around here soon...

I remember collecting a huge bag of conkers whilst doing the paper round and bringing them into school to try my luck in the one of the best playground games. It seems to have become a bit less fun nowadays, as officials in a village conker tournament in Gloucestershire have been checking all pieces of string, and putting the conkers in a vice to check that they haven't been tampered with. I suppose there will be no hot food being sold at this competition, as otherwise those unscrupulous players will be putting their conkers in the oven with vinegar to improve their chances...

Colombia is attracting tourists to an area that until recently was impossible to visit due to security fears. La Macarena is an area of natural beauty with it's famed red-tinted water, which is now attracting visitors doing eco-tourism. Hopefully this can keep up and the income can help to make more areas of this amazing country accessible to others...

Are you a fan of Friends? Or rather, were you? Well head down to London where they have built the Central Perk coffee shop and fitted it out with all the props that were seen on the set. Of course, the couch is the most attractive of them all to the visitors, as most of the filming was done on there, so get a drink, sit back and remember those good times...

Ever wondered what all the fuss was about in the playground when the latest fashion accessory is some cheapy plastic wristband? Well, wonder no more, as this article (commenting on an article in the Sun) explains it all. Just makes you wonder what really is going on behind those innocent faces...

The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has decided to change it's name that it has had since 1979 after realising that it might mean something else now. WTF will now be known as TFW (Tourism Federation of Wisconsin). Maybe they should have checked the meaning of this new acronym as well, as this page shows...

Now let's get those winter clothes out...

Two Weddings, Six Spanish Cities, and a lot of Friends

What a lot of news ! I don't know where to begin...

A few days spent in the Spanish capital Madrid, seeing Javi and Andrea (preparing themselves for their wedding to come) as well as Lourdes (with whom we had the cheapest three rounds of drinks ever - it cost us negative 6 euros). The city was also visited, taking in the sights from the Turibus, having a coffee at the Juan Valdez, and having some great vegetarian food with Andrea and a menu del dia with Lourdes.

It was then off to Valencia by train. Here we stayed with Gemma, Victor, Alejandra and the newly born Claudia. The wedding of Fernando and Valeria was what everyone was waiting for here, and so we also met up with Nuria, Sylvia, Joan, Luca, Albakra and Sofia, Jose Marques and Angela, Paolo, Ali and Luigi, Juanfran, Bruno, Carmen, and many others that I'm sure to have forgotten to list here. Fun was had by all.

From here we went down to Cordoba, where arriving at 7pm with 34 degrees, we realised we weren't going to need any warm clothes. Great Mezquita, again great food, and then it was off the next day to Malaga. More specifically Torre del Mar. Here we met up with Marilo and Julio with their newborn Javi. Time was spent sunbathing on the beach and generally enjoying the seaside life in October.

Flying from Malaga to San Sebastian, we arrived just in time to miss the bus, so had to make our way by taxi to the city. The place is amazing. A proper sandy beach right next to the old town, with pintxos to be eaten non stop. Here we met up with Albakra and Sofia, Paolo, Jaume and Maria Jose, Albe, Luca, Jordi, el Putogues and Francesca, and Juanfran to go off to the wedding of Javi and Andrea. Here we ate until we were full, and then some more. The wedding was great, the meal was also enjoyed, and the party afterwards was just perfect for letting down your hair. Definitely a trip to remember !

From here it was then off to Bilbao before making our way to Santander to catch the plane back to Germany. Arriving to 6 degrees was a bit of a shock to us after temperatures of 30 degrees above that in Spain.

So many people, places and types of food (just think of those gambas in San Sebastian...) and all in all a very enjoyable trip. Now let's prepare the next one...

Ammo Rationing, Nude German Rights and Intimate Millions

Rumours abound when people start fearing something is about to happen. Look at the US. People believing Obama is about to stop sales of weapons have been buying up every last bit of ammunition available to them. The factories have been working 24/7 to try to keep up with demand, and Walmart has been forced to ration the sale of bullets per customer. Yes, you read that right. I didn't know either that whilst buying my groceries I could also pick up a good few rounds of armour-piercing weaponry...

Those Germans. What have they done now? Well...seeing as they love nudity so much (although I must say the adverts on TV are definitely reducing the amount of flesh they show, thankfully), a campsite owner is creating the first nudist walking trail. Yes, put on your walking boots, thick winter socks, backpack, headgear and gloves, just leave your trousers at home...

So you are a truck driver travelling along a major road in Sweden, what would be more normal than pleasuring yourself at the wheel, right? Well, that's what this German truck driver did, whilst also high on drugs, causing his truck to tip over and block the road for over 10 hours. When police interviewed him to find out what happened he began to pleasure himself again in front of them. As you can imagine, the police were not too pleased, and took him away to their station.
Just imagine the calls from people held up going to work, phoning their bosses: "Hi, I'm sorry, I'm not going to be coming in to work today, I'm in a 10 hour tailback because of some German w***ker".

Staying with Sweden - apparently the military are being heavily criticised, as their uniform bras are exploding in combat. Yes, due to all that hard work they pop open or burn up, causing a fire beneath the rest of their clothing. Both cases require the quick removal of their outer clothing. Apparently there are plenty of military men only too willing to help them in their hour of need.
You may think that this would deter women from entering the Swedish armed forces. Apparently not. This year there are over 2000 young women who have signed up to join. I would love to draw conclusions, but it's probably best I don't...

Ever wondered what your Sex degrees of seperation are? Well, according to Lloyds Pharmacy (no direct relation) the average guy or gal in the UK gets around with 2.8 million people (no, you're not missing out on something here, don't get worried yet). These are statistics of taking your partner's partners, their partners etc for 6 degrees. Of course, the reason behind publishing these statistics are not too well hidden. You can buy a testing kit from said pharmacy for a princely sum of 75 pounds...

Private data is just much too handle nowadays. I mean, who wants the responsability to keep hold of thousand or even millions of people's personal information? Well Demon ISP obviously don't, as they sent out a file with all the data of 3600 customers in it, to those customers. So if you wanted to find out the username and password of New Scotland Yard, for instance, you just had to scroll. Maybe someday somebody will get reprimanded big time for such lapses of security...

So, another month drawing to an end, and this time a bit of a break for you. Yes, this blogger sometimes needs a rest too ;)

We'll meet again...

Japanese Gropers, Digital Inclusion, and Hospital Food Blog

First up, congratulations to Gema, who has just given birth to her second daughter Claudia. We can't wait to see her !

Of course, we can't forget Gigi's birthday either, albeit celebrated a bit late in an indian restaurant with a circling fly.

If you're out and about in Japan on the train system and female, then maybe it's worth checking out some websites to find out which lines not to go on, after a man arrested for groping a student told police that he chose that line because it got top marks for gropeability on a website he visited. And you thought there are some things not done yet on the internet...

Everything's possible in Second Life. Which is why it is also currently being sued for allowing counterfeit goods to be produced and sold. But these aren't just any normal goods, rather a specific type of sex toy that the creators claim have been copied by others, and the owners of the Application haven't done enough to stop it. I wonder if the laywers have to file their case from within the program...

The Office for Digital Inclusion (making all people have a computer, whether they like it or not) have managed to really spread the word, as their offices were broken into and all the PCs stolen. Sounds like that their marketing program did it's job then...

When you are laid up in hospital (yes, this includes Carlitos still) with pain, lack of sleep, strangers all around you, and very few friendly visits, you would hope that at least the food would cheer you up. Well, take a look at this blog, written from a hospital bed, detailing in pictures what gets served up at his bedside every day. I'm thinking of collecting all my tinned vegetables together and sending them across to him...

And for those students out there, if you are interested in getting hold of a copy of Microsoft's new operating system, then head along to this page, where you will be able to get Windows 7 for a measly 30 dollars or pounds...

Be thankful for your food...

Carnivals, Hi-Tech Wheelchairs, and Unhealthy Bed-Sharing


So, another August goes by, and another month of carnivals also survived. After the South American carnival from earlier on in the month, came the Notting Hill Carnival, which celebrates all things caribbean. Weather seemed to hold up, and many got to enjoy what is Europe's biggest street party.

Ever wondered why the wheelchair seems to look the same still as it did in the 1960s? Well, maybe you just haven't seen the latest technology coming out of Japan. Roll up their new product which includes such treats as integrated GPS and mounting from behind.

According to recent research, couples should consider sleeping apart in order to be able to relax whilst in bed. Suggestions like "doing it like the romans" spring to mind, but so do the early 19th century homesteads apparently, where there was enough space in the houses before the industrial revolution came about, to have seperate bedrooms.

According to a recent survey, some people actually believe that kebabs, fizzy drinks and crisps are actually oral contraceptives. Admittedly, if you've just eaten the aforementioned articles, it is definitely going to put any potential partner off, maybe that's what they were meaning...

A Swedish father has decided that he would like to be able to give children milk even when the mother is not there. So instead of just getting a pre-prepared bottle, he decides to massage his chest until after about 2 years he might have managed to produce about one drop of milk. I don't know if there exists a translation in Swedish for efficiency...

Ever wondered what the US government knows about you? Well, have a look at this article which contains the results of a Freedom of Information request, and contains gems such as full credit card numbers, expiry date, even of ones you didn't use for any booking in the US. Feel safe now? In fact, I wonder whether you are covered if these numbers get used fraudulantly? Do you have to prove that your number was on some government database in order to get any of the money back?...

Keep safe...

Pornflakes, Stolen Member and Mayoral Miscreants

This Friday saw the visit of Roberto the Italian (as opposed to Roberto the Frenchman). As can be imagined, a visit to the Eisgrub was due, along with Ali, Luigi, Carlitos and Olgui, a few tubes were taken care of...

So you open up a nice new packet of cereal, want to pour on your milk and put the freebie DVD in the computer and watch that keep-fit episode. Imagine how shocked you would be if not only were there aerobics to see, but also plenty of smut. That's what happened to one Swedish woman who said that although she was shocked, she didn't get put off the cereal. In fact she went down the shops to get another packet (to watch the next episode in the series?). So make sure you open the new packets of cereal before your kids get an eyeful of something they shouldn't...

When the Lego version of a giraffe in the Berlin Zoo had its tail stolen again, there were a number of articles about it. None, however, happened to change the story as they UK version of Yahoo! News. They got a bit stuck on where the bit of anatomy came from and wrote:

Visitors to a tourist attraction in Berlin have been making off with an unusual memento - the 30 cm long penis of a Lego giraffe.

Notice the careful use of double-entendres as well in that phrase...

Mayors can get found out for fraud, misuse of property, inappropriate expenses claims and taking bribes. But not many stand accused of breaking into women's houses in his district and stealing their underwear. Well, ok, he is no longer a mayor (he resigned after being arrested), but the ex-mayor of a Lancashire town called Preesall is accused of just that. It is not mentioned whether he intended to give them back at all...

Keep an eye on your underwear...

Scary Fungi, Scary Politicians, and Lots of Cheese

Ever thought that you should get a certificate for things you do every day? Well, a child from Bury was surprised to learn that he earned a certificate for getting on a bus. Before you laugh this one off, check the end of the article, where it mentions that this brother failed the test...

Twitter is the new texting, the new RSS, the new Facebook. Well, it's also the new botnet gateway, being used to tell computers where to download their latest payloads from. You have to give it to them, it's definitely a novel way of doing it. Let's just hope that it's just as easy to block them, otherwise Twitter will become known as the new malware...

Now for something not so nice. Sorry if you're currently eating...
A fungus has been discovered, that when eating away at living flesh, also controls the nerves and muscles of it's prey and turns them into zombies to go off to where the fungus can spread itself easier. Read the article, and then decide if you really want to do that jungle trip now...

On a similar note, a CDU politician in a district of Berlin decided there was no other option but to do something risque to try and win the local election. The problem is, she used a photo of Angela Merkel and herself, both in low cut tops, with the slogan "we have more to offer". Had they have been of some of Italy's politicians, then maybe it would work, but this...

The size wars have gone a step further now, with Tesco bringing into stock condoms of size XL after a growth in demand. Before you break out the champagne and laugh at the Europeans stuck with just L, take a look at the US where they already have XXL. Show offs...

Feeling a little down in the economy stakes? Got a bit of cheese lying around? Well why not use it as collateral for a loan with your bank. That's what the Italians do. In fact one of the banks which has been doing this since the 1950s has now got over 400 thousand parmesan rounds.

Now you thought that it was enough that Chavez decided to make the Venezualan time zone 30 mins different to what it has been, but spare a thought for the poor Algerians. Their weekend has been changed (again) and will now be Fridays and Saturdays...

Next time you are China don't be surprised if you get offered a piece of Stilton Cheese. Apparently, for the nouvelle riche, it's the status symbol, and western foods are used to impress business colleagues and partners alike. Finally an export market for SPAM...

And in case you are planning on eating rocket salad here in Germany, beware! It doesn't seem to have made it to the English-speaking press except for this one webpage from the Netzeit. Poisonous plants were found in packages of rocket salad in a Plus supermarket here in Germany, which cause damage to the liver. Check here for the information in English, and here for the original article from Der Spiegel in German. Best to keep with the iceberg lettuce then for now...But it always amazes me that this sort of occurrence (like the 5 year old meat that was sold as fresh) doesn't make it outside of Germany...Propaganda still seems to be working then...

And this weekend started off with a visit from Gloria, her sister with husband and child in tow. It was Gloria's first return to Mainz since our Erasmus year in 2000/1 so of course the visit had to include the (now finished) Theatre, Main Station, and of course lunch at the Eisgrub with a meter of beer. Great to see her again, and I think she enjoyed seeing Mainz again. Here's to the next time...

And tomorrow will be Roberto's turn to pay us a visit. Also a long time no see, but of the month variety, not years. Still, always good to catch up on all the gossip...

Don't eat green...

Banking Brothels, Saving Water and Wedding Trains

The economy is in a crisis, you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, so what do you do? Well ,maybe take a few leaves out of the Japanese banker's book. They have seen that the demand for brothels increase whilst other expenditures, like eating out, have decreased. So, now we know where all those finance people go after being laid off...

It's not just the economy that's in a crisis, so is the health of planet earth. Trying to help out, a Brazilian environmental group have released a video that's making it's rounds on YouTube, encouraging you to take a leak in the shower rather than flushing the toilet. Apparently it saves 12 litres of water per flush...

So what can a groom-to-be do to make his love stand out? How about, get his family and friends together to make the longest wedding train for his bride-to-be, reaching an astonishing 2162m long. The even sowed petals all over it. Apparently, though, the groom's mother didn't think much of the expenditure, and said it was a waste of money. At least the mother-in-law was probably positive about it...

Well, a humid week has been and gone, the thunderclouds are predicted for tonight, so hopefully it will cool off a bit for next week. Beatriz had her birthday picnic out by the river, enjoying the sun whilst one can, and Ester, Salvo etc came back from their Croatia trip full of enthusiasm.

Have a great shower...

Expensive Scotch and Housewarming

Ever wanted to taste a really good scotch? Got too much money that just needs to be spent? Well head on down to the Glenfiddich distillary and buy yourself a bottle of 50 year old single malt for the handsome sum of 10 thousand pounds. If you can't quite make that, how about a shot for 357 pounds?

So we went off to Diana and Jan's place for a housewarming party. In the headlands of Hechtsheim, their top floor flat looked out over the rooftops of the surrounding houses, as smoke came out of the BBQ, and the marshmallows were going soft, we all tucked into the home made salads to accompany the meat. Fun was had by all.

Well, a bit short today, but lots to do...

Real Balti, Dry Beer, and BBQ Bust-Up

Most of you should know by now that the best thing to come out of Birmingham is the balti. Okay, that's harsh. The best foodstuff to come out of brum is the balti. How's that? Well, in order to protect it's reputation and stop other people coming along and trying to pretend to serve up a real balti, Birmingham County Council is considering taking it up with the European Union to protect it's assets. Yep, prepare to see it alongside such protected names as Champagne, Wensleydale, and Yorkshire Pudding. Now where's my balti dish...

It shouldn't happen. It just shouldn't happen. But the Beer on the Wye fetival had to be called off early as they ran out of beer. Yes, you read it correctly, the visitors appeared to be so thirsty that despite picking up another 18 barrels on the saturday, they still couldn't keep up with demand. I don't know whether to praise the participants for setting a good example, or to condone the organisers for not being well enough prepared...

Ever wondered what sort of discounts you get for being a cyclist? Well head over to Berlin where the current offer is for a 5 Euro discount off an intimate affair (or as TheRegister accurately puts it "a pop"). Just don't forget to take off your reflective trouser clips...

Fancy having a barbie for your birthday? A nice small group of 15 friends burning their sausages and talking about the old days...just be careful you don't mention it on any social network site. After announcing one on facebook as being an all-nighter (open-end til the food or beer runs out), one man was surprised to see a handful of police cars, a riot van, as well as a police helicopter arriving to shut them down. They didn't even get the music plugged in. Maybe that's why so many people turned up to the Beer on the Wye festival...a lot safer...

Want to know where to get your next joint? Got an iPhone? Well look no further than this new application that let's you know where your nearest dispenser is, and has a list of local lawyers too in case you get busted by the cops. Takes all the fun out of asking dodgy people on corners...

Next time you go to a charity shop, take a good look before you pick something up, after a Claymore mine was dropped off at one shop in Colorado. Luckily nobody thought about packing it in a box with other items on top...

Ever on your bike and realise you're mobile needs charging, but don't have the time to do it at home before you need to go out again? Well why not use your own pedal power to charge it whilst you're on the move? Two students in Kenya have produced these pedal chargers and hope to be making some more soon once they've finished their studies. Next up you'll need to charge the bike GPS as well...

Keep safe on the streets...

The Real iPods, Chili Bombs, and Behind Crop Circles

If you're like me, you got fed up about 6 monhts ago about everything iPoddy. Well here's a piece of news that might cheer you up. The London Eye (yes, the big ferris wheel along the Thames) has started an upgrade to it's capsules, by floating the first one down the river. These capsules are otherwise known as pods, and they come from the London Eye...ok, never mind, moving swiftly on...

Think that the local curry house's vindaloo is a bit too hot for you? Well spare a thought for anyone on the receiving end of one of the Indian army's latest crowd control deterrents. It's a chili bomb. A grenade is filled with special chili powder that is about 1000 times hotter than normal chili. You'll need a gallon of lager to wash that down though...

Aliens or alien-wannabes are normally seen as the culprits of crop circles that appear all over the world in various forms. Well in Australia the secret is no more. Wallabies were found to have been eating poppy seeds and getting high on the opium within, that when they went around hopping, they couldn't do it straight, and went around in circles. Definitely sound more amusing to watch...

Ever wanted to see a volcano explode from above, but a bit weary about flying overhead? Look to the ISS for this great picture they took whilst passing by this eruption in the Far East. Amazing view...

And you thought that your church was a good sanctuary...not any more. One US pastor has held a service with the congregation bringing in their own weapons, saying that it should be celebrated that one can 'bear arms'...Thinking about this some more, maybe three was a misunderstanding when the original amendment was done to the US constitution. Maybe every American has the right to the arms of the bears. Also not particularly eco-friendly, but maybe a little less dangerous...

Before you go swimming in the local river, maybe it's worth taking note of what type of fish you might find. In the river Wear a rare blood-sucking fish was found (note the many teeth) recently. It's a thing of nightmares and horror films...I'll be going to the local swimming baths from now on...

Late breaking news is that the leader of Honduras has just been ousted by the military. Let's hope the situation sorts itself out peacefully in a short time...

Keep those toes out of the water...

Spanish Insults, Vegetable Revolution and Sticky Wallpaper

No sooner is one batch of news over and done with, than a few more stories catch my eye. So, part two of this week's news:

Want to let out your frustration and aggression from work before you get back home to the family? Well one barkeeper in Spain has decided that he will endure this for the good of mankind. The fact he thinks we need an invitation to do this is surprising indeed coming from a country that uses such obscenities in everyday language without raising an eyebrow...

Che would be turning in his grave. All that revolutionary spirit and strict beliefs...and what does his daughter go and do? Pose naked only dressed up in bio carrots and his famous beret for PETA...

Just got onto the netbook bandwagon, and decided that Windows 7 will be the best operating system for it? Just make sure you like Microsoft's colours, as they are not letting you change lots of settings like the background wallpaper...

Keep those colours free...

Crumbling Recession, Flying McDonalds and Sicily Vanishes

As the financial crisis takes its toll, people start to cut back on their luxury items. No longer wanting a second car, nor jetting off to those far off places. One thing apparently doesn't change in these circumstances - our appetite for food. We seem to go through our normal routines without turning to financial diets. Let's just hope the economy can survive on this in the long term...

Two Royal Naval officers have appeared in a Chilean court for apparently stealing a life size Ronald McDonald statue, and throwing it into the harbour. I bet they wouldn't have had any trouble if they had just thrown their burgers in there...

Alitalia has been a bit red-faced recently after it printed maps in its inflight magazines missing off the island of Sicily. When someone checks in a horse's head, you will know why...

If you didn't already know, the summer solstice has just begun. You would have noticed if you were passing anywhere near Stonehenge, where over 36 thousand people attended the rising of the sun on this day. And you thought you had to be a musical star to attract that many fans...

Google's StreetView has had quite a bit of bad press, due to the privacy implications of everything being filmed when it's cars drive by. Well this time it gets some good press out of it. In the Netherlands StreetView was used by a victim of a mugging to identify his assailants. Now if you could only track them back to their homes...

If the weather is still being good to you, you might want to head down to Brighton to celebrate the arrival of the thousands of cyclists that are making their way down from London in order to raise money for the British Heart Foundation. Of course, if you're in a car, you might want to avoid this route...

Dr Who fans everywhere should head down to Huddersfield to see the reappearance of a Tardis. And not for the television series, but actually being reintroduced for the local police force. Are we heading back to the good old days of old fashioned policing? Let's hope so...

Well, Karla's birthday party has been and gone, everyone enjoyed it, and now we have to get ready for a new week...

Keep out of the way of those Johannisfest revellers...

GPS Capers, Special Nurses, and Free Willy

So, we've heard about the people that follow their GPS blindly, even if it sends them from Birmingham to Liverpool via Calais, but how about the guys that bulldozed a house from it's GPS coordinated rather than an address? It was the first the owner heard about it too...

Ever wondered how life could get any worse than just being put in jail? How about if the nurse gives you an overdosis that makes you "stand up" for the next 3 days? You can imagine how that goes down in the communal showers...

And back to reality where Carlitos has been trying to survive on the hospital food here in Mainz whilst they operate on his leg. Here's hoping they let him out tomorrow and he gets back to normal soon. Okay, normal for him...

Don't walk under any ladders...