Open Skies, Joss-stick risk, getting wetless, and Portsmouth Posters

Research suggests that the use of Joss-sticks and incense increase the risk of cancer. So are we now going to see catholic churches putting up hazard signs at the entrances? Don't hold your breath...


A British company has found a method to make any material 100% waterproof. Expect to see beach-laptops, paper drinking glasses and shoes that actually stay dry inside...

Portsmouth Dockyards have been doing a promotional poster campaign recently that has had some unusual side effects. Just take a look at the posters, think of those sailors alone at sea for so long, and then have a laugh...

Ever seen sheep crossing the London bridge? If not, hold on to your hats, as a woman who was made freeman of the city will use her right to do this to help promote fundraising for Kent cathedral. As far as I know the law still exists that if a gentleman wishes to take a leek in the city, he may ask a policeman to shield him with his cloak. I wonder if anyone is going to try and exercise that right...

And finally we can now cook in peace. Yes, the hind-quarter showing, no-longer-breathing, sky-light-blocking bird has now been removed. What a relief.

And now the wine festival in Mainz is coming to a close, so make a last ditch attempt to see it whilst you can today...

Bird on Top

Not to make this predictable, you may notice there is only one headline today. But you'll have to read through the other news before you find out why. Oh, hold on, you don't, you just have to scroll...another reason why the internet spoils things for us.

For any of you wishing to read raunchy versions of the Belgian hero Tintin, you'll have to go back to hunting on ebay, as the latest comic strip "The pink lotus" has had to be pulled from the shelves after complaints.

Want to bump up your bra size a bit? Boyfriend ever get thirsty while out on the town? Then this new device is for you. It's a bra with inflatable/fillable bags inside, connected with a tube. The idea is to fill it up to the top with you tipple of choice (nearly a Freudian slip there), allowing you to strut you larger stuff around and as soon as said friend gets thirsty, he just takes a swig from the tube. I see a possible different use to this. How about needing the loo, and the ladies' queue is miles long? Then just fill up said tube in a dark corner and keep on partying! How about when the bags are empty (either not having been yet, or the drink's already been finished). Then why not just blow it up a few sizes? One might want to check for leaks though...

Notting Hill Carnival is on again this bank holiday weekend. Yes, get out your colourful clothing, and get down to London to party the day away whilst eating such specialities as jerk chicken and curry goat. In fact the history of the carnival, the riots and the race relations act is very interesting as well. Take a look at it here. If you want the lowdown of what is eaten on such an occasion, then check out the official site here.

Now onto the birds. One would assume that despite strong rainfalls, birds generally are able to protect themselves, hide under shelter, or just make sure they are well pruned with enough grease on their feathers. But then something has to happen to prove you wrong. So whilst Sara and Tati were going through the pasta and wine dinner chez moi, we heard a big thump. On looking up we can see a pigeon's hind quarters just popping over the sky-light window. Upon winding up and down the window a few times we came to realise that is wasn't just perched there, but fell out of the sky and landed there. So now whilst I'm cooking I can look up and see a dead bird's backside. How appetising...

Bon appetite...

Madge Birthday, America under Google Attack, London Crime

Today marks the 50th birthday of Madonna. To see a brief summary of her career check out the bbc link here. Happy Birthday !

Most of you know of Google Maps. It is used in reference in many other sites as a reliable way of mapping something that's happened. Well after Georgia was attacked by Russia this week, many people turned to this page to check out what was going on. They were astonished to see that the news article brought up a link to the American state of Georgia. Thankfully Bush did not order an attack on Russia as a result of this. Just goes to show how computer intelligence is still no match for a good brain...

Wanting to buy a house in London? Maybe just planning a trip around the city on your own? Well the metropolitan police department have created a crime map (yes, based on Google Maps...) to show you which areas have higher than average crime rates, so you can avoid those hotspot areas. Just make sure it is London, UK before you pay for anything...

And finally, anyone around Alicante today should try to pop by Alberto's abode. Here is where Albakra's stag party is taking place tonight. Let's hope the beer flows, the strippers dance, and no-one gets interviewed...

Have one on me...

The Orwellian Truth, Bad Citings and Van Gogh's Grass

Had a great 35 degrees in Valencia whilst also touring a bit around Oliva. Met up with people like Gema, Albakra, Sofia, Fernando, Luca, Nuria, Sylvia, Elena C, Elena P, Gloria, and Luis' family in Denia, all of whom were complaining about the heat, whilst using it as a great excuse to have another beer.
It was also the moment when Ortega announced to us about his plans to marry. Reports that his proposal went like this "sabes lo que te quiero decir?" or "has pensao alguna vez en..." are unfounded.

Interested in George Orwell? Want to know more personal details about him? Then get over to the blog of his diaries (first entry Aug 9th). These are not his political ramblings but more his day to day "went to buy bread" type of notes. Each day a new entry is posted as per his original diary.

The internet is great for researching. Never before have so many sources been available, and easily searchable. However a lesson from my old history class keeps on popping up in my mind. We were taught at length about not believing all we can see or that is written (examples were of a photo taken at the time of Hitler's rule in Germany - all people in photo appeared happy, behind the photographer what we didn't see was the military making sure that non-smiling faces were taken out). We were taught to look beyond the basics and ask questions about who produced the piece, what reason or motivation they had to produce it, and whether it was authentic and possibly typical.
I think that people in Chicago's jury did not go to this class, after their recent verdict was based on a statement on Wikipedia, where anyone can edit the articles anonymously...

If you ever wondered what famous painters painted before they got a good result, then thank DESY (the German particle accelerator in Hamburg) which has been able to reveal a picture of an unknown woman beneath his painting of a patch of grass. Maybe he wasn't pleased with the result, and got the wax crayons and scribbled all over it...

Any cows reading this should turn away now. These bovines are accused of damaging the environment through their frequent release of methane (through flatulence for instance). Despite there being just as many cases of this in humans (I can mention a good few), the cows get the full grunt of the blame. Now you can resume reading. So in order to help the environment, researchers in Australia have proposed changing from beef to kangaroo meat. Their stomaches apparently digest differently and so don't produce as much methane. I suppose it's from all that jumping around...

Keeping in Australia for a moment, a man has been sentenced to jail after being pulled over by cops for speeding. On investigation they found drugs, drug plants, and a rifle in his car. He had also apparently being doing the knuckle shuffle and filming it whilst driving at this speed. His long story could not make the judge believe that he found those items, and he was duly found guilty.

Companies are being persuaded more and more to be sparing with packaging and to recycle more. I don't think the message has quite got through to HP who sent out 17 boxes to a customer to protect 32 A4 pages.

The EU has made another attack on British measurements by outlawing the acre. Yes from now on we are only allowed to register new land in hectares. You can't fail them for trying, but you can definitely have a go at our government that didn't think it was an important issue and sent some lone junior minister to protect our standards...

People at Google have had enough of Wikipedia as well and have decided to produce their own version which shall be edited by people who know what they're doing. Is this a fight for standards or just another step towards world domination? You decide at knol.google.com.

An independent rwandan commission has accused France in playing an active role in the genocide of over 800 thousand rwandans in 1994. For a very good account of this along with everything else that has happened in the last 50 years in Africa, I highly recommend the book "The State of Africa" by Martin Meredith (search for it on amazon in the box to the left of this article - currently on offer at just over five pounds). Have recently finished reading it and found it amazingly enlightening.

And before we go out with Chelsea and her family for a bite to eat, last check of the weather shows that summer has been and gone. I must have blinked.

Keep on reading...

How to be English, Floral Pees, and Medals of Poverty

Whilst the heavens are currently falling down, what better thing to do than to update you on what's been going on.

So the Bierboerse was on this weekend in Mainz, so Carlitos, Luigi and I headed down there and did our fair share of tasting. A few steak rolls, donuts and sausages later and we're on to the Czech ones.

If it wasn't bad enough that the husbands are pulled along to the garden centres because their wives want to get the latest fashion in plants, but now going to the toilets there is made worse by the fact that they are installing floral urinals. Nothing like mother nature...

Polish migrant workers arriving in Dover are being handed out welcome packs with useful information about how to be English, talk about the weather, not talk about bowel movements when someone asks how you are, and that black tea is not being racist. Maybe one should also distribute these to some of our schools and see if some common sense also gets taught...

In Ghana medals to the value of 1.4 million dollars are being handed out to officials. This is obviously considered better for the country than, say, investing it in shelters or food for the population that lives in poverty. In fact this reminds me of Ethiopia during 1984/5 when Mengistu spent 150 million dollars on tenth anniversary celebrations whilst millions of Ethiopians were starving to death. This tragedy resulted in the Live Aid concerts taking place which raised over a billion dollars, but too late for the thousands of people who already had died. Sometimes people learn from history, sometimes they don't - but we need to learn how to react before it's too late.

Well, back to pulling down the hatches and stopping those storms from coming inside...

Vampiric Carrots and Shed-quarters

So the days go by, you think you're nice and relaxed at home until you wake up one morning and find your furry friend beheaded and all it's blood drained out. Not a very sweet thought I suppose, but that's how people around the Ruhr valley are feeling at the moment. Any rumours of the suspect being 4 inches long and orange are unconfirmed.

Following the theme of being comfy at home, and waking up one day to a surprise, a lady near Banbury also got a shock. She went to her shed and found a man living there, with a makeshift bedroom, TVs etc. Apparently he had been there for about 5 weeks, weeding the garden, potting her plants etc, but she hadn't noticed...

Tonight it's off to Darmstadt to see the Brittos (who, incidentally, are getting married on Sep 6th) and to try one of their local indian restaurants. A beer or two might also be in order...

Keep them cool...

Ingrid Free, Spanish Cup, Energy Snake and Valencian Visit

Something amazing happened this week. After six years of captivity, the presidential candidate for Colombia, Ingrid Betancourt, was freed. This high profile hostage was one of the Farc's best bargaining pieces, but she was rescued by the Colombian army pretending to belong to an NGO without a single shot being fired. Of course one cannot forget the other 14 hostages that were also rescued in the raid. You should really see the video that the BBC has of the raid - very moving. After the loss of many of their leaders, and now this, it is looking ever more likely that their war in Colombia might finally come to an end. Here's hoping...

Not many people predicted what happened in Euro 2008. After a lacklustre game against Italy, they really motivated themselves and managed to play an amazing game against Germany in the final. It really was inspiring how they moved the ball around the pitch with such ease, despite the game being spoilt later on by various bad fouls. You could imagine the noise which took place that night here in Mainz. Well, maybe you can't. As the end result finally sunk in we were making our way by train to the main station. On the platform various Germans started arriving from one of the many public viewings, most wrapped in their national flag, some just sat on the ground and started crying, others coped differently by either attacking the billboards, timetables, glass dividers or trying to shake the poles holding up the roof. We decided not to speak Spanish whilst waiting for the train...

The opening of the waxwork museum in Berlin had a little hiccup, as the wax sculpture of Hitler was beheaded by one of the visitors. One has to remember that in Germany anything to do with him or the Nazi party is strictly forbidden, so the opening wasn't going to be without controversy.

Next time you're swimming in the ocean and think you see something in the dark depths below, don't presume that it's a shark, as it could also be one of the 200m anacondas. No, not real live ones, but rubber ones which are meant to be able to produce a lot of energy from the movements of the water.

Gemma, Victor and Alejandra came over last week for their annual topup of Kebabs, sauerkraut and German culture. Of course any visit isn't complete without a meal at the Eisgrub, where we were also joined by Mar.

Then yesterday was the A4 and friends Summer BBQ. Much meat was eaten, and beer drunk (after being cooled to exactly the right temperature using machinery from the particle detectors...) and the meal was finished off with Nougat from Valencia. Yum!

Stay free..

Appropriate Monuments, Brothels on Wheels, and Ape Rights

So, no sooner said than the weather turns all grey, hailstorming and my dill in the windowbox starts swimming away. Oh, and of course the last minute goal trick of Turkey didn't quite work, as Germany copied that strategy...

Have you ever wondered how you will ever be able to convey the ineptitude of someone to future generations? Well, some San Franciscans have. Just so that nobody gets mistaken, they have proposed to name a sewage works after George W. Bush.

Feel like the zoo doesn't do the animals justice? Makes them unhappy? Then why not go to Spain, where they are proposing a law to give apes the rights humans enjoy. So expect to see the animals lounging about on sofas, drinking beer, and collecting social security cheques, serving you your next drink aboard a long distance flight, and coming to repair you fridge. Just don't mention try to take out the film Planet of the Apes...

Planning a great day out in Florida? Maybe a bachelor party? Well you can forget that limo with dancing girls within, as the police have just charged the workers with claims like "transportation for the purpose of prostitution". I'm wonder why such a law exist there...

Now back down to enjoying the sun, or rain, or hail. Oh, I don't know, anything?

How to make a Volvo exciting, safety of black holes

The weather's done another twist, and made it actually sunny for Wimbledon for once (despite everyone around Europe watching the UEFA Cup - the British stand strong and watch the tennis).

Now what you've all been waiting for, the magic feat of making a Volvo exciting. Yes, a man managed to get 13 people in it and drove around at 20mph before being pulled over. That was it. What more did you expect, a miracle?

Now after some speculation of the new LHC in CERN being able to produce black holes that will swallow the universe as we know it, a scientific inquiry has resulted in a long report stating that there is no risk to this universe, and that they will soon be switching on the power. So now you can all go and sleep at night again. Of course, they also said the same about there being no extra-terrestrial life...

So after the underdogs coming strong in the football, we only have 3 more matches to make it through. Following current statistics, that would mean, russia will beat spain, turkey will beat germany, and then russia will beat turkey in the final...let's see if that holds true...

Spray the oil...

Sudoku Judgement, Pig in Boots, Welsh UFOs and German Anthem

So how many of you have faith in the judicial system of your country? And how many of you believe you would do your duty well if asked to be a juror for a trial? Well, in Australia a drugs trial was aborted after it was noticed that some of the jurors were fervently writing notes during the proceedings, but in a vertical manner. Upon investigation it was found that they were playing sudoku whilst listening to evidence, apparently because they had got bored...

Most farmers believe they have seen everything. However, one was surprised when one of his pigs seemed to be afraid of mud. They soon found a solution though - fitting the animal out in wellington boots. You have to see the video :) Next to come are cats afraid of milk...

Now one for all you football fans out there. Yes, I know England is not playing in the cup this year, but for that we did have to English teams in the final of the European Championship. Anyways, here in Mainz city centre one tends to hear who has won a match without turning on the telly. The fans of the victorious team will go around in their cars honking their horns for a good hour or two before going back home to bed. This is okay for teams like Croatia, Holland, France etc, but as soon as the Germans win there's smashed bottles all over the streets, shouting into the early hours, and a lot of VW Golf and Mercedes honking. Well, if that wasn't enough, after yesterday's narrow win by Turkey, you can imagine the amount of noise there was. Cars full to the brim with people hanging out of the windows, sunroof, with the boot open all holding their national flags and shouting. And when the Turks go around honking, it isn't just for an hour or two. It's until their petrol runs out...

Keeping on the football line, swiss tv made a great mistake in their showing of the Germany against Austria match. When the national anthems were sung, subtitles were shown. However, for the German anthem, they showed the first verse of the hymn, made popular during 1939-45 and because of that no longer sung, which starts "German Germany, above everything...". You can imagine what the politicians here thought of it..

This time of the year something strange happens down in Wiltshire. Thousand of people dressed in weird gowns, hoods, with staffs and unusual names gather around Stonehenge and await the summer solstice. As the sun comes up it's light passes through a small slit between the stones and is said to be magic. This year about 33 thousand people attended despite some wet weather.

And for those of you who are still out there looking for signs of extra-terrestrial life, help is at hand. Welsh police sighted a UFO whilst out in their helicopter and tried to chase it. The official report has yet to be seen...

So, back on earth the football goes on, and Radio Bongo keeps playing some great tunes.

Come on you refs...

Rolling Cheese, Ageism, Safety First and Celebrations

It's a pity to start by mentioning the weather, but this madness is unbelievable. Throughout the week we've had temperatures ranging from 17 degrees at night to 34 during the day (yes, we're still in may...) and now we've got thunderstorms, hail, and pouring rain.
Someone's clock is really messed up...

So, onto the news. Everyone knows how the aussies like their beer. Well it will be no surprise then that a guy was caught with his beer strapped in the back seat of the car, and his child sitting on the floor. Beggars belief!

Anyone who has tried it, will admit that English cheese is delicious (Mature cheddar, red leicester, stilton etc). Well, something you may not know is that there is a celebration of the cheese whereby a big piece is rolled down a hill and people roll themselves after it. The slope was sometimes 1:1, and 200m in length and the cheese they were chasing was a double gloucester. Take a look at the video!

Now most of the younger generation have used social networking sites (you know, the ones that send you reminders to sign up as someone has listed you as a 'friend'). It has also expanded to some older people as well, some tailored for them, others just out of interest what all the fuss is about. One of these sites has now deleted all it's users accounts if their age is over 36. The reason behind this is that they could be sex-offenders. Following that logic I would ban all men from it too, as they are most likely to commit those type of crimes. Ah, and now that one has to treat women the same as men, well why not ban all females too...

Just coming back from your holiday, and whilst unpacking your luggage you find a tin containing drugs. What would you do? How about you just arrived in a country where carrying drugs could result being executed? Well, a Japanese man ran into this problem when a drug-sniffing dog at the airport failed to find the hidden merchandise whilst on a training exercise. Makes you feel secure when you're traveling, doesn't it?

Russian crackers managed to cause panic when they spread rumours about a local nuclear facility accident. They then proceeded to take down the news sites so that only the false information was available. Whoever said that the internet isn't a valid form of attack.

Here;s something you don't see every day. A brazilian aircraft has managed to not only take pictures of where an as-yet-not-identified tribe lives, but also caught some inhabitants in the picture. At first glance it looks like a scene from planet of the apes, and makes you think about how the 'uncivilized' people of the world still live. Very unusual sight!

Democracy, a very subjective word. In Switzerland the people will vote tomorrow on whether inhabitants wanting to become swiss can do so without an anonymous vote of the local inhabitants. They already require you to have lived there 12 years, speak the language, know it's laws and cultures, but that isn't enough say some. They want the people to decide (anonymously) whether they like the look of the wannabe-swiss from a photo and a short summary of where they come from etc. Opponents are calling it discrimination, but as the ruling party is trying to overturn the supreme court';s ruling from 5 years ago, it is now going to a referendum of the people.

And for those of you able to make it, there was a great celebration in the tiny village of Penn on the 17th. Yes, the post-wedding party took place with people coming from spain, germany as well as the UK to eat, drink and be merry. Everyone ended up rolling back to their beds after such a big feast. Well done to all the organisers !!

Keep counting those calories...

Non-Stop Hiccups, Theatrical Stripper and Online Latin

Everyone hears the stories of somebody that couldn't stop hiccupping, whilst being told to eat more slowly and not rush your drink. Well now there is actually someone who's got this problem. He's been hiccupping for the last 13 months. This might be considered an annoying but slight inconvenience, except that this guy is a musician. Yep, and he doesn't work for those natural body musicians...

Out of work, female and living near Norfolk? Then this may be a job for you. A local theatrical group are looking for a lady to strip off in their latest play. Apparently they haven't had enough offers yet. Will we get to see hopefuls performing on TV in the future a la Apprentice? Hold on, that's what Big Brother is for...

Got a Wii? Ever wanted to know how you could get your wife/girlfriend/neighbour to play with it too? Don't despair, the latest game is one of skill, balance, and body control. Yes, it's Wii Pole Dancing (pole included). Get your pre-orders in quick...

So you thought Latin was only used by clergymen, botanists, and medics? Now add internet surfers to your list, as the Vatican has gone online, creating a web-presence in Latin to help all of you budding latinists. Can't wait to see the incorporated chat...

Now for those of you who ever wondered what ever happened to those public information films you remember seeing as a kid, I've got the answer. This site has them archived in all their glory, so that you can peruse them and learn from them at your pleasure. Now remember kids, look both ways before crossing the internet superhighway...

So put on your sandals, bring your book, and get down to the river...

Smelly Art, Protected Sausage and Italian Salaries

What with the weather picking up now, it's that time of the year when the Mainz marathon takes place. This is similar to the carnival, in that all useful roads between where I live and where I work are blocked off for the most part of the day. This is not very conducive to getting work done...

In Sunderland, an art gallery has put on an unusual exhibition. It's all about smells. Examples include the Hiroshima bomb, the plague, and Cleopatra's hair. It hasn't been mentioned whether they make the smell of a good old fry-up next to the museum canteen...

After the Pork Pie's recent protected status, the cumberland sausage is at it too. Yes, this long curled up piece of meat is fighting for protection from those foreign imposters...

Just before the current italian government goes out of office, it made sure it would be remembered - by posting the salary details and registered taxes of all it's citizens on a webpage. Nice to know that privacy and identity fraud are top of the politician's lists...

Inhabitants of the Greek Island of Lesbos have decided they will take the jokes no more, and are taking the greek societies to court of their use of the name lesbian. Yes, they are fighting for their right (and nobody else's) to call themselves this name. Interesting to see what happens with this, and if the world over people will have to call themselves something else instead. Possible new names on a postcard please...

Well, last night saw the final birthday celebration of Olga, seeing as monday isn't an easy day for most people to celebrate. Visitors to our humble abode included Aline and family, Friedi and Marc, Salvo, the chichinos, Jackeline (Peru), Dani, Beatriz, Carlitos amongst others. It seems that the cheese platters went down well, as none was left over at the end. The salads and meatballs were also enjoyed, but the most successful item had to be Salvo's Guinness cake. Very nice...

So, get your running shoes on and try to get down to the river before the tired marathon runners come back...

St George, Bed Degrees, Hedgehog Star and Euro-Whiff

So the weather has been picking up, we actually had sun today! Unfortunately it was raining yesterday for Olga's birthday. Never mind, we still had great food (pity about the service though).

At school I always remember our football games got interrupted when a hedgehog decided to make it's way from the nearby bushes across out field. We always left it o do it's thing, as it was often said they were dangerous. I now realise just how dangerous they can be, as a Man in New Zealand was assaulted by one!!

Most people would love the chance to fly in one of the new A380 Airbus planes. However, I have my reservations, confirmed by finding out that they plan to cut corners on the bathrooms and fit in military style urinals. I can just imagine the plane tilting to the left, and the wall getting soaked...very nice for the next person...

The Independent gave out a new university guide last week, bringing in factors like student satisfaction. This sounds like a great way of finding out which universities swot up for their 'exams' but don't actually know how best to teach their students. But every silver lining has a cloud (or was that the other way round?), as they are now offering diplomas in selling beds!!! Oh standards...

It was always suspected, but know the Met Office was able to confirm. A foul smell that was filling up the air in the south of the country has now been traced as coming across the channel, from the Netherlands or Germany. This has earnt it the nickname of the Euro-Whiff. Insert witty anti-euro slogan here :)

Walking along the roads in London I was pleasantly surprised to not find any animal mess on the pavement (as opposed to Mainz, where you have to check every step you take). I think I now know why this is. They are scooping it all up and selling it as expensive coffee. I think I'll have mine without milk please...

April 9th is a special date in Colombia. In 1948 the future president was shot dead. Various events happened directly afterwards, but of course the most known is the start of the war with the Farc guerrillas. The BBC has an interesting article about this event that so changed a country. This is another occasion when a 'what if' question pops up.

Whilst over in the UK last week I managed to meet up with Nick one evening. He was awaiting his wife Victoria who was arriving back from the US early in the morning, so no drinking to report on. Due to fatigue, Saint George's Day went uncelebrated, maybe next year...

So, getting the grill all cleaned up, next weekend it's Barbie time !!

The end of the world, Congested receipts, Team for sale, Mozzarella woes

So, CERN is about to put it's finally finished Large Hadron Collider into use, and along comes a botanist from Hawaii and starts suing them for endangering the universe. I bet they weren't expecting that one. I hope they don't have to prove it in court...

The London congestion charge is a good step in the right direction of making the city a bit greener (or at least giving it more money to tackle the problem itself). And the possibility of paying online is another good step, cutting down on the paper that needs to be produced when doing it the manual way. However, a man from Kent was a bit shocked when, after filling out the form online, he received a truckload of paper receipts at his door. There were over 3000 of them! Just count those trees...

After having to dismiss the three members of his development team due to financial reasons, the ex-boss then announced their sale on craigslist. Yes, he said they were so good, and he was reluctant to let them go, but hopefully some other company will get to appreciate their value. Next up, s development team puts their boss up for sale...

Finally the open-skies agreement is coming into effect. This means air carriers no longer have to leave from their home country when flying to the US. So hopefully, that'll mean less stopovers, and cheaper prices. Well one can only hope...

Italy's mozzarella is now having trouble due to the fact that high levels of toxic chemicals were found in samples. Apparently the land where the buffalo graze was being used as an illegal dumping ground by the local waste disposal firm, that apparently is linked to the mafia there. So, I'll have the non-cheesy pizza then...

Scientists have now come up with evidence suggesting that cocaine use is not only bad for the person taking it, but also bad for the environment due to its effects on the biodiversity in the regions where it is produced. So, people caught snorting in future will be charged with environmental contamination as well?...

Bats are celebrating, now that a local council has introduced bat bridges to help them cross a busy road. Apparently they were constructed to replace the hedges that were taken away. They're still not green though...

Pork Pies are set to get a protected geographical status, as the European directive is currently going through. This will mean you will know if your pork pie a true Melton Mowbray or not.

After all the celebrations of the opening of terminal 5 on time and within budget, you have probably not failed to notice that there was a minor problem. Yes, the baggage controlling system wasn't tested fully, and meant up to 28 thousand pieces of luggage were not sent with their owners. This has led to hundreds of cancellations, and just as they thought they were recovering, along comes a snowfall and more flights had to be cancelled. Can't any projects go right???

So, make sure you label your luggage correctly, or just take hand luggage. I'm sure all your skiwear will fit in it...

Bear behind bars, real english, social networking problem, and sketching faces

A bear in Macedonia has been convicted by court of repeatedly stealing honey from a beehive. Apparently his defense was that he needed honey after somebody ate all his porridge. Whether or not he will have to do community service or get an ASBO prohibiting him from going within 100 yards of any beehive, remains to be seen.

Want to know the origins of the English language? Then don't take anything you find at this site seriously. However it is funny.

So what can go wrong if you only put in some information about yourself on one of the social networking sites? Well, in case you haven't read the news, read this article explaining how the info about the musical prostitute and the NY governor changed their lives and how it was found out. Now think again before you submit any more of your details...

Ever wanted to do your own mug shots, but couldn't quite get the hang of your etch-a-sketch? Ever wondered how they do it so well on CSI:Miami? Well, take a look at this site and you can have a dabble at doing it yourself. Scary...

Searching for net for all those interesting sites you don't want to I came across the following. FoodTube.net. People add videos of them making their favourite dishes. Great, I thought. I can let you all see how to make my speciality: Beans on Toast. No sooner had I got the result than I was forced to turn away. What's the point of having a perfect recipe and then adding a vegan sausage to it??? Needless to say, I will not be using this site again until it can show me how to make bubble and squeak properly.

In order to calm down the situation between Colombia, Ecuador and Venezuela, various local and international musicians got together and performed a concert for peace on the Colombian-Venezuelan border. Juanes, Carlos Vives, Alejandro Sanz and Miguel Bose were some of the star lineup which hopefully helped to calm down the tensions.

So now the easter bunny has come and gone, and everybody is feeling fat from eating all that chocolate. What better way of burning it off than for going for a jog or cycle ride. Hold on, it's freezing cold outside, and snowing. Never mind, some other day...

Stuck Toilets, Stolen G-Strings, Darmstadt Birthdays

So the weather has started to pick up. Despite having gale force winds the other week, a bit of warmth has come by, and one no longer needs to wear a scarf. Does that mean that summer's on it's way? Maybe...

In the US, a Kansas woman was found stuck to her boyfriend's toilet for over two years. Apparently she just didn't want to move from there. As her skin got used to the seat it actually grew around it, and so when she was taken to the hospital they had to surgically remove it from her. Sounds painful...

Finally heathrow airport has opened it's fifth terminal. And not only is it on time, but also within budget! It must be the envy of all government projects...

A postal worker in the UK was found to be opening parcels and stealing their contents. He was caught by a sting operation, where a bra and g-string were posted to a wrong address. After catching him opening the package on camera, the authorities questioned him and searched him for said items. Not finding them, he was asked to strip, whereby they found him wearing the g-string. The bra has still not been found...

Finally, our guy from Duesseldorf, sorry, Bonn - Johannes, had his birthday. Yes, he celebrated another decade in his current abode in Darmstadt. The fridge was duly filled with beer, the coffee beans started being ground, and the hamster was woken up. Yes, fun was had by all.

And remember not to sleep in the bathroom...

Snow, Lies, and Strikes

So no sooner than I say that we haven't had snow for ages and what happens? The sky clouds over and it begins to snow! Yes, we had about 30 mins of snow (which of course melted straight away) earlier in the week.

Ever thought that you understand the legal system? Okay, even a little bit? Well you'll have to rethink it again since in Italy the highest appeals court has just ruled that married italian women who are unfaithful are allowed to lie under oath to protect their honour. I wonder what the pope thinks about that...

On a rare occasion news about the strikes in Germany actually reach the international press. Normally you find full page spreads of how in France it's caused a tailback of hundreds of miles, but from Germany you only hear about a union strike affecting some transport. Well, finally the BBC has an article about the latest union strikes here. This hsa been happening every other week here since mid-2007, and is felt here as the trains are all delayed or cancelled, the buses and trams don't run, the kindergarten are closed, and the airport luggage handlers strike causing no hold luggage to be allowed on flights from German airports...it's weird that this doesn't make headlines outside of this country more often (maybe that's their way of making sure tourism isn't affected - don't let the news out of the country).

If you've ever been crossing a field and seen all the cow-pats along the route you've taken, I bet the only thing that crossed your mind was what a smell they cause. Well, a US dairyman took this thought further and created a bovine biogas plant from what comes out of the other end of his cows. It apparently can keep up with other power stations and provide enough gas for 1200 homes a day. Maybe there should be a government recycling initiative for manure collection...

Keep it green...

Anglo Earthquakes, Soft Police Dogs, Top TV Put-Downs and Birthdays

I remember winter when it snowed. And I mean at least 2 foot thick snow, where you could go sledging on your tea-tray down the slopes, build snowmen the size of a car, and when the milk arrived with it's frozen hat on top of the bottle (if the birds hadn't already eaten it away). But that's all gone. Warm winters, mild summers, the seasons are all messed up. This would also explain why we now get earthquakes in the UK!

The latest canine fashion has come. Yes, police dogs in Duesseldorf are getting their own shoes. Not as part of the latest fad of turning the green forrester-coloured policemen into more-internationally-recognised blue, but rather to protect their feet from broken glass. Anyone who has lived in a German city will recognise this as a local custom, smashing up any alcohol bottles in the street, especially if there is some sort of gathering in the city that day. You can't imagine what Mainz is like during and after the carnival...

Ever wanted to know how to put someone else down in a witty way? Ok, ever wanted to be able to reply to a put-down yourself? Well, you could do worse than using one of the TVs most popular ones, courtesy of the BBC.

Now for those that know him, Huese has undergone a change recently. Don't worry, he has not become a woman, he's actually become a German (that's meant to be a relief?). So next time you see him, remember to offer him a beer, split the bill for it with him, and throw the bottle on the floor afterwards...

A certain person who refused to come back to Mainz, and then did, and then refused to return to Germany, has now also done so. You will be able to find Jordi in Munich (when not travelling around Europe for his work). So if you're nearby, don't forget to honk your horn and maybe you'll get a tour of the dodgy side of this city (ok, not that dodgy, for that one would require Lobelto).

And finally, our beloved Lourdes celebrated her birthday on the 28th Feb, I'm not going to say how many years it was though :) And on Sunday our italian in Valencia (Luca) will be celebrating his as well. Happy birthday to you both !

Get into your hurricane shelters - the storm is on it's way...

Begging Geckos, Cheaper Tax Returns, and lots of Food

One sees them in the streets of most cities and towns, beggars are unfortunately a common occurrence in the modern day world. But who would have thought that other animals also behave like this? In Madagascar a gecko was caught on camera begging an insect for its honeydew. How sweet...

For those of you needing to do their tax returns for 2007 in Germany, then currently Amazon is offering the software "WISO Sparbuch 2008" at a good price. And if you put in this voucher code when ordering (WISOEUR5), you get another 5 Euros off (making it currently 23 Euros in total). Just use this link to buy it now

Now onto one of my favourite topics: Food. On Friday we went out to one of the best restaurants in Mainz, Ban Thai. After a couple of cocktails and a large amount of food, Ali, Luigi, Olgui and myself were able to roll back home. As if that wasn't enough, yesterday we had Friedi, Mark, Christiane and Indy over for one of Olgui's special colombian meals. A kilo of rice, another kilo of mince, and many other ingredients meant we ewre also in a very full state at the end of it. However, the wine helped it all settle down, and before we got to the Obleas and Bocadillos for dessert, a couple of shots of Aguadiente did the trick. All in all a very satisfying evening.

According to the radio, the temperature is meant to go up to 17 degrees celcius today. It is currently about 8, but one has to look at it optimistically, so better get ready for wander around as soon as the thermometer goes above the 10 degrees mark...

Eat well, and don't mention diets...