Bookfairs, Fartgas and other health dangers

The Frankfurt bookfair ended last weekend. For those of you that don't know the little secrets, go on the last day (a Sunday) and make your way to the International Halls 8 (English) and 5.1 (Hispanic/Italian). Here you will find many publishers and country representatives selling off their books at a very good discount rather than pack them into their bags and fly them back home.
Getting the RMV Kombi-Ticket is also a good tip, as it includes the transport links to and from the fair and covers Mainz.

During the Second World War, various encoding machines were built to hide the confidential military messages that needed to be sent. In Germany they used the Enigma machines, which were duly cracked by a team in Bletchley Park in the UK with the Enigma machine. Maybe you knew that. What is a lot less known is that Germany also sold the commercial (weaker) version of these machines to Franco in Spain. These were successful at keeping the messages secret from the republicans, but what Franco probably did not know, was that the British were able to decipher his messages as well using their newly set up deciphering machine.
Now the Spanish have found 26 of these machines that belonged to Franco and are in full working order. Maybe they could send them off to Bletchley Park to help raise funds for the Museum...

Nothing could be more sacred than our non-metric measurements, afternoon tea (with those little triangular cucumber sandwiches) and the talking clock. When students go out partying in their first year away from home, this is what they wake up to in the morning after having dialled it and left their phone connected all night. Then comes the phone bill to confirm it, just in case they don't believe that it really happened to them. Well this age old tradition is now being gimmicked up with sponsorship from Disney. Yes, Tinkerbell will now be telling you in dulcet tones what hour of the day it is (and probably strongly suggesting you go and see her new film...)
What next? Big Ben sponsored by Nokia, having the SMS ring tones coming up every hour? Or even worse, the Crazy Frog one...

A woman in Japan has been put in jail after virtually murdering her virtual husband. She was not, however, put away for the virtual murder itself, rather for the stealing of the other gamer's login credentials. It's amazing what headlines one can get out of a story like that though...

Stink bombs smell bad. We all know that, that's why they sell. What we didn't know until now was that they also can help to control blood pressure. Yes, you read that correctly. So next time you smell an odour in the air, take a deep whiff (and prey that it was in fact a stink bomb and not the real thing...)

Keep sniffing...

Micha Visit, Tough Deodorants, No Known Abode

Faces from the past - Micha came over to Mainz yesterday as he was in Frankfurt for the book festival. The usual Eisgrub meeting went ahead (Carlitos, Luigi, Fidel, Mamen, Ali, Olgui were all present), lots of beer flowed and not many people are able to get up this morning.

Ever wanted to let someone know that maybe they need to cover up their odours? Look no further than Wal-Mart in Canada. They have the real thing, and that's for sure - check it out.

A legal case being brought against God has been dismissed, but not quite for the reason one would expect. It was agreed that He does exist, and therefore can be sued. However, as He is of no fixed abode it is impossible to serve him the papers for a court appearance.

Spare a thought for the San Cayetano Football Club from Peru. After losing their game 10-0, their bus was forced over the edge of a cliff by robbers and fell 600 feet killing 3 players and 2 of the owners...

Now it's off to the book festival to pick up some great bargains...

Weddings Galore and Animals in Need

Again there was a wedding of close friends here in Germany. Friedi and Marc tied the knot on Friday, with food and drink being served soon after, and not stopping until about midnight. Of course, this being Germany, we have the church wedding to look forward to next year as well :)
And again in Valencia two souls joined together and got hitched. And both of them wore dresses (you can decide who looked better in them). So the wee lass Angie and her now husband Jose (Marques to the rest of us) partied on down and exchanged rings also this weekend.
May both couples celebrate many more (years together - not weddings) and remember these moments just as long.

Ever seen a blue pig? Not likely. Well, the fire brigade in Derbyshire did when they rescued a pig out of the canal on a cold night. It has yet to be confirmed what it was doing in there (rumours say the backstroke).

After a sheep refused to budge from a Welsh motorway last week, police took out their tasers and gave it an electric shock. People stood in disbelief, wondering where this trigger-happiness came from. Well, at least it wasn't a real gun, otherwise there would be mutton stew on the menus in the local restaurant...

School kids, so innocent aren't they? Well think again if one of them decides to offer you some fresh home-made muffins. They may not be all that innocent as two teachers found out after being taken to hospital after ingesting the cannabis they were baked with...

So, weather's messing about again. At least it was good for the wedding.

Keep those animals on a leash...

Jedi Degree, Red Light Gallery and Last of Grange Hill

Want to learn how to be a Jedi? Then sign up to the Belfast University one-day course starting in November. Just remember not to go over to the dark side...

Something like nostalgia came back when I heard that the BBC tv-series Grange Hill has shown its last episode. This is a series that's been going on since I was at primary school. Despite not having watched it for probably 18 years, it's intro music always gets stuck in your head when you think about it. Lets hope whatever they use to replace it is also memorable enough (for good reasons).

Want to see the 'sights' of Amsterdam without actually crossing the channel? Then head down to the national gallery, where an exhibition of the red light district is currently being shown (no, they're not real people in the windows...).

For those broccoli lovers out there (yes, Olga, that's you :) take heart in the fact that research now suggests that eating this vegetable helps your lungs against serious diseases. Put that together with the research from not long ago that broccoli also protects you against diabetes effects on blood vessels. So get some of it on your plate now !

As the world championship of conkers gets underway, a health and safety office has decided to back the event in order to show they don't want to be spoilsports in such fun and games. So get your conkers in the oven, the vinegar out, and thread those strings through.

As the preparations for the tailgating in Ann Arbor get underway, let's see if a miracle can happen, and Michigan can actually win...

Eat your greens...

Importance of Online News Sites, French Big Sister, and More Para-Golds

So nobody really reads news stories online, you say? Well, due to a 6-year-old story about United Airlines appearing on the Google News Site this week, United's share prices fell 75% !!! Obviously someone important was reading that story...

I couldn't believe what I was reading in this article on the Register which tells about a database of French people being created of anyone likely to cause trouble. This list includes politicians, businessmen, trade unionists etc. Apparently it will be converged with the new biometric ID cards in France, in order to have a complete picture of anyone that might at some point become interesting...sounds like the UK version gone awry...

So you're not quite following the Tour de France since Armstrong left it in 2005? Pack you yellow jersey and book your flights, he's coming back out of retirement for the 2009 race. Let's see if the sport gets an image boost through this...

The Olympics might have been a triumph for the UK, but the Paralympics are becoming a dream. Great Britain is currently in second place to China, with a total of 61 medals (29 of them gold). Well done team GB !!

Can't wait for 2012...

Weddings, Drugs and a Lump of Sugar

Yesterday was a special day. Yes, Britta and Johannes got married in Darmstadt (after 10 years of being together) to the delight of many children. The drinks flowed, the sketches were hilarious, and fun was had by all.
In another city in another country, another couple also got married. After nearly as many years together, Alberto (Albakra) and Sofia tied the knot in Valencia.
So to both couples congratulations are sent out, and may they celebrate many happy years more.

The latest sporting drugs scandal has been declared. No, not in cycling, nor in running, but in Sumo wrestling. Yes, no longer can you assume that those hefty sportsmen are so dedicated to their sport, as a number were found to have been taking marijuana. Yep, steroids are not needed for this sport, they obviously need to relax after a sweat-filed game...

Another unbelievable story is that of an elephant in China that was recovered from illegal traders and found to be having withdrawal symptoms. Apparently the traders had been feeding it with heroin-injected bananas. After a spell in rehab, it seems like it has been cured of it's addiction, and now only requests clean bananas hand-picked by girls dressed in hula-hula dresses...

The Czech government has come into controversy after a new PR campaign to let it's inhabitants know about its forthcoming presidency of the EU. It used a saying about making the EU sweeter with a lump of sugar which also means to make it taste it's own medicine apparently. There are no translation problems to blame, those are the two meanings in the Czech language. The questions for the president are flooding in...

And after having made it to forth place in the Beijing Olympics, Great Britain is now leading the board in the Paralympics with 4 gold medals after only one day. Let's wish them all the best for the rest of the Games...

Sixteen years is a long time in politics. Especially when there are no democratic elections.
Well after that amount of time without, Angola has just held it's parliamentary elections which observers say seemed to be fair. Let's hope the African Nation picks up it's pieces after the civil war and manages to make the best use of all its natural resources.

Back to the autumn...

Open Skies, Joss-stick risk, getting wetless, and Portsmouth Posters

Research suggests that the use of Joss-sticks and incense increase the risk of cancer. So are we now going to see catholic churches putting up hazard signs at the entrances? Don't hold your breath...


A British company has found a method to make any material 100% waterproof. Expect to see beach-laptops, paper drinking glasses and shoes that actually stay dry inside...

Portsmouth Dockyards have been doing a promotional poster campaign recently that has had some unusual side effects. Just take a look at the posters, think of those sailors alone at sea for so long, and then have a laugh...

Ever seen sheep crossing the London bridge? If not, hold on to your hats, as a woman who was made freeman of the city will use her right to do this to help promote fundraising for Kent cathedral. As far as I know the law still exists that if a gentleman wishes to take a leek in the city, he may ask a policeman to shield him with his cloak. I wonder if anyone is going to try and exercise that right...

And finally we can now cook in peace. Yes, the hind-quarter showing, no-longer-breathing, sky-light-blocking bird has now been removed. What a relief.

And now the wine festival in Mainz is coming to a close, so make a last ditch attempt to see it whilst you can today...

Bird on Top

Not to make this predictable, you may notice there is only one headline today. But you'll have to read through the other news before you find out why. Oh, hold on, you don't, you just have to scroll...another reason why the internet spoils things for us.

For any of you wishing to read raunchy versions of the Belgian hero Tintin, you'll have to go back to hunting on ebay, as the latest comic strip "The pink lotus" has had to be pulled from the shelves after complaints.

Want to bump up your bra size a bit? Boyfriend ever get thirsty while out on the town? Then this new device is for you. It's a bra with inflatable/fillable bags inside, connected with a tube. The idea is to fill it up to the top with you tipple of choice (nearly a Freudian slip there), allowing you to strut you larger stuff around and as soon as said friend gets thirsty, he just takes a swig from the tube. I see a possible different use to this. How about needing the loo, and the ladies' queue is miles long? Then just fill up said tube in a dark corner and keep on partying! How about when the bags are empty (either not having been yet, or the drink's already been finished). Then why not just blow it up a few sizes? One might want to check for leaks though...

Notting Hill Carnival is on again this bank holiday weekend. Yes, get out your colourful clothing, and get down to London to party the day away whilst eating such specialities as jerk chicken and curry goat. In fact the history of the carnival, the riots and the race relations act is very interesting as well. Take a look at it here. If you want the lowdown of what is eaten on such an occasion, then check out the official site here.

Now onto the birds. One would assume that despite strong rainfalls, birds generally are able to protect themselves, hide under shelter, or just make sure they are well pruned with enough grease on their feathers. But then something has to happen to prove you wrong. So whilst Sara and Tati were going through the pasta and wine dinner chez moi, we heard a big thump. On looking up we can see a pigeon's hind quarters just popping over the sky-light window. Upon winding up and down the window a few times we came to realise that is wasn't just perched there, but fell out of the sky and landed there. So now whilst I'm cooking I can look up and see a dead bird's backside. How appetising...

Bon appetite...

Madge Birthday, America under Google Attack, London Crime

Today marks the 50th birthday of Madonna. To see a brief summary of her career check out the bbc link here. Happy Birthday !

Most of you know of Google Maps. It is used in reference in many other sites as a reliable way of mapping something that's happened. Well after Georgia was attacked by Russia this week, many people turned to this page to check out what was going on. They were astonished to see that the news article brought up a link to the American state of Georgia. Thankfully Bush did not order an attack on Russia as a result of this. Just goes to show how computer intelligence is still no match for a good brain...

Wanting to buy a house in London? Maybe just planning a trip around the city on your own? Well the metropolitan police department have created a crime map (yes, based on Google Maps...) to show you which areas have higher than average crime rates, so you can avoid those hotspot areas. Just make sure it is London, UK before you pay for anything...

And finally, anyone around Alicante today should try to pop by Alberto's abode. Here is where Albakra's stag party is taking place tonight. Let's hope the beer flows, the strippers dance, and no-one gets interviewed...

Have one on me...

The Orwellian Truth, Bad Citings and Van Gogh's Grass

Had a great 35 degrees in Valencia whilst also touring a bit around Oliva. Met up with people like Gema, Albakra, Sofia, Fernando, Luca, Nuria, Sylvia, Elena C, Elena P, Gloria, and Luis' family in Denia, all of whom were complaining about the heat, whilst using it as a great excuse to have another beer.
It was also the moment when Ortega announced to us about his plans to marry. Reports that his proposal went like this "sabes lo que te quiero decir?" or "has pensao alguna vez en..." are unfounded.

Interested in George Orwell? Want to know more personal details about him? Then get over to the blog of his diaries (first entry Aug 9th). These are not his political ramblings but more his day to day "went to buy bread" type of notes. Each day a new entry is posted as per his original diary.

The internet is great for researching. Never before have so many sources been available, and easily searchable. However a lesson from my old history class keeps on popping up in my mind. We were taught at length about not believing all we can see or that is written (examples were of a photo taken at the time of Hitler's rule in Germany - all people in photo appeared happy, behind the photographer what we didn't see was the military making sure that non-smiling faces were taken out). We were taught to look beyond the basics and ask questions about who produced the piece, what reason or motivation they had to produce it, and whether it was authentic and possibly typical.
I think that people in Chicago's jury did not go to this class, after their recent verdict was based on a statement on Wikipedia, where anyone can edit the articles anonymously...

If you ever wondered what famous painters painted before they got a good result, then thank DESY (the German particle accelerator in Hamburg) which has been able to reveal a picture of an unknown woman beneath his painting of a patch of grass. Maybe he wasn't pleased with the result, and got the wax crayons and scribbled all over it...

Any cows reading this should turn away now. These bovines are accused of damaging the environment through their frequent release of methane (through flatulence for instance). Despite there being just as many cases of this in humans (I can mention a good few), the cows get the full grunt of the blame. Now you can resume reading. So in order to help the environment, researchers in Australia have proposed changing from beef to kangaroo meat. Their stomaches apparently digest differently and so don't produce as much methane. I suppose it's from all that jumping around...

Keeping in Australia for a moment, a man has been sentenced to jail after being pulled over by cops for speeding. On investigation they found drugs, drug plants, and a rifle in his car. He had also apparently being doing the knuckle shuffle and filming it whilst driving at this speed. His long story could not make the judge believe that he found those items, and he was duly found guilty.

Companies are being persuaded more and more to be sparing with packaging and to recycle more. I don't think the message has quite got through to HP who sent out 17 boxes to a customer to protect 32 A4 pages.

The EU has made another attack on British measurements by outlawing the acre. Yes from now on we are only allowed to register new land in hectares. You can't fail them for trying, but you can definitely have a go at our government that didn't think it was an important issue and sent some lone junior minister to protect our standards...

People at Google have had enough of Wikipedia as well and have decided to produce their own version which shall be edited by people who know what they're doing. Is this a fight for standards or just another step towards world domination? You decide at knol.google.com.

An independent rwandan commission has accused France in playing an active role in the genocide of over 800 thousand rwandans in 1994. For a very good account of this along with everything else that has happened in the last 50 years in Africa, I highly recommend the book "The State of Africa" by Martin Meredith (search for it on amazon in the box to the left of this article - currently on offer at just over five pounds). Have recently finished reading it and found it amazingly enlightening.

And before we go out with Chelsea and her family for a bite to eat, last check of the weather shows that summer has been and gone. I must have blinked.

Keep on reading...

How to be English, Floral Pees, and Medals of Poverty

Whilst the heavens are currently falling down, what better thing to do than to update you on what's been going on.

So the Bierboerse was on this weekend in Mainz, so Carlitos, Luigi and I headed down there and did our fair share of tasting. A few steak rolls, donuts and sausages later and we're on to the Czech ones.

If it wasn't bad enough that the husbands are pulled along to the garden centres because their wives want to get the latest fashion in plants, but now going to the toilets there is made worse by the fact that they are installing floral urinals. Nothing like mother nature...

Polish migrant workers arriving in Dover are being handed out welcome packs with useful information about how to be English, talk about the weather, not talk about bowel movements when someone asks how you are, and that black tea is not being racist. Maybe one should also distribute these to some of our schools and see if some common sense also gets taught...

In Ghana medals to the value of 1.4 million dollars are being handed out to officials. This is obviously considered better for the country than, say, investing it in shelters or food for the population that lives in poverty. In fact this reminds me of Ethiopia during 1984/5 when Mengistu spent 150 million dollars on tenth anniversary celebrations whilst millions of Ethiopians were starving to death. This tragedy resulted in the Live Aid concerts taking place which raised over a billion dollars, but too late for the thousands of people who already had died. Sometimes people learn from history, sometimes they don't - but we need to learn how to react before it's too late.

Well, back to pulling down the hatches and stopping those storms from coming inside...

Vampiric Carrots and Shed-quarters

So the days go by, you think you're nice and relaxed at home until you wake up one morning and find your furry friend beheaded and all it's blood drained out. Not a very sweet thought I suppose, but that's how people around the Ruhr valley are feeling at the moment. Any rumours of the suspect being 4 inches long and orange are unconfirmed.

Following the theme of being comfy at home, and waking up one day to a surprise, a lady near Banbury also got a shock. She went to her shed and found a man living there, with a makeshift bedroom, TVs etc. Apparently he had been there for about 5 weeks, weeding the garden, potting her plants etc, but she hadn't noticed...

Tonight it's off to Darmstadt to see the Brittos (who, incidentally, are getting married on Sep 6th) and to try one of their local indian restaurants. A beer or two might also be in order...

Keep them cool...

Ingrid Free, Spanish Cup, Energy Snake and Valencian Visit

Something amazing happened this week. After six years of captivity, the presidential candidate for Colombia, Ingrid Betancourt, was freed. This high profile hostage was one of the Farc's best bargaining pieces, but she was rescued by the Colombian army pretending to belong to an NGO without a single shot being fired. Of course one cannot forget the other 14 hostages that were also rescued in the raid. You should really see the video that the BBC has of the raid - very moving. After the loss of many of their leaders, and now this, it is looking ever more likely that their war in Colombia might finally come to an end. Here's hoping...

Not many people predicted what happened in Euro 2008. After a lacklustre game against Italy, they really motivated themselves and managed to play an amazing game against Germany in the final. It really was inspiring how they moved the ball around the pitch with such ease, despite the game being spoilt later on by various bad fouls. You could imagine the noise which took place that night here in Mainz. Well, maybe you can't. As the end result finally sunk in we were making our way by train to the main station. On the platform various Germans started arriving from one of the many public viewings, most wrapped in their national flag, some just sat on the ground and started crying, others coped differently by either attacking the billboards, timetables, glass dividers or trying to shake the poles holding up the roof. We decided not to speak Spanish whilst waiting for the train...

The opening of the waxwork museum in Berlin had a little hiccup, as the wax sculpture of Hitler was beheaded by one of the visitors. One has to remember that in Germany anything to do with him or the Nazi party is strictly forbidden, so the opening wasn't going to be without controversy.

Next time you're swimming in the ocean and think you see something in the dark depths below, don't presume that it's a shark, as it could also be one of the 200m anacondas. No, not real live ones, but rubber ones which are meant to be able to produce a lot of energy from the movements of the water.

Gemma, Victor and Alejandra came over last week for their annual topup of Kebabs, sauerkraut and German culture. Of course any visit isn't complete without a meal at the Eisgrub, where we were also joined by Mar.

Then yesterday was the A4 and friends Summer BBQ. Much meat was eaten, and beer drunk (after being cooled to exactly the right temperature using machinery from the particle detectors...) and the meal was finished off with Nougat from Valencia. Yum!

Stay free..

Appropriate Monuments, Brothels on Wheels, and Ape Rights

So, no sooner said than the weather turns all grey, hailstorming and my dill in the windowbox starts swimming away. Oh, and of course the last minute goal trick of Turkey didn't quite work, as Germany copied that strategy...

Have you ever wondered how you will ever be able to convey the ineptitude of someone to future generations? Well, some San Franciscans have. Just so that nobody gets mistaken, they have proposed to name a sewage works after George W. Bush.

Feel like the zoo doesn't do the animals justice? Makes them unhappy? Then why not go to Spain, where they are proposing a law to give apes the rights humans enjoy. So expect to see the animals lounging about on sofas, drinking beer, and collecting social security cheques, serving you your next drink aboard a long distance flight, and coming to repair you fridge. Just don't mention try to take out the film Planet of the Apes...

Planning a great day out in Florida? Maybe a bachelor party? Well you can forget that limo with dancing girls within, as the police have just charged the workers with claims like "transportation for the purpose of prostitution". I'm wonder why such a law exist there...

Now back down to enjoying the sun, or rain, or hail. Oh, I don't know, anything?

How to make a Volvo exciting, safety of black holes

The weather's done another twist, and made it actually sunny for Wimbledon for once (despite everyone around Europe watching the UEFA Cup - the British stand strong and watch the tennis).

Now what you've all been waiting for, the magic feat of making a Volvo exciting. Yes, a man managed to get 13 people in it and drove around at 20mph before being pulled over. That was it. What more did you expect, a miracle?

Now after some speculation of the new LHC in CERN being able to produce black holes that will swallow the universe as we know it, a scientific inquiry has resulted in a long report stating that there is no risk to this universe, and that they will soon be switching on the power. So now you can all go and sleep at night again. Of course, they also said the same about there being no extra-terrestrial life...

So after the underdogs coming strong in the football, we only have 3 more matches to make it through. Following current statistics, that would mean, russia will beat spain, turkey will beat germany, and then russia will beat turkey in the final...let's see if that holds true...

Spray the oil...

Sudoku Judgement, Pig in Boots, Welsh UFOs and German Anthem

So how many of you have faith in the judicial system of your country? And how many of you believe you would do your duty well if asked to be a juror for a trial? Well, in Australia a drugs trial was aborted after it was noticed that some of the jurors were fervently writing notes during the proceedings, but in a vertical manner. Upon investigation it was found that they were playing sudoku whilst listening to evidence, apparently because they had got bored...

Most farmers believe they have seen everything. However, one was surprised when one of his pigs seemed to be afraid of mud. They soon found a solution though - fitting the animal out in wellington boots. You have to see the video :) Next to come are cats afraid of milk...

Now one for all you football fans out there. Yes, I know England is not playing in the cup this year, but for that we did have to English teams in the final of the European Championship. Anyways, here in Mainz city centre one tends to hear who has won a match without turning on the telly. The fans of the victorious team will go around in their cars honking their horns for a good hour or two before going back home to bed. This is okay for teams like Croatia, Holland, France etc, but as soon as the Germans win there's smashed bottles all over the streets, shouting into the early hours, and a lot of VW Golf and Mercedes honking. Well, if that wasn't enough, after yesterday's narrow win by Turkey, you can imagine the amount of noise there was. Cars full to the brim with people hanging out of the windows, sunroof, with the boot open all holding their national flags and shouting. And when the Turks go around honking, it isn't just for an hour or two. It's until their petrol runs out...

Keeping on the football line, swiss tv made a great mistake in their showing of the Germany against Austria match. When the national anthems were sung, subtitles were shown. However, for the German anthem, they showed the first verse of the hymn, made popular during 1939-45 and because of that no longer sung, which starts "German Germany, above everything...". You can imagine what the politicians here thought of it..

This time of the year something strange happens down in Wiltshire. Thousand of people dressed in weird gowns, hoods, with staffs and unusual names gather around Stonehenge and await the summer solstice. As the sun comes up it's light passes through a small slit between the stones and is said to be magic. This year about 33 thousand people attended despite some wet weather.

And for those of you who are still out there looking for signs of extra-terrestrial life, help is at hand. Welsh police sighted a UFO whilst out in their helicopter and tried to chase it. The official report has yet to be seen...

So, back on earth the football goes on, and Radio Bongo keeps playing some great tunes.

Come on you refs...

Rolling Cheese, Ageism, Safety First and Celebrations

It's a pity to start by mentioning the weather, but this madness is unbelievable. Throughout the week we've had temperatures ranging from 17 degrees at night to 34 during the day (yes, we're still in may...) and now we've got thunderstorms, hail, and pouring rain.
Someone's clock is really messed up...

So, onto the news. Everyone knows how the aussies like their beer. Well it will be no surprise then that a guy was caught with his beer strapped in the back seat of the car, and his child sitting on the floor. Beggars belief!

Anyone who has tried it, will admit that English cheese is delicious (Mature cheddar, red leicester, stilton etc). Well, something you may not know is that there is a celebration of the cheese whereby a big piece is rolled down a hill and people roll themselves after it. The slope was sometimes 1:1, and 200m in length and the cheese they were chasing was a double gloucester. Take a look at the video!

Now most of the younger generation have used social networking sites (you know, the ones that send you reminders to sign up as someone has listed you as a 'friend'). It has also expanded to some older people as well, some tailored for them, others just out of interest what all the fuss is about. One of these sites has now deleted all it's users accounts if their age is over 36. The reason behind this is that they could be sex-offenders. Following that logic I would ban all men from it too, as they are most likely to commit those type of crimes. Ah, and now that one has to treat women the same as men, well why not ban all females too...

Just coming back from your holiday, and whilst unpacking your luggage you find a tin containing drugs. What would you do? How about you just arrived in a country where carrying drugs could result being executed? Well, a Japanese man ran into this problem when a drug-sniffing dog at the airport failed to find the hidden merchandise whilst on a training exercise. Makes you feel secure when you're traveling, doesn't it?

Russian crackers managed to cause panic when they spread rumours about a local nuclear facility accident. They then proceeded to take down the news sites so that only the false information was available. Whoever said that the internet isn't a valid form of attack.

Here;s something you don't see every day. A brazilian aircraft has managed to not only take pictures of where an as-yet-not-identified tribe lives, but also caught some inhabitants in the picture. At first glance it looks like a scene from planet of the apes, and makes you think about how the 'uncivilized' people of the world still live. Very unusual sight!

Democracy, a very subjective word. In Switzerland the people will vote tomorrow on whether inhabitants wanting to become swiss can do so without an anonymous vote of the local inhabitants. They already require you to have lived there 12 years, speak the language, know it's laws and cultures, but that isn't enough say some. They want the people to decide (anonymously) whether they like the look of the wannabe-swiss from a photo and a short summary of where they come from etc. Opponents are calling it discrimination, but as the ruling party is trying to overturn the supreme court';s ruling from 5 years ago, it is now going to a referendum of the people.

And for those of you able to make it, there was a great celebration in the tiny village of Penn on the 17th. Yes, the post-wedding party took place with people coming from spain, germany as well as the UK to eat, drink and be merry. Everyone ended up rolling back to their beds after such a big feast. Well done to all the organisers !!

Keep counting those calories...

Non-Stop Hiccups, Theatrical Stripper and Online Latin

Everyone hears the stories of somebody that couldn't stop hiccupping, whilst being told to eat more slowly and not rush your drink. Well now there is actually someone who's got this problem. He's been hiccupping for the last 13 months. This might be considered an annoying but slight inconvenience, except that this guy is a musician. Yep, and he doesn't work for those natural body musicians...

Out of work, female and living near Norfolk? Then this may be a job for you. A local theatrical group are looking for a lady to strip off in their latest play. Apparently they haven't had enough offers yet. Will we get to see hopefuls performing on TV in the future a la Apprentice? Hold on, that's what Big Brother is for...

Got a Wii? Ever wanted to know how you could get your wife/girlfriend/neighbour to play with it too? Don't despair, the latest game is one of skill, balance, and body control. Yes, it's Wii Pole Dancing (pole included). Get your pre-orders in quick...

So you thought Latin was only used by clergymen, botanists, and medics? Now add internet surfers to your list, as the Vatican has gone online, creating a web-presence in Latin to help all of you budding latinists. Can't wait to see the incorporated chat...

Now for those of you who ever wondered what ever happened to those public information films you remember seeing as a kid, I've got the answer. This site has them archived in all their glory, so that you can peruse them and learn from them at your pleasure. Now remember kids, look both ways before crossing the internet superhighway...

So put on your sandals, bring your book, and get down to the river...

Smelly Art, Protected Sausage and Italian Salaries

What with the weather picking up now, it's that time of the year when the Mainz marathon takes place. This is similar to the carnival, in that all useful roads between where I live and where I work are blocked off for the most part of the day. This is not very conducive to getting work done...

In Sunderland, an art gallery has put on an unusual exhibition. It's all about smells. Examples include the Hiroshima bomb, the plague, and Cleopatra's hair. It hasn't been mentioned whether they make the smell of a good old fry-up next to the museum canteen...

After the Pork Pie's recent protected status, the cumberland sausage is at it too. Yes, this long curled up piece of meat is fighting for protection from those foreign imposters...

Just before the current italian government goes out of office, it made sure it would be remembered - by posting the salary details and registered taxes of all it's citizens on a webpage. Nice to know that privacy and identity fraud are top of the politician's lists...

Inhabitants of the Greek Island of Lesbos have decided they will take the jokes no more, and are taking the greek societies to court of their use of the name lesbian. Yes, they are fighting for their right (and nobody else's) to call themselves this name. Interesting to see what happens with this, and if the world over people will have to call themselves something else instead. Possible new names on a postcard please...

Well, last night saw the final birthday celebration of Olga, seeing as monday isn't an easy day for most people to celebrate. Visitors to our humble abode included Aline and family, Friedi and Marc, Salvo, the chichinos, Jackeline (Peru), Dani, Beatriz, Carlitos amongst others. It seems that the cheese platters went down well, as none was left over at the end. The salads and meatballs were also enjoyed, but the most successful item had to be Salvo's Guinness cake. Very nice...

So, get your running shoes on and try to get down to the river before the tired marathon runners come back...

St George, Bed Degrees, Hedgehog Star and Euro-Whiff

So the weather has been picking up, we actually had sun today! Unfortunately it was raining yesterday for Olga's birthday. Never mind, we still had great food (pity about the service though).

At school I always remember our football games got interrupted when a hedgehog decided to make it's way from the nearby bushes across out field. We always left it o do it's thing, as it was often said they were dangerous. I now realise just how dangerous they can be, as a Man in New Zealand was assaulted by one!!

Most people would love the chance to fly in one of the new A380 Airbus planes. However, I have my reservations, confirmed by finding out that they plan to cut corners on the bathrooms and fit in military style urinals. I can just imagine the plane tilting to the left, and the wall getting soaked...very nice for the next person...

The Independent gave out a new university guide last week, bringing in factors like student satisfaction. This sounds like a great way of finding out which universities swot up for their 'exams' but don't actually know how best to teach their students. But every silver lining has a cloud (or was that the other way round?), as they are now offering diplomas in selling beds!!! Oh standards...

It was always suspected, but know the Met Office was able to confirm. A foul smell that was filling up the air in the south of the country has now been traced as coming across the channel, from the Netherlands or Germany. This has earnt it the nickname of the Euro-Whiff. Insert witty anti-euro slogan here :)

Walking along the roads in London I was pleasantly surprised to not find any animal mess on the pavement (as opposed to Mainz, where you have to check every step you take). I think I now know why this is. They are scooping it all up and selling it as expensive coffee. I think I'll have mine without milk please...

April 9th is a special date in Colombia. In 1948 the future president was shot dead. Various events happened directly afterwards, but of course the most known is the start of the war with the Farc guerrillas. The BBC has an interesting article about this event that so changed a country. This is another occasion when a 'what if' question pops up.

Whilst over in the UK last week I managed to meet up with Nick one evening. He was awaiting his wife Victoria who was arriving back from the US early in the morning, so no drinking to report on. Due to fatigue, Saint George's Day went uncelebrated, maybe next year...

So, getting the grill all cleaned up, next weekend it's Barbie time !!