The alternative side of the news

It's hard to read or see anything different on the news as so much space and time is being taken up by revolutions, protests, and meerkats selling car insurance. Right, I thought, now it's time for me to publish some more of my really important alternative news stories of the week.

First up is Watson. No, not Sherlock's great sidekick, but rather a special supercomputer from IBM that has just finished beating the best contestants at the American game show Jeopardy. Yes, this machine was so clever at finding the correct answers (or questions) that it will probably be spending the rest of its life relaxing on some desert island with the winnings it made.

Talking about science, the Royal Society has published its annual report and said that there aren't enough schoolchildren studying scientific A-Level subjects, and the ones that do aren't helped by the lack of motivated teachers. This is leading to a never-ending spiral of film-studies and 14th century badminton rackets students . Okay, maybe their aren't that many types badminton rackets in the 14th century, but there definitely weren't any fast food burger joints offering degrees then either.

On a royal note, anything planned for the must-be-seen-at wedding in April this year? Well, for want of something unusual to write home about, why not visit Abingdon. This city will be having a bun fight in celebration of the occasion, catapulting thousands of currant buns from the rooftop of their city hall to the crowds gathered below. Just make sure you're wearing a hard hat in case they have had to bake them weeks in advance...

Not quite such a seamless link to this next story, but if you venture down to Covent Garden in the near future, you might get a shock when ordering an ice-cream. A parlour has started selling their deserts made from human breast milk rather than cow's. If tasting something which you haven't tried since you were born is not for you, you can always give some yourself. They pay for your milk in order to keep their ice-cream business up and running...

Remember the Russian spy caught in the US last year? Ever wondered what people get up to after being unveiled? Well, apparently they get employed to design the space suits for the next cosmonauts...

Other interesting news coming from that scientific centre in the East: Just under a third of Russians interviewed believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth. Yes, no riding on back of turtles or being flat for them. In addition, the majority said that all radioactivity is man-made, and 29% said that humans fought the dinosaurs for control of planet earth.

Animals sometimes seem so close to us humans though. Take monkeys. Some women would argue that most men are still closely related to these mammals. A further explanation has recently arisen, in that they have been found to wash themselves with their own urine. Before the females amongst you start saying "I told you so", the reason cited for this behaviour is that it makes them more attractive to the female monkeys. What does that say about you now? :)

If you decide to go off to the cinema to try and forget about that last piece of news, then be careful with your manners. In Latvia a viewer was shot dead after eating his popcorn too loudly. The rumours that this happened during the erotic parts of the Black Swan are as yet unconfirmed.

On a food note, the EU has given the humble Cornish Pasty a protected status just like Champagne, Parma Ham, and Stilton Cheese. So next time you go out to buy one, check it has the correct authenticity.

For those of you of an inventive nature, you'll be pleased to find out that something sought by thousands of students has finally been invented. Yes, a cocktail-dispensing-slot-machine. Play this one armed bandit and be rewarded with non-historic concoctions like a Long Island Beach or a Green Virgin Slammer...

And finally to something personal. As the last poll attracted a grand total of one participant, I think you've had enough of being asked what to do with this site. So I will make the changes from a democratic-dictatorship position and stop pestering you.

What about Mainz, you might ask? What's different about Oxford? Well, currently it's a lot milder here and we haven't seen snow since early Jan, whereas I have been reliably informed that there was some of that white stuff over in the Rhineland just last week. Being able to compare the Irish pubs is another major thing. Here you get the usual great Irish beers, as well as a couple of English ones too. Bu there is no fast-food ordering service from the place next door. No, sir. Here they cook you a lovely Irish Stew, or Steak and Guiness Pie, all served with the seasonal vegetables, just to make sure you have something healthy too. Has that whet your appetite yet Carlitos?? :)

Oscars tonight - better get the sparkling wine out...

The Results Are In

Tunisia might have fallen, Egypt might be on the brink, and many other countries might be shaking in their boots, but here in this little corner of the cyberworld democracy has prevailed. Yes, the votes have been cast, the numbers counted, and the bribes ignored. I am therefore pleased to announce that this blog will be updated more often on a weekly basis. The fact that 3 voters consumed but did not inhale also pleases me.

So as promised I will unveil a bit of what's been happening recently. Christmas 2010 was spent in Wiesbaden, being Julianna's first celebration of this type we were allowed to enjoy it with her, her parents (Mark and Friedi), Christiane and the rest of the family. Snow was above the knee, cars were getting stuck, but it really was a great white Christmas, the like of which not seen for many years. Some photos of this event can be found here.

A trip up north was also on the cards the week before Xmas to see Doug, Gem, Dominic, Mia-Rose and bump. This was when the big snows had just started, but luckily we were not too badly affected. Some of the pictures can be seen here (including Olga enjoying the snow...).

New Year was spent here in Oxford with the lovely company of Ali, Luigi and Roberto. Typical tourist things took place like getting on the open top double decker bus to tour around the city (that was cold), visiting a good few traditional pubs, and some traditional British food for new year (yes, we did Indian). To check out some of the sights you could come and visit us, or just look at the photos here.

January also saw some familiar faces with cousin Jonathan and Sally being over here from Australia, and using that as an excuse to meet up with them, Juliette, Arnaud and Mariette, Clive and Wend. A great Spanish meal was had by all, although I think more time was spent catching up than actually eating...

And does Harald still appear in Neighbours? Apparently not (although his photo is still on the website), but Lou Carpenter, Paul Robinson, Karl Kennedy, Toadfish, and the lovely Libby are still there. Of course, it's never going to be the same without Charlene (aka Kylie Minogue).

I see that the the number of visitors has been going up steadily (not sure if it's because of my improving writing style, or just people are starting to wake up after a new year stuper). Thanks for that :)

You will also notice that on the right hand side of this page there are a couple of boxes from Amazon (one for UK, the other for Germany) and a Google ad column further down. These are little ways in helping to finance this site when people order anything through these links. However, according to my statistics, nobody actually uses them. So this leads to the next quiz: What would you prefer to have appear on the right of this site?
Maybe you like the idea of being able to buy via Amazon straight from this site, maybe you find some of the adverts from Google interesting, or maybe you want a list of great offers and links carefully picked by yours truly? Cast your vote and let me know !

One last thing before I let you get back to your Sunday papers: There is actually a button below each post allowing you to write your comments, post to facebook, tweet and email. Please use them! Nothing like getting the word out :)

Change is in the air

Winter might seem to be on the way out, letting spring into 2011, but that's not the only change that has happened. In fact, the other change has been the main culprit which has stopped posts being published on this blog.

If you hadn't noticed the change of heading, then maybe you should just give up now. Yes, This blogger has pulled up his roots, slung them over his shoulder and left on a mule. Well, sort of. After a good many years writing from the German city of Mainz, the wind has changed and posts will now be written from the wonderful city of Oxford, Great Britain.
If you think this might affect my writing style, then you might be correct. But it couldn't get much worse now, could it?

And in the chaos of the move, the new life, culture and bureaucracy, a new leaf will be turned, democracy fulfilled and some people sighing relief. Yes, YOU get to decide!
First decision you can influence is how often updates to this blog should be written? I know it's not the most frequently written page, and that most of you have probably given up (website analytics tell me it's about a tenth of what it used to be in it's heyday back in 2001), but maybe you don't have time to read it every day anyway. In fact, maybe you just subscribe to the RSS feed and don't visit the page at all. So in the interests of information gathering I have created two polls for you just over on the right hand side of the page. Please fill them in with your feedback, you have a week to show there is more than the three people that answered in the last two polls...

So what happened at Christmas 2010? How was the New Year 2011 celebrated? And is Harold still in neighbours? All this and more in the next post, coming to you...when you decide ! (a bit like on-demand viewing but fewer buttons).

Cast your votes !

Paella, Pa'ella, Pa'mi

First up, Lobelto now has a place in Mainz! Yes, he couldn't have chosen a better place except if it came with a ladyfriend included. So by the end of the month we should be seeing a lot more of him...

Saturday saw the latest Seacava Paella. This time cooked and organised by Ali and Mamen. Without wanting to put down the retired paella maker (Carlitos), it tasted great. Despite the slightly late start, the assembled group ate and ate, and drank and drank until there were only a few doggy bags to take home for the next day's dinner. After this filling meal, a trip to Haddocks was undertaken, where it ended at 2am with Lobelto asleep in the corner and a lot of burros playing cards. Pity that the following day had to be spent washing all the clothes as a table of guests saw fit to flout the no-smoking laws during our time there.

On another note, it looks like Jordi (yes, of 2000/01 fame) has been given a job in Brussels now where he will be doing what he does best. Good luck !

And now for something different - news related. What with Angela Merkel admitting that the German method of integration of foreigners has been a disaster, how do you feel? Go on, have a go. Hopefully more than the previous 3 will respond...

Licensed to Live

This last week has seen Olga complete her studies as a psychologist, and Rafa graduate as an electrical engineer. So if you have problems with your life or mind, see the former, and if you have problems with your TV or the computer see the latter.

You might have noticed an addition to the right hand side of this blog. Yes, the polls are back, asking you those relevant and important questions on life. So go on, give it a go!

Website Fun, Dirty Pavements and Bottle Deposits

Nowadays everyone has a website, they are so easy to create. There are few companies that don't have some form of online presence, and most allow you to order their products or services directly. I like to call this user interaction. Well Hema (a dutch department store) brings this interactivity to a new dimension with their e-store here: http://producten.hema.nl/. This is going back to the roots of website building - for fun and enjoyment. Well done to the person that programmed that, and to the company for letting it go past prototype stage!

Now people say that we Brits are dog lovers. This is probably true, but I am sure that the Germans give us a run for our money. I remember when I first came over here to Mainz. I was walking along when I saw a mother with a young child in a pushchair and a dog on a leash. She stopped at the entrance of a supermarket, and to my astonishment, she tied up the pushchair to a lamppost and took the dog on the leash into the store with her. That's something that can only happen here.
Dogs can go anywhere. They are regularly taken into restaurants, supermarkets, swimming pools, which personally I don't find all that appealing. It will be of no surprise then, that I often come across a pile of dog turd in the street. Yes, there is a law forbidding them to leave a mess without the owner cleaning up, but with so many dogs about, how are you going to stop them all?
So the other day I was walking across the city and started to count how many different piles of poo I had to avoid. On this half hour walk which I repeat most days, I counted no less than 9 different dollops. This is getting ridiculous! Of course the reason why I decided to write about it now was that earlier this week, whilst carefully avoiding one steaming mess I accidentally trod in another. Next time I see a dog even bending it's leg in preparation for a squat, I am going to get out my camera and make sure a big flash goes off. Maybe some owners will learn to take control...

Talking of cameras, I am seriously considering having one permanently to hand whilst crossing zebra crossings in this city. At least twice a week I ma nearly hit because cars like to race across them rather than stop for pedestrians. Legally they have to stop as soon as my foot treads on the crossing, but in Mainz they like to speed up and keep driving across, despite being mere centimeters away from me. So be warned - next time I will have my camera to hand and there will be a nice clear photo being sent to the local police station.

So the UK is currently considering putting deposits on bottles of drink, like they did about 40 years ago. This of course is nothing new to the people of Germany who have had deposits on drinks bottles for as long as I cam remember. Although I have to admit they have changed the law a good many times as to which types of bottles have which type of deposit, and whether you have to take them back to the very same store you bought them from, with your receipt and a token (luckily that is no more).
But back to the UK. The main reason being touted for deposits being necessary, is that it would reduce the amount of litter on the streets. I don't have the statistics for the percentage of litter being made up of bottles, but I would hazard a guess at maybe 5% from what I personally remember seeing.
Now jump to Germany again. Asking a few locals gives differing answers with respect to if it helped the littering problem. Some say that it did, and there's less broken glass on the streets now (although if this were true, the streets must have been paved with glass before, as I still have to avoid at least 3 broken bottles on my daily walk - maybe I should do a proper count like with the dog turds). Others say that now instead of a few bottles on the ground, there a re many more vagrants combing the bins around the city, looking for any spare bottles. They will habitually empty out a bin whilst getting to glass container at the very bottom, which of course might mean that there's less glass on the street as a percentage of litter, but the amount of litter on the street has gone up considerably.
So I'm all for new ways to get our streets cleaner (personally believing that people who litter should be punished by having to clear up the town for at least a day for every piece they threw down) but maybe people should look beyond what the direct effects could be, and think of the side-effects too, to make an informed decision of whether the total balance is beneficial or not.

As a final note, for the doctor who recently celebrated his birthday and who used to be a frequent visitor to this site - welcome back !

The bane of malfunctioning credit card machines

To accompany the new design to this site, how about a bit of new content style too? That question was rhetorical, by the way :)

So in case you don't know, in Germany it is hard to pay for goods and services with credit cards. Big stores normally accept them, but otherwise you might just have a chance with the so called EC card. This is basically a debit card instead of the normal VISA debit cards etc one is used to.

Actually, an example I always like to give to people on the use of cards in Germany, is at a supermarket a couple of years ago. I was in the line to buy my groceries and as often happens, there is some special offer on some home electronics (or a chainsaw, but that's another story) this day there was a huge flatscreen TV on sale. It had a pricetag of around 550 Euros. And sure enough, the customer started to count out lots of fifty notes into the cashier's hand. And the cashier didn't flinch once - this is normal here !!!

But I digress, the card readers.

So to pay for a meal for instance, like in other non EC-card countries, a machine is brought out and the card inserted or swiped. The machine sends the details per wireless or cable to the base station where it checks with the payment authority if this card is valid. Then the customer is asked to either enter their PIN, or to sign a receipt.

Now I'm not the oldest person I know, but I remember this happening in some form for at least 10 years (pubs at uni accepted cards, don't you know). And I don't remember once ever having a problem with them.

Now wind forward to the present. Last night was the second time in two days (and on average I would say at least twice a month) when trying to pay for a meal in a restaurant (knowing full well they accept cards, so I don't bother making the treck to the bank to take out extra cash) that the waitress comes back and says sorry the machine isn't working today.

I know I long gave up on everything being so efficient here as people are led to believe, but I had hoped that at least this problem could just be a freak occurrence. So, we could be in the most rustic village in the middle of Spain, and the machines worked without a hitch, but here in Mainz they seem to have a malfunctioning rate of about one a week. Shouldn't someone investigate this? Did they get these machines on special discount from Aldi? Maybe they need to be sent to China to be repaired?

I think next time this happens I'll just give them my address and tell them to send me the bill. That way I don't have to do 3 trips to the bank a day...

So, about that chainsaw...

Lost but not forgotten

So I might have neglected this blog for a while now. No excuses, just lack of time. Well this weekend has been used to update the look of this site, which hadn't changed since I started it in 2001 (that's 9 years ago !!!) time. Hope you approve...

Dangerous Cheese, Spyclists, and the Purple People

So I've blogged before about the escapades of rolling cheese down a hill and people getting hurt trying to catch it. Well apparently it got too much, and this year's rolling has had to be called off. Next they will be banning egg-and-spoon-races...

The Shambles, in York, has been named Britain's most picturesque street, beating Bath's Royal Crescent into second place. Definitely worth a visit if you up that way...

You've heard of the warning about spies in our mists during the war. Loose tongues cost lives and the like. Well, what you might not have heard about, were the German touring cycle groups, which apparently went around the areas of possible invasions, to take note of the potential targets, and possible hostilities in the area. Is that why they love cycling so much in Germany?...

Movement is afoot in Italy. Not about the Vatican and the sex abuse claims, but rather on the political front. They don't have their own political party, but the Purple People are a large group of people that apparently formed through Facebook to show their dislike of Berlusconi. They have organised protests with hundreds of thousands of demonstrators turning out, all wearing something purple. It might not be a direct competition for the upcoming elections, but they do have a voice, and one which is getting louder by the day. It will be interesting to see when they reach a critical mass, how the current leader can cope (except for using violence of course)...

There once was a lovely village set in the middle of green pastures, where one could relax without noisy motorways, airports etc nearby. This Area of Natural Beauty is called the Chilterns. And this will no longer be the case if the government has its way and creates their new High Speed Rail Link between London and Birmingham going straight through this greenbelt area. Start joining the protests now...

And the Rugby. The latest Six Nations game is underway at the moment, France vs Italy, and then the final matches are being played next Saturday, which we will hopefully be able to enjoy with Luca, Carlitos, Luigi and a possible show by Lobelto. Then we will have to wait for the World Cup in South Africa...

Carnival Thaw

So the carnivals have drawn to an end. This year there actually seemed to be less broken glass on the ground...could it be fewer bottles were smashed? Or they were quicker in cleaning up? Or did the cold weather keep many people at home? I don't know the answer, but it was a nice surprise on the Tuesday morning to not have to pick glass splinters out of my shoes when I arrived at the office.

Of course, cold weather was never a problem in Barranquilla, where their carnival took place at 34 degrees celsius.

As most people are still recovering on the Tuesday after carnival, I suspect they forgot that it's also known as Pancake Day. Yes, you should pick up all your leftovers and use them as filling for the pancakes you make. Tasty...

Google StreetView has appeared in this blog a few times. And here it is again. This time the video-car came across something in Norway that was very unexpected...just take a look at this link.

Well, Luca is back in Germany, this time in Bochum, so maybe there will be a meetup again, once the weather has warmed up a bit.

Keep those woollies on...

Pricey Ham, Evils of Playstation, and Airport Security

Selfridges has decided that there are some people out there who would pay an arm and a leg for a nice piece of ham. They have put up for sale a piece costing 1800 pounds. Yes, that's pounds, not pesetas...

Amongst all the worrying things that the current president of Venezuela has done (taking over anything and everything) is the attack on the Sony Playstation. Yes, that's right, Chavez has decided that this piece of technology is evil. A bit like the pot calling the kettle black...

So after the latest attempt to blow up an airliner it's become all the rage to bring in the nudity scanners in airports. You know the ones - you walk through and the attendant no longer asks you if you have a canoe in your pocket. Well, in principle, the better you get at detecting these things, the safer for us, right? Well, it would be if humans were not part of this equation. Just take Munich airport (go on, take it). They have the explosives detection in place to work on laptops, and the machine says that this laptop was probably in touch with explosive substance. Well that should be the end of it you may think. Inspect the guy thoroughly until you are sure it was just a false positive. Well, no. The human element lets this guy take his laptop and walk away into the (security cleared) area of the airport. Here he can board a plane, make a transit in another country and not get rechecked.
So it doesn't really matter if we have to pass through a scanner completely naked, get all our orifices checked and have sniffer dogs all over us. In the end the human element will allow mistakes to happen. So what should we do? Well, maybe we should just sit back and await all the status updates that these new scanner machines could generate on twitter...oh, nobody told you they were attached to a SIM card?...

Travel safely...

Certain Weather, Riot Sledging and Chavez Stores

Whilst the weather here can't make up it's mind (finally the snow had cleared for 2 days and then in 2 hours 2 inches of snow had fallen in Mainz yesterday evening) let's have a look at what's been happening in the world.

A novel new use of police riot shields has been found in Oxfordshire. After a heavy snowfall with most people being snowed in, a couple of bobbies decided to take to the slopes on their aforementioned protective gear. Looks like fun, although that didn't last once their boss got wind of their escapades...

After devaluing the Venezualen currency last week, Chavez ordered soldiers to take to the streets and take over shops not offering their wares at their recent lower value. Is there anything this man won't keep his hands off?

Ever wondered what that whiff was when you drive out of London? Well it could quite easily be the recycling of sewage, which has been saving millions of pounds a year, and generated 14% of Thames Water's energy. Other ideas for recycling it as lip-gloss haven't gone down too well though...

Just left to say that the earthquake in Haiti has been taking up most of the news lately. Let's hope they manage to sort out the supply dispersion quickly enough to save as many lives as possible of those that are left...

Think before you apply that make-up...

Lidl Drugs, Bean PM, and Y2010 Bugs

If you're going shopping at Lidl in Spain, maybe you should take a closer look at that package of bananas you put in your trolley after one kilo bags of cocaine were found to be hidden in amongst the fruit. I suppose there's going to be someone that's not too happy about losing so much powder, and then there's going to be someone who's very happy with their latest banana trifle ;)

Spain's PM, Zapatero has often been likened to TV personality Mr Bean. So it was a funny surprise to see that a hacker had exchanged the PM's photo on his website for the new EU presidency for that of the comic. It would be interesting to find out how many people had seen the site without realising there had been a switch...

Ten years ago, you heaved a sigh of relief, that after so many reports of the world coming to an end, the millenium actually started with very few technical hickups. Pity the people with German cards then, who woke up on the 1st of Jan 2010 and tried to pay for their shopping, take out money from the ATM, or were on holiday trying to pay for that expensive meal they just ate - and finding out that there's a technical glitch with the chips on their cards and they don't work. Well this happened to around 30 million German card holders, who were without resolve until yesterday. Of course, this comes on top of the fact that in November last year, over 100 thousand German credit cards had to be recalled after there was a security breach in the payment system, and they were being used without the owners consent.

Well, there's been a lot of snow chaos going on all over Europe, temperatures reaching -22 degrees, airports being closed, planes being cancelled, lorries and cars in pile-ups and accidents, and water pipes bursting. If it wasn't so cold out there I'd take some photos and put them up, but you'll have to make do with this link to the BBC article here.

Wrap up well !

Cheese Charge, Being Swedish and Marmite Thefts

So, what's being going on this winter so far? After having the family over for Christmas Markets visit (and Clive getting addicted to the Glow Juice), Tati and Jan got married, and we had the first snow.

In fact, the first snow happened yesterday with -4 degrees, and despite being predicted, caused large scale chaos in Mainz. The buses were all held up as the city came to a standstill with the roads all gridlocked for about 4 hours. The roads and pavements were of course not gritted, so became sheets of black ice, and the emergency vehicles couldn't get through the traffic. This morning we had -13 degrees...

Hopefully you're not traveling off to Hong Kong with Cathay Pacific, as it is currently having problems with mysterious toilet blockages on it's flights. If you are traveling these holidays, then now you know why the extra sick bags can be found in front of you...

You either love it or you hate it, but this saying is being brought to extremes as a petrol station manager is having to lock away his jars of marmite behind the counter after they were targeted in multiple robberies. It is not mentioned whether the assailants were armed with twiglets...

Ever wondered what being Swedish is all about? Well according to a local politician part of it is the ability to swing both ways in the same day. If you want the more detailed and exact definition she gave, check out this link.

The Cosmopolitan has some sound advice for those of you wanting to make sure you do everything possible not to catch the swine flu: avoid the missionary position - adopt the reverse cowgirl. Nice to know that they are thinking of our best interests...

The financial crisis is having it's effects felt everywhere. In Aachen, Germany a 74 year-old man and a 53 year-old woman disagreed about possession of the trolley. So to sort it out the woman got hold of a 4 pound wedge of parmesan cheese, and used it as a dagger, whilst the man counter-attacked with a stick of salami. The woman had to be treated for a cracked head at the end of the day. It is not mentioned who ended up with the trolley, nor what products were obviously so valuable...

History has been made by a man in the US who was put away in jail at the age of 19 for 35 years, only to be freed now on DNA evidence. Looking at the t-shirt he was wearing, maybe the police could have gotten a clue t his innocence a bit earlier on...

Well, nothing like freezing at home, wondering when the summer will come (or some more glow-juice, hey Clive?).

Wrap up warm...

Spanish Helping Hand, Stolen Cafe and Female Blue Pills

Government education plans have always been criticized as too simple, too difficult or too expensive. Well the Spanish region of Extremadura has hit the headlines after they have put forward 14000 euros for booklets telling children how to go solo (and no, I'm not talking about flying across the channel). It's not mentioned whether they get practical lessons too, and if they do, whether it's in mixed classes...

Imagine going in to work one day to find the building gone. Well that's what happened to the owner of the Tip Top Tasters Cafe in Keighley. The 2.5 tonnes of building with all of it's contents went missing overnight and nobody saw anything. Next time maybe chain it to a bike rack...

Now woman are allowed to get a similar amount of spam mail as men after the discovery of a drug that is claimed to be a female viagra. Look out for the Christmas his'n her sets this December in your local pharmacy...

And finally good news for men everywhere. Alcohol is good for our hearts. In fact, according to this report, having more of it makes our hearts better still. Somehow I have a feeling this news will be shot down by various medics though...

Well, get out there and do your xmas shopping...

Huge Meatballs, Oxford Street X, and Sexy Accents

So you thought the triple decker burgers were an exaggeration? How about a meatball that weighs in at 101 kilos ? Thankfully all that meat didn't go to waste - it was donated to a local kitchen to feed the hungry. It isn't noted, however, how many of them it managed to feed...

Oxford Circus has a new crossing. Based on a japanese design, it's based on the X shape, and apparently carries up to 70% more people across it. This blogger will be taking a look at it in the near future and be letting you know if he feels like there's 70% more space around him when he crosses it...

The Italians have been toppled ! The Irish have gone up to 1st position in the tables of sexiest accents in the world. The Scottish, Welsh and English are also in the top 10. In fact, all bar Australian and American were European accents. I suppose, had all the poor people in world also been given a chance to vote, maybe this would have changed the results. In fact, if the survey was done in more languages it would also maybe have attracted some of the more populous countries like China and India to take part. Then again, maybe they did, and still found the Irish accent the sexiest...

Ever thought bats were boring, nocturnal creatures that don't get to enjoy life? Well, think again, as the latest edition of Science has an article describing how asian bats get up to all sorts of naughty business that would put viagra-fuelled monkeys to shame. It doesn't state, though, whether this is due to them hanging upside down all day and the blood rushing to their heads...

Prepare yourself for Guy Fawkes Night...

Childish Lemonade and Online Memories

Fentimans traditional Victorian lemonade, fermented over 7 days, has caused controversy in the US, after the natural alcohol content of 0.5% was noticed by a schoolboy in Maine. He then complained to the principal and it's escalated up through the police and the state Attorney General's office.
All this over a drink that's been legally classified as a soft drink. It makes me wonder why this kid decided to tell his principal. Was he annoyed that he wasn't getting drunk on something he saw had alcohol content on the label? Did he try drinking 16 bottles to get the equivalent of a pint of weak beer? Or did he just not like the Victorian age in his history class? Well, at least it made sales soar with all the media interest...

Ever thought that technology is all well and good, but as soon as you die, it's not really helpful anymore? In order to prove this wrong, facebook has introduced a new feature allowing you to enshrine a profile as a memorial to that person. So just wait to hear about some celebrity's profile being hacked to make it look like they've died, especially around April 1st...

On top of that, if you're not quite sure where to get burial apparel, then don't worry, Walmart now has a selection of coffins for you to order online. Start getting worried when they have them on offer "2-for-1"...

So another month draws to an end, and in the next couple of days there are a few birthdays to celebrate. Mavi with be blowing out candles on Sunday, as will Patricia on Monday. Also on Sunday, Mariette will be christened. Enjoy !

Battle of the Whales, Healing Curry and Court (in)Security

An event until now not captured on film, the BBC have managed to witness humpback whales fighting of the female. The video is worth watching here. It's amazing how close one can get, and feel like you can touch them (without getting hurt or wet, of course).

What students have been using for decades as a hangover cure, the humble curry now seems to also have cancer-healing powers.
Now those students (who are now more grown up) have a new excuse for going down the curry house - just trying to keep healthy, my dear !

In Germany, the trial begins of a man that stabbed a muslim woman to death in a courtroom. The original case was about defamation in the playground, but obviously it's gotten a bit more serious than that now. Let's just hope that they check for weapons at the court doors this time around...

Another case of ID cards not adding up today. This time, it's been calculated from government figures about total cost of the scheme, and cost for each person, that in order to be self-financing (as the government has said it will be) there need to be 28 million people that voluntarily join the scheme (and pay up the 30 pounds for the privilege). That's nearly half of all people in Britain ! Good to know that we are talking in realistic figures then. Maybe it would have been better to join up with the national lottery, and for every ID card registered, you get a free chance at the jackpot millions? It might make it past the two thousand volunteers that signed up in Manchester then. I thought maths was obligatory at all schools. Even those which politicians go to...

Just popping out for a curry... ;)

Celebrity Hitmen, PC Nursery Rhymes, and Messed Up Monkeys

So you are doing a show of murders that are happening in your city. Things are a bit slow. What do you do? Well, this Brazilian TV host decided to set about ordering killings which just happened to be his rivals in the drug trade. I wonder if one should start investigating Crimewatch...

Political 'correctness' is coming into the BBC now, where they've just made the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme have a happy ending. Isn't there any topic that doesn't end up being savaged by such political nonsense?

Fifteen years ago, pregnant monkeys were given cocaine. Now their middle-aged children are showing the effects. The male monkeys that were inside the womb at the time of the drug intake are impatient, and have no self control. I suppose the female monkeys were like this at this age anyway, which is why they didn't notice a difference...

Keep those monkeys happy...

Driving Beer, PC Brain, Peruvian Food, and Conker Clampdown

We all know you shouldn't drink and drive. But how about driving your beer? That's what an German biker tried out, converting a beer crate into a sort of quad bike. Despite the police saying it was va very clever idea, they still confiscated it as an illegal vehicle. It isn't mentioned whether to go faster you have to drop balast, or drink a beer...

There are all sorts of addons for your PC. But I bet you never say a pulsating brain? Looking pretty life like, this gadget pulsates with the processor, expanding when the CPU is busy, and shrinking when it's running idle. You just have to see the video to believe it...

Peru is combatting the crisis by pushing it's food business. In fact, there are so many people interested in becoming cooks there, it's hard to find a place on a course. You could of course take the other route (preferred by this author) of just eating the food cooked by the peruvian cooks ;)
Here's waiting for some peruvian restaurants to appear around here soon...

I remember collecting a huge bag of conkers whilst doing the paper round and bringing them into school to try my luck in the one of the best playground games. It seems to have become a bit less fun nowadays, as officials in a village conker tournament in Gloucestershire have been checking all pieces of string, and putting the conkers in a vice to check that they haven't been tampered with. I suppose there will be no hot food being sold at this competition, as otherwise those unscrupulous players will be putting their conkers in the oven with vinegar to improve their chances...

Colombia is attracting tourists to an area that until recently was impossible to visit due to security fears. La Macarena is an area of natural beauty with it's famed red-tinted water, which is now attracting visitors doing eco-tourism. Hopefully this can keep up and the income can help to make more areas of this amazing country accessible to others...

Are you a fan of Friends? Or rather, were you? Well head down to London where they have built the Central Perk coffee shop and fitted it out with all the props that were seen on the set. Of course, the couch is the most attractive of them all to the visitors, as most of the filming was done on there, so get a drink, sit back and remember those good times...

Ever wondered what all the fuss was about in the playground when the latest fashion accessory is some cheapy plastic wristband? Well, wonder no more, as this article (commenting on an article in the Sun) explains it all. Just makes you wonder what really is going on behind those innocent faces...

The Wisconsin Tourism Federation has decided to change it's name that it has had since 1979 after realising that it might mean something else now. WTF will now be known as TFW (Tourism Federation of Wisconsin). Maybe they should have checked the meaning of this new acronym as well, as this page shows...

Now let's get those winter clothes out...